Title

Ken's Blue Blog
Musings on "the bleedin' obvious"; views on the meaning of life, or anything else that takes my fancy.

Monday, July 22, 2019

Monday Morning


This Monday morning feels particular sluggish and slow to start, thanks mainly to the two street parties I attended over the weekend!

Friday, July 19, 2019

Today I Am


Today I mainly:

Residing in the windmills of my mind!

Thursday, July 18, 2019

Wednesday, July 17, 2019

The Solution To Parking Problems In London


Are you fed up with the cost and difficulty of parking your car in Central London?

The solution is simple.

Don't drive, come by boat and leave the boat wherever you fucking want.

The police won't impound it, nor will they fine you.

In fact the Mayor of London will give you a free pass.

Simples!

Tuesday, July 16, 2019

Irony - The Stupidity of People

It is more than ironic that during the 1980's, the left and various other idiots vilified Reagan as a warmongering right wing zealot.

Here we are in 2019.

Don't those idiots look stupid now!

Monday, July 15, 2019

A Very Dangerous Administration

It beggars belief that an American president tweets that non white American born citizens (ie Americans) should go back to their own countries.

They are already in their own country!

It beggars further belief that this Administration is enabled by so called "Christians"!

Friday, July 12, 2019

Waste Baskets


It is an immutable law of the universe that waste baskets fill up.

It is also an immutable law that someone in the household has to then empty them....the question is who and when?

Thursday, July 11, 2019

Today I Am..


Today I am mainly contemplating:
 
Bovril on toast

Wednesday, July 10, 2019

Advice To Virgin Media


FIX THE ONGOING BROADBAND SERVICE ISSUES IN MY AREA!

Tuesday, July 09, 2019

Monday, July 08, 2019

Advice To Mark Dubowitz


Think before you speak!

Friday, July 05, 2019

The Gravy Train


Many people often talk of their desire to ride the gravy train.

All very well and good, maybe. However, I have yet to hear anyone specify the flavour of the gravy or whether they want said gravy on the side or slopping around on the plate.

Not so smart now, are we?

Come on people, before boarding the gravy train you have to decide what flavour of gravy and where you want it poured!

Thursday, July 04, 2019

Happy 4th of July


A very happy and peaceful Independence Day to all my American chums!

Wednesday, July 03, 2019

Advice To Sainsbury's


When substituting items on a home delivery, please note that turmeric is no substitute for saffron!

Tuesday, July 02, 2019

Ricky Gervais Nails It

Binary thinking and binary choices lead to extremism.

Monday, July 01, 2019

Counter-Intuitive Thinking


Sometimes you need a thaw in thinking, in order to move forward to a freeze!

Friday, June 28, 2019

The Joys of Swedish Military Soup






Swedish Military Soup, when mixed with tinned carrots, makes a most efficacious post pub snack!

Thursday, June 27, 2019

Today I Am


Today I am mainly being:


Fascinating

Wednesday, June 26, 2019

Advice To The Prince of Wales



Homeopathy is bollocks, don't tarnish the brand of the monarchy by endorsing such nonsense!

Tuesday, June 25, 2019

Trump Sanctions Dead Guy - Oops!

Monday, June 24, 2019

The Laws of Physics vs The Laws of Man


The laws of physics are immutable, the laws of man are not.

The EU and Brexit naysayers should take note!

Friday, June 21, 2019

Glad Midsommar - #Midsummer



I would like to wish all my Swedish chums a very very Glad Midsommar!

Thursday, June 20, 2019

Wednesday, June 19, 2019

Advice To The BBC


The next time you invite "members of the public" to ask a question of politicians on live TV, make sure they are not extremist Anti-Semite misogynists with their own political agenda!

Oh, and by the way, you need to farking apologise to the viewers over giving that bigot a platform last night!

Tuesday, June 18, 2019

Today I Am..


Today I am mainly acting and interacting with a generous measure of:

Élan

Monday, June 17, 2019

Summer Has Arrived in Britain


Summer has finally arrived in Britain, as the rain is definitely warmer!

Friday, June 14, 2019

Advice To KichenAid


There is little point in offering an online product registration service, if your captcha (check I am human) refuses to let me register the product!

To confirm:

1 I am human
2 I am neither senile nor blind, and have entered the correct captcha!

Thursday, June 13, 2019

Wednesday, June 12, 2019

Bovril On Toast


Bovril on generously buttered toast is a most efficacious mid morning snack!

Tuesday, June 11, 2019

The Solution To Free TV Licences for The Over 75's


There is a simple solution to the furore over the abolition of free TV licences for the over 75's.

ABOLISH THE LICENCE FEE, IT IS AN ABSURD ANACHRONISM IN THE DIGITAL AGE!

Monday, June 10, 2019

Today's Weather


The ongoing shite weather continues to peeve me!

Friday, June 07, 2019

Today's Weather


I pronounce today's weather to be utterly crap!

Thursday, June 06, 2019

D-Day 6 June 1944 - The Longest Day #DDay75thAnniversary



Many men came here as soldiers 
Many men will pass this way 
Many men will count the hours 
As they live the longest day
Many men are tired and weary 
Many men are here to stay 
Many men won't see the sunset 
When it ends the longest day
The longest day, the longest day 
This will be the longest day 
Filled with hopes and filled with fears 
Filled with blood and sweat and tears
Many men, the mighty thousands 
Many men to victory 
Marching on, right into battle 
In the longest day in history

Freedom is hard won, but easily lost.

