Ken's Blue Blog
Musings on "the bleedin' obvious"; views on the meaning of life, or anything else that takes my fancy.

Friday, December 19, 2014

Two Years

Whenever a politician or businessman says something will take two years to solve, be assured that he/she is lying. What he/she really means is that he/she has absolutely no clue as to whether the problem can be solved or how long it will take to solve.

Thursday, December 18, 2014


Today is a two cloves of garlic day for breakfast!

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

It is rude, and not ladylike, to fart in my face at 4am when I am in bed trying to sleep.

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Wounded Bears

Beware a wounded bear, it will strike you back.

Monday, December 15, 2014

Frost's Law

Decisions made and actions taken in the days running up to Christmas are invariably regretted in the days after New Year.

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Advice To Hoteliers

You are there for your guests' convenience, not the other way around!

Tuesday, December 09, 2014


It is unwise to eat large amounts of pasta three meals in succession.

Monday, December 08, 2014

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

The morning cat parade and circus on our bed is all very entertaining and "spectacular". However, please could you reschedule it from 4am to something a little closer to 7am?

Friday, December 05, 2014

Card Fraudsters

A pox upon the thieving little c*nt who tried to steal money from my bank account today!

Thursday, December 04, 2014

Advice To The Advertisers of Antiperspirants

People do not wave their arms in the air, displaying their armpits for others to admire, with gormless self satisfied grins on their faces.

Wednesday, December 03, 2014

Advice To Travel Agents

Check your e tickets first before sending them to your clients, as time travel is not yet possible and it is "unlikely" to say the least that you can arrive the same day (when travelling eastwards long haul) before you left.

Tuesday, December 02, 2014

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

There is no need to drag your food from your plate onto the floor when you are eating. The clean plate that we provide you with is there to be used for eating from.

Monday, December 01, 2014

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

When you shed your claws on the floor/carpet, please could you pick them up and dispose of them properly.

Friday, November 28, 2014

Advice To Consumers

Don't fight over products in stores, not only is it undignified it is pointless; the product's "novelty" will soon wear off, and the void that the product temporarily filled will return with a vengeance!

Thursday, November 27, 2014

Wednesday, November 26, 2014


Evil can never face itself. Hence, in order to destroy it you must confront it with itself.

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Temporal Paradoxes

Temporal paradoxes are resolved by the creation and addition of a new time-stream to those already in existence. Hence time travel is perfectly possible.

Monday, November 24, 2014

Log Fires

When tending a particularly sooty log fire, it is always advisable to scrub your nails thoroughly before going to bed.

Friday, November 21, 2014

Cat Alarm Clocks

Cats are very reliable alarm clocks. Unfortunately they are programmed to wake you at 5am.