Humans

Humans will always react to a situation in a human way (ie unpredictably). The reaction of animals is far easier to predict and manage.

Complex Systems

The more complex a system, the more prone it is to abuse.

War

War is the mother of all invention.

Eyes Closed

Sometimes it is best to speak with one's eyes closed, so that one may see more clearly.

Fark Off Windows!

Another day, another pc slowing Windows download!

Whiteboards

Whiteboards are the tools of dictators.

The Joy of Windows

How kind of Microsoft to be forever tinkering with their current releases of Windows, by downloading regular updates onto my pcs that slow them down.

How I look forward to Windews10 which, I assume, will be error free and not require updating?

Thank You Windows

Thank you Windows for choosing to download stuff onto my pc, the process of which not only slowed the machine down to a snail's pace but caused my wireless connection to drop!

Stained Trousers

It is a fundamental principle of the universe that stained trousers only become apparent at the precise moment you are leaving the house for an appointment/event.

Spaghetti Bolognese

The sign of a quality spaghetti bolognese is a sauce spattered shirt and face after eating it.

Monday Morning Advice

Go on, have a nap; you know you want to!

Advice To The Middle Aged

Don't shroud yourself in a self constructed shell of your own disappointment with your life.

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

When you feel you are about to throw up, please vacate the duvet on our bed (especially when we are still sleeping underneath it).

New Year's Resolutions

New Year's resolutions are a thoroughly pointless exercise and an utter waste of time!

2015

A happy, healthy, peaceful and prosperous 2015 to everyone!

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas and a peaceful and prosperous 2015!

Two Years

Whenever a politician or businessman says something will take two years to solve, be assured that he/she is lying. What he/she really means is that he/she has absolutely no clue as to whether the problem can be solved or how long it will take to solve.

Garlic

Today is a two cloves of garlic day for breakfast!

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

It is rude, and not ladylike, to fart in my face at 4am when I am in bed trying to sleep.

Wounded Bears

Beware a wounded bear, it will strike you back.