Do not forget the sacrifice made 75 years ago by young men and women, who fought and died for the freedom that we take for granted today!

Wednesday, June 05, 2019

Advice To Anti Trump Protesters

Be careful that your visceral hatred doesn't turn you into the thing that you are protesting about!

Tuesday, June 04, 2019

The Dead Shall Be Raised - Kim Hyok Chol Rises From The Grave!


Colour me surprised!


It would seem that reports that Kim Hyok Chol was dead were either:

1 Bollocks, or

2 Accurate, but subsequently North Korea has managed to resurrect Kim from his grave .

Given that the media would have to admit they were wrong, I can only assume that they will go with scenario 2.

I look forward to reading the report of Kim's resurrection in tomorrow's Guardian (always a source of accurate and reliable reporting on matters North Korean!).

Monday, June 03, 2019

Life


Life is like pastry, it shouldn't be overworked!

Wednesday, May 29, 2019

Hardliners


Hardliners and zealots who choose to count and argue about angels on pinheads would do well to remember that other organisations and countries, whom they choose to "argue" with, also have their own hardliners and zealots who count angels on pinheads.

Tuesday, May 28, 2019

The Bank Holiday Displacement Theorem


Bank holidays cause disruption to the body and mind, today feels very much like Monday!

Thursday, May 23, 2019

Advice To LinkedIn Contacts Who I Have Never Met


When spamming my inbox with sales pitches for your services that I am not interested in (nor did I ask for), don't sign off with your name followed by an "X"!

Wednesday, May 22, 2019

Advice To Liars


Don't use my name in the concoction of your web of lies.

You will be found out, and I will not be amused!

Tuesday, May 21, 2019

A Sign Of Age - Eggs and Milkshakes


I am so old that I remember a time when Ted Heath was egged, people didn't panic and assume it was the end of democracy as we knew it.

More to the point, people simply and calmly observed that the egg thrower was immature and rather silly to have done that!

Monday, May 20, 2019

Monday Conundrum

Friday, May 17, 2019

The Friday Song



All together now...

One banana two banana three banana four
Four bananas make a bunch and so do many more
Over hill and highway the banana buggy’s go
Comin’ on to bring you the Banana Splits Show
Making up a mess of fun,
Making up a mess of fun
Lots of fun for every one
Tra la la la la la la tra la la la la la la
Tra la la la la la la tra la la la la la la
Four banana three banana two banana one
All the bananas playin in the bright yellow sun
Flippin like a pancake, poppin like a cork
Fleagle, Bingo, Drooper and Snork
Making up a mess of fun
Making up a mess of fun
Lots of fun for every one
Tra la la la la la la tra la la la la la la
Tra la la la la la la tra la la la la la la
Two banana, four banana, one banana, three
Swingin like a bunch of monkeys hangin from a tree
Hey there everybody won’t you come along and see
How much like banana splits everyone can be.
Making up a mess of fun
Making up a mess of fun
Lots of fun for every one
Tra la la la la la la tra la la la la la la
Tra la la la la la la tra la la la la la la
Tra la la la la la la tra la la la la la la
Tra la la la la la la tra la la la la la la

Thursday, May 16, 2019

Tomorrow


Tomorrow is promised to no one, therefore don't sit on your arse waiting for something to happen that may in fact never happen!

Wednesday, May 15, 2019

Advice To PayPal


When handling your customers' disputes with suppliers, please ensure a human being actually reads and answers your customers' emails; as your bots are shit, and are seriously pissing your customers off!

Tuesday, May 14, 2019

Advice To Government Agencies

via GIPHY


Tankers that are laden with oil sit lower in the water than empty tankers, please bear this in mind when conducting your next false flag "blow a hole in a tanker" operation!

Monday, May 13, 2019

The Wind


The wind is most keenly felt in the dark!

Friday, May 10, 2019

Today I Am


Today I am mainly:

Sucking on a lemon!

Tuesday, May 07, 2019

Team


There is no "I" in "team", hence the fact I never use the word!

Friday, May 03, 2019

Shadows


Don't fear what is in the shadows, fear the person that casts the shadows!

Thursday, May 02, 2019

Wednesday, May 01, 2019

Bloody Marys


Drinking Bloody Marys is an effective means of getting both booze and food into your system at the same time.

Tuesday, April 30, 2019

Meetings


Always end your meetings on a high!

Friday, April 26, 2019

Plans


Plans are excellent, until you try to execute them!

Thursday, April 25, 2019

Wednesday, April 24, 2019

Basking In False Hope


Allow a man a few hours to bask in the sunshine of false hope, and come the night he will have a far better appreciation of the hopelessness of his situation.

Friday, April 19, 2019

Question For Emma Thompson


How many air miles did you rack up in first class, to attend the eco demonstration?

Thursday, April 18, 2019

Advice To ISPs


Using the word "hope", in a message about repairing my crashed broadband service does not fill me with "hope"!

Friday, April 12, 2019

Advice To Wannabe Embassy Sanctuary Seekers


Don't smear the interior walls of the embassy with faeces!

Thursday, April 11, 2019

Hope


When anyone uses the "hope" in a sentence relating to a possible future outcome, event, plan etc it means they know fuck all about what will happen.