Ongoing Advice To My Cat and Her Friends

I am trying to work, please could you conduct your shenanigans outside of the house!

Flat Leaf Parsley

A pox upon flat leaf parsley, it neither has the flavour nor the longevity of curly leaf parsley.

I forbid you to use it!

Advice To Luvvies

Stick to acting, and keep your noses out of real world issues such as taxation.

Smoking

Smoking allegedly knocks a few years off of your life.

However, those years are at the tail end crappy part of your life. Hence, it is nothing to worry about!

Broken Clocks

Broken clocks are right twice a day.

Thus even the dimmest, most annoying individual can occasionally be correct.

Compromise

A compromise is not a compromise if the "compromise" agreed does not resolve the differences between the parties involved, but instead gives them freedom to continue to pursue their own individual opposing agendas.

Happy Lunar New Year

A very Happy Lunar New Year!

Today marks the year of the sheep or goat or even ram (depending on your translation).

The Chinese word yáng refers both to goats and sheep, with shānyáng specifically goats and miányáng sheep. In English, the sign may be called either. The interpretation of sheep or goat depends on culture.In Vietnamese, the sign is mui, which is unambiguously goat. In Japan, on the other hand, the sign is hitsuji, sheep; while in Korea and Mongolia the sign is also sheep or ram.

The sheep is an auspicious animal, and the Year of the Sheep, therefore, heralds a year of promise and prosperity.

吉慶有餘 Jíqìngyǒuyú - "May your happiness be without limit"

Dead Flies

A room looks so much tidier when a dead fly that has lain undisturbed for a year or so is removed.

Happy Pancake Day

Happy pancake day!

Happy Friday 13th

Quarrels

Quarrels must be buried when the quarrellers are yoked together to the plough.

Mules

Beware mules who pose as men with principles.

Question For My Walls

Why the hell do you make it so difficult for us to hang pictures on you?

Snow

One flake of snow and the UK goes into doomwatch mode!

Proxy Wars

Proxy wars are all very well in theory, if the side that you are funding/supplying and training is:

- competent
- trustworthy
- reliable
- not fanatical
- likely to win etc.

However, as is most often the case, those that are the proxies are never any of the above.

Kudos To My Cat

Kudos to my cat for vomiting her food back into her bowl, thus ensuring that there was no mess on the floor and enabling her to eat it later.

Rocks and Hard Places

When caught between a rock and a hard place, pick the rock up and bash the crap out of the hard place.

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

You will get piles if you keep pressing your bottom against the radiator.

Advice To My Never Ending Cold

Begone of your own free will, lest I take extreme measures and smite you with extreme prejudice!

Humans

Humans will always react to a situation in a human way (ie unpredictably). The reaction of animals is far easier to predict and manage.