Friday, November 20, 2009

"Congratulations" 

"Congratulations" to the newly unelected, unknown appointees of the EU non positions of "President" and "Foreign Minister"; they have proven what knew all along, namely that the EU is a costly, bureaucratic, undemocratic waste of space.

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Thursday, November 19, 2009

Zero Sum Games 

Zero sum games are no longer a valid means of conflict resolution.

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Wednesday, November 18, 2009

The Rules of The Game 

He who makes the rules, controls the game.

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Tuesday, November 17, 2009

A Question For Gordon Brown 

Protecting this country from terrorist attack by fighting in Afghanistan may, or may not, "improve" our security.

However, other countries in the Middle East and Pakistan have a far greater connection to terrorism (eg via funding, supplying arms and training) than Afghanistan.

Are you sure our efforts are being focused in the correct area?

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Monday, November 16, 2009

Ongoing Advice To My Cat 

Holding impromptu races with your cat friend from next door, at 1:30AM in our bedroom, is a tad disruptive to our sleep.

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Friday, November 13, 2009

Circumstances 

Whilst it is not always possible to control the circumstances one finds oneself in, one should at least try to control the reaction to those circumstances.

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Thursday, November 12, 2009

Advice To Lottery Winners 

Don't let the media identify you, you will end up spending the rest of your life receiving begging letters and hate mail.

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Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Success 

Success is sometimes harder than failure. However, the money is usually better.

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Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Advice To Electricshopping.com 

Update your website to show what products are really in stock, and which aren't; that way your customers won't waste time and money paying for products that you can't deliver until after Christmas.

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Monday, November 09, 2009

The State 

The state has become the enemy of the people.

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Friday, November 06, 2009

Advice To Tony Blair II 

As predicted, Brown's support for you has all but doomed your chances of becoming President of Europe.

Maybe that was his intention?

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Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Advice To LA Fitness Brighton 

1 Buy some more towels, or

2 Find a more professional laundry service, or

3 Buy a washing machine and launder the towels yourselves.

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Elections 

Question: When is an election not an election?

Answer: When it is held in Afghanistan and the other contender pulls out.

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Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Question To LA Fitness Brighton 

What is the point of being a member of your club if the pool and spa are closed and, on top of that, you have no towels?

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Monday, November 02, 2009

Question To The Gnomes Running The EU 

How can you appoint a President of Europe without asking the people of Europe who they want to be their president?

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Friday, October 30, 2009

Advice To LA Fitness Brighton 

Remember to turn the sauna on each day folks, it works a little better when it is hot!

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Thursday, October 29, 2009

The Real World - Advice To Roger Gale MP 

On BBC Breakfast yesterday Roger Gale MP, repeated calls for Sir Christopher Kelly to publish his report, now it has been leaked, saying that he could not comment as he did not know what Sir Christopher was recommending.

He then added: "I've heard one comment, which I think is absolutely ludicrous, to the effect that apparently somebody living an hour's train ride from London will not be allowed to have a base in London.

Now, that doesn't affect me, but it will affect quite a lot of people, and I just don't believe that Kelly lives in the real world, I don't think he knows what kind of hours we work or what kind of job we do. We've tried to tell him, but he doesn't appear to have listened
."

Maybe perfectly true Mr Gale, wrt hours of work etc.

However, many real world voters have to spend many miserable hours each day commuting using a decaying transport system. They will not give one jot about your "hours of work", but will question whether you live in the "real world" wrt your comment about needing base in London for a train ride of one hour.

The voters will conclude that it is you who does not live in "real world".

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Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Advice To Tony Blair 

Don't let Brown canvass for you, if you really do want to become El Presidente of Europe; it will be the kiss of death to your campaign.

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Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Etiquette 

Those who claim to posses a thorough knowledge of etiquette are not necessarily well mannered, pleasant or good company.

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Monday, October 26, 2009

Ongoing Advice To My Cat 

Why are you allowing a fat cat to come in and eat your food?

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Friday, October 23, 2009

The Mysteries of The PC 

Why, when turning off your pc do you have to click the "start" icon?

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Thursday, October 22, 2009

Advice To Jurors 

Don't convict someone based on what the bible "tells you" to do.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Advice To Weather Balloon Owners III 

Don't involve your children in your publicity stunts.

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Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Advice To Weather Balloon Owners II 

Tether your balloon securely.

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Monday, October 19, 2009

Advice To Weather Balloon Owners 

Check where all your kids are before launching your balloon.

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Friday, October 16, 2009

Life 

Human beings are not meant to wither, grow old and become feeble.

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Thursday, October 15, 2009

The Meaning of Life 

The fundamental point about life is that sometimes one needs to be "human", act like a fool occasionally and blow off steam once in while; being silly and "human" is the meaning of life.

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Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Ongoing Advice To My Cat 

Don't make yourself too much at home on the guest bed, it is used intermittently by humans.

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Monday, October 12, 2009

Green Shoots 

Green shoots can also be weeds.

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Friday, October 09, 2009

Self-righteousness 

Beware individuals and countries that believe that they have a monopoly on self-righteousness.

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