Chili Eating

When eating chili it is advisable to try to aim for the mouth, rather than splatter it in your hair.

Domestic Building Projects

Beware mission creep!

Tactics and Strategy

To employ tactics without strategy is a policy doomed to fail.

Advice For Power and Water Cuts

When your power and water are cut off temporarily, and you can't use the computer or make a cup of tea, go for a walk.

Sod's Law

The phone will always ring, or the door will always knock when you are in the bathroom.

Friday

It being Friday, you now have my permission to start drinking.

Never A Truer Saying

“What goes around, comes around”

Happy Trafalgar Day

Chips

It's always fun finding a selection of last night's takeaway chips secreted within and under the sofa the next morning.

Monday Mornings

What better way to start your week than to sleep through Monday and start the week on Tuesday?

The Customer Is Always Right

The maxim of "the customer is always right" is indeed valid when running a business. However, sometimes the following caveat applies:

"The customer can be an indecisive, time wasting moron"

Lost Battles

When the battle is lost, regroup and move on lest you lose the war by continuing to fight the lost battle.

Enforced Regime Change

So how's that been working out then?

The world feels so much "safer" and more "stable" since it has become de facto foreign policy of certain countries to destabilise others, in the hope of "encouraging" regime change.

NOT!

Waste Not, Want Not

Waste not, want not or so the old saying goes.

However, that is not always applicable.

The other day I found a half consumed can of lager in the street, and duly saved it. However, today I really don't want to drink it!

Changing The World

Shouting at the world will not change it.

Advice To Firefox

Fix your product!

Advice To Cold Callers

FUCK OFF!

Conundrum

Q: When is a terrorist not a terrorist?

A: When he is a third party asset.

A Closed Mind

Only a closed mind is certain.

Tired Old Camels

Tired old camels really don't appreciate extra straws being placed upon them.

Those who have luxuriated in positions of power and authority over the years might want to bear this in mind when they place extra burdens upon their subservients.

Regime Change

How much the safer the world is now that Muammar Gaddafi and Sadam Hussein are dead, and that Bashar al-Assad's regime has been destabilised by outside agencies.

What?

You mean it isn't safer, but is in fact more dangerous?

How could that be??

Friendship

May the enemies of one's friends die screaming!