Spammers

Why do all spammers seem to think that I am having problems with my "wang"?

Advice To The Media

Destroying the reputations of all of our MPs may, in the short term, be as amusing as pulling the wings off flies. However, what do you replace them with once you have destroyed them and had them hounded from office?

Mice

Beware the cornered mouse, it will fight if it feels it has nothing left to lose.

Politics

The primary function of any MP is to save his/her own political skin.

Crisis

Never let a good crisis go to waste.

Esther Rantzen

Heaven protect us from Esther Rantzen MP.

Crocodile Tears

Don't fall for the crocodile tears, shed so very publicly by some MPs, for the soon to be departed speaker.

Great Con Tricks of The 21st Century

"Stone baked".

Eurovision

A complete waste of time and money.

However, congratulations to Norway for breaking the East European vote rigging.

Question To MPs Repaying Underpaid Tax

Why do you deserve to get away with a mere apology and repayment of underpaid tax sans interest/penalties?

Were this to happen to anyone else, HMRC would conduct a lengthy and aggressive investigation into previous tax returns.

Advice To The Prime Minister

No one is listening to you anymore.

Advice To House Flipping Politicians

Get on your knees and beg for the voters' forgiveness.

Advice To Politicians Making Expense Claims

Not only should you ensure that your claims are within the rules, you should also ensure that they are above reproach in every way.

To hide behind the glib phrase "I followed procedures" simply is not good enough.

Advice to Politicians

The voters neither like, nor respect you; in fact they loath you!

It will take some very hard graft indeed to improve such tarnished reputations.

Advice To Prime Ministers

Beware an actress scorned.

Advice To Actresses

Don't trust Prime Minsiters.

Vanity

Beware those who have the conviction of their own vanity.

The Future

One man by himself may not be able to summon the future. However, he may be able to plant the seed of the vision.

T Shirts

Why are my favourite T shirts always at the back of the cupboard drawer?