Ken's Blue Blog
Musings on "the bleedin' obvious"; views on the meaning of life, or anything else that takes my fancy.

Monday, April 27, 2015


Porridge should be made with water, not milk, and should be eaten standing up.

Friday, April 24, 2015

Advice to Chefs

A piece of meat encased between two slabs of ciabatta is not a burger.

Wednesday, April 22, 2015


Psychopaths are intra species predators who tend to rise to the top of their respective feeding chains, eg business and politics.

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Live Dangerously

Live dangerously, never carry an umbrella!

Monday, April 20, 2015


Given that setting 3 brings a slice of bread to toasted perfection, why on earth do toasters need setting 6 which would clearly cremate anything put into the toaster?

Friday, April 17, 2015

Question For Charming Events

Regarding the 5 emails you sent me today wrt the following:

The best dates and venues always sell out early,
let us reserve your slot now

Christmas shared packages from just £129 pp + vat etc

Are you nuts?

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Sunshine and White Trousers

It is a fundamental law of the universe that as soon as I don my white trousers the sun becomes occluded by the clouds!

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Accurate Weather Forecasts

The weather forecasts for the last three days have been 100% accurate.

What the fark is going on??

Monday, April 13, 2015


For that authentic "reverse panda" look, never remove your sunglasses when out in the sunshine.

Thursday, April 09, 2015

Question For My Mobile Phone

Why do you run out of power at the very minute I need to use you?

Wednesday, April 08, 2015

Night Sweats

Night sweats are a most effective means of ridding the body of excess gin, whilst leaving the day free to consume more.

Tuesday, April 07, 2015

Weather Exuberance

Beware weather exuberance indulged in by the media eg "Britain set to be hotter than Athens", it is invariably bollocks!

Thursday, April 02, 2015

Easter Weather

As sure as eggs are eggs, the British Easter weekend weather looks like being absolute shite!

Wednesday, April 01, 2015

April Fool

Today being April Fools' Day, we have to endure the media thinking it is being very witty by inserting made up stories into the newsflow of reality.

Much like every other day of the week then!

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

National Hysteria

Beware national hysteria whipped up by politicians and the media.

Monday, March 30, 2015

Advice To Those Seeking Loans

When asking for credit ensure that you do it in the native tongue of those from whom you wish to borrow money.

Friday, March 27, 2015

Advice To The Weather Gods

All and sundry to whom I spoken this morning have said that it is really a lovely day, and it is indeed so.

Therefore I advise the weather gods not to fark it up by messing with the blue sky and sunshine, otherwise there will be a reckoning!

Thursday, March 26, 2015


You cannot hold a government to account, if you don't know what it is doing.