Advice To "Models"

Don't fake your own poisoning just to get your boobs published in The Sun!

Reciprocity

Reciprocity is the name of the game in geopolitics, if you don't do that you will get diddly-squat!

Advice To The United States

You can be at peace with a country that has nuclear weapons, but if you choose to be at war with that country the chances are you will both end up having to use your nukes!

Use the peace to negotiate nuclear and conventional arms reductions.

Advice To Potential Assassins

You will have to aim your bicycle locks more precisely next time!

A large, heavy, metal, d shaped bike lock just fell from the upper promenade to the lower promenade within inches of where I am sitting. As ones observer noted if it had hit my head i would have been killed! Stiff upper lip, I wasn't ☺

— Ken Frost (@ken_frost) September 16, 2018

Bowel Movements

I cannot overemphasise the health benefits of a daily effective bowel movement, it sets you up for the day.

Indeed, the benefits are multiplied many fold if the bowel movement occurs when seated upon the toilet!

Printers

Why do printers take so long to clear their throats before spewing forth what you have asked them to print?

Hurricanes - Definition

Tremendously big and tremendously wet!

Flattery

When dealing with certain individuals, flattery is far more effective at persuading them to take a certain course of action than threats and bluster.

When dealing with certain types of Presidents, flattery should be laid on with a trowel!

Europe's Lurch To The Right

Europe's lurch to the right is a symptom of the fact that voters feel alienated, afraid and have given up on the mainstream parties.

The solution?

The mainstream parties need to promote competent people who have principles, charisma, a sense ethics and who actually listen to the voters and engage with them (even if that means disagreeing with them).

Oh, and by the way, promising voters the moon really doesn't work anymore!

Advice To Presidents

It is perfectly correct, and indeed advisable, to ask searching questions of those around you.

However, it is highly advisable that you listen to the answers!

Advice To Virgin Media

Given the fact that you are in the business of "ultrafast communications" may I suggest that you sort out your "helplines"?

I waited 45 minutes to talk to someone only to be cut off mid "help" session, I then had to wait another 45 minutes to get through again!

I know that I am not alone in having to endure this shambles, a cursory glance at the comments on your "help forum" proves this is a widespread issue.

Merchant Navy Day 3 September 2018

 

Yesterday was Merchant Navy Day.

Merchant Navy Day on 3rd September has honoured the brave men and women who kept our 'island nation' afloat during both World Wars, and celebrated our dependence on modern day merchant seafarers who are responsible for 95% of the UK's imports, including half the food we eat, plenty of the fuel we burn and virtually all the products and goods we take for granted!

Above are two photos; one of my granddad (shown wounded foreground after his Royal Navy ship -  HMS Goliath - was shelled on 28 November 1914 off Dares-Salaam) who went on to serve in the Merchant Navy convoys in both wars, and my dad who served in the Merchant Navy convoys in the second world war then continued to serve in the Merchant Navy until the 1970's.