Friday, July 17, 2009
Advice To Restaurants
If you are foolish enough to run out of brandy, go to the nearest shop and buy a bottle.
Labels: restaurants
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Unnecessary Products of The 21st Century
Bottled water.
Labels: unnecessary, water
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Question To Environmentalists
At what point was our climate ever fixed?
Labels: weather
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Unnecessary Products of The 21st Century
Anti chaffing cream.
Labels: unnecessary
Monday, July 13, 2009
Advice To The Media
Check the facts first, before blindly accepting "information" provided to you by state agencies.
Friday, July 10, 2009
Advice To Catholics
Don't pray to cut down trees that vaguely "resemble" the Virgin Mary, you really don't do the religion any favours.
Labels: religion
Thursday, July 09, 2009
Afghanistan
Why exactly are we in afghanistan, and what constitutes a "victory" whereby our troops can come home?
Labels: Afghanistan, war
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
Rain
Why do the heavens always open and gush forth a biblical torrent everytime I say the magic phrase:
"Maybe I could do a barbecue this evening"?
"Maybe I could do a barbecue this evening"?
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
Advice To Leisure Club Members
Chairs are for humans to sit on, not inanimate objects such as water bottles, swimming goggles and towels.
Monday, July 06, 2009
Saying Sorry
The British sometimes say "sorry" when they actually mean:
- "You clumsy twat!"
- "Please get out of my way!"
- "You clumsy twat!"
- "Please get out of my way!"
Friday, July 03, 2009
Principles
Once "principles" are ditched, diplomacy and commonsense can raise their heads and real progress can be made.
Labels: diplomats
Thursday, July 02, 2009
Further Advice To My Cat
Our bed is not a trampoline!
Labels: cats
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
Advice To My Cat
My PC keyboard does not work effectively if you sit on it when I am typing.
Labels: cats
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Advice To The Media
Don't embellish your stories to make them into what you want them to be; instead try, for once, to stick to the facts.
Labels: journalists, media
Monday, June 29, 2009
Advice To Ed Balls
Merging a failing school with a good school will not rise standards in the failing school, but will lower standards in the good school.
Labels: education, politicians
Friday, June 26, 2009
Advice To The Media
Don't create false stories, especially in times of international tension.
Labels: media
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Pressure
Those who apply only pressure and more pressure, without giving the person or country on which they apply the pressure any kind of alternative, will end up with a nasty fight/war on their hands.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
The Role of The State
It's not the role of the state to try to make you feel comfortable in your own skin, or good about yourself.
Labels: state
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Darkness
The darkness of the night is nothing compared to darkness of some people's souls.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Humanity
Humans are good at monaing about life. However, they are not good at taking responsibility for leading change to improve their lives.
Labels: humanity
Friday, June 19, 2009
Advice To Statesmen
Beware "guarantees" given to you in the peace, safety and tranquility of a presidential garden.
Labels: politics
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Smears
Organs of the state should avoid spreading unfounded smears and allegations against others, lest they come back at you.
Labels: politics
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Cats
A watched cat never pounces.
Labels: cats
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Mandelson of Foie Gras
Why, if we are now to have "ethical/honest" government, has Gordon Brown made Mandelson "queen of the castle"?
Labels: gordon brown, politics
Monday, June 15, 2009
Lord Mandelson of Foie Gras
Congratulations to Lord Mandelson of Foie Gras on his elevation, in all but name, to Prime Minister and Lord Protector of England!
Labels: gordon brown, politics, prime ministers
Friday, June 12, 2009
Great Con Tricks of The 21st Century
Leisure club membership agreements that lock you in for a year or more, even if you want to leave the club before they expire.
Labels: Great Lies
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Faith Based Policy
Faith based policy does not work.
Labels: faith
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Advice To Labour MPs
Gordon Brown is psychologically incapable of changing.
Labels: gordon brown, politicians
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
Advice To Gordon Brown
Don't be too overjoyed at not being "dethroned" by your party.
Your party have effectively "tied you to the ship's wheel" of the Labour Party, so that you will go down down with the sinking ship and they have you to blame afterwards.
Your party have effectively "tied you to the ship's wheel" of the Labour Party, so that you will go down down with the sinking ship and they have you to blame afterwards.
Labels: gordon brown, labour, politics
Monday, June 08, 2009
Politicians
Do politicians hate the voters as much as the voters hate the politicians?
Labels: politicians
