Treachery

The secret to avoiding treachery, is to know the traitor before he knows himself.

Mistresses

Marrying your mistress automatically creates a vacancy.

Advice To Gordon Brown

In the name of God, go!

War

The objective of war is victory, not protracted and painful stalemate.

The Enemy Within

Local councils who spy on the local population.

Holidays

Those with the time to take a holiday haven't got enough to do.

Honey Traps

The best form of honey trap is one where the victim does not know that he/she has been "trapped".

Kickstarting Old Business Deals

Old business deals that have yet to be completed are like rotting fish, they should be discarded forever.

Stress Buster

Never underestimate the therapeutic and cathartic benefits of tying one round the tree every so often.

Advice To Hotel Designers

When designing the wardrobes for your guest rooms, please ensure that they are wide enough to accommodate the width of a jacket.

How To Spot a Conman

1 He lies

2 He makes exaggerated claims about knowing "senior/influential" people, yet he never names them

3 He makes exaggerated claims about progress being made wrt a business deal

4 He issues threatening emails when he does not get his own way

5 When the threatening emails have no effect, he then argues that they were misinterpreted

6 He avoids discussion of the fundamental issues wrt the deal or business decision, eg completion date, price etc

7 He blames others when things go wrong

8 He has an exaggerated opinion of his own self importance

Boils

Unresolved issues in business are much like boils, they should be lanced with the same vigour as boils on the body. Poisonous matter should not be allowed to fester and gather pus, even if there is a mess to clean up afterwards.

Bold moves

Bold moves and initiatives are best made in the heat of battle.

Listening

It is a sad fact of life that there are some managers and directors who do not listen to advice, even when it is clearly correct, and push on regardless.

The only way to handle characters such as these is to allow them to crash into the brick wall that they have been warned about, that is the only way that they will learn.

Advice To David Davis

Don't have an orgasm over your "victory", of course you won against Miss Great Britain et al.

Advice To Gordon Brown

Heathcliff you most certainly are not!

Fast Moving

Fast moving goods are meant to be exactly that, fast moving; they should not be sitting around in the warehouse for months gathering dust.

Companies and directors who do not grasp this fundamental truism will fail.

Pushing Grains of Sand

Businesses should avoid the trap of wasting time and money trying to make a non profit making enterprise succeed, if all it amounts to is continually trying to push a grain of sand up a hill.

The Sands of Time Run Out

As the sands of time run out on the current US Administration, the world can look forward to a brighter future.

The current Administration is truly lousy, bitter, divided and dangerous; one that the world will be glad to see the back of in January 2009!

Low Profile

Low profile does not always equate to high returns.

Religion

Why do some followers of religion insist on trying to ram their beliefs down others' throats?