Title

Ken's Blue Blog
Musings on "the bleedin' obvious"; views on the meaning of life, or anything else that takes my fancy.

Thursday, May 23, 2019

Advice To LinkedIn Contacts Who I Have Never Met


When spamming my inbox with sales pitches for your services that I am not interested in (nor did I ask for), don't sign off with your name followed by an "X"!

Wednesday, May 22, 2019

Advice To Liars


Don't use my name in the concoction of your web of lies.

You will be found out, and I will not be amused!

Tuesday, May 21, 2019

A Sign Of Age - Eggs and Milkshakes


I am so old that I remember a time when Ted Heath was egged, people didn't panic and assume it was the end of democracy as we knew it.

More to the point, people simply and calmly observed that the egg thrower was immature and rather silly to have done that!

Monday, May 20, 2019

Monday Conundrum

Friday, May 17, 2019

The Friday Song



All together now...

One banana two banana three banana four
Four bananas make a bunch and so do many more
Over hill and highway the banana buggy’s go
Comin’ on to bring you the Banana Splits Show
Making up a mess of fun,
Making up a mess of fun
Lots of fun for every one
Tra la la la la la la tra la la la la la la
Tra la la la la la la tra la la la la la la
Four banana three banana two banana one
All the bananas playin in the bright yellow sun
Flippin like a pancake, poppin like a cork
Fleagle, Bingo, Drooper and Snork
Making up a mess of fun
Making up a mess of fun
Lots of fun for every one
Tra la la la la la la tra la la la la la la
Tra la la la la la la tra la la la la la la
Two banana, four banana, one banana, three
Swingin like a bunch of monkeys hangin from a tree
Hey there everybody won’t you come along and see
How much like banana splits everyone can be.
Making up a mess of fun
Making up a mess of fun
Lots of fun for every one
Tra la la la la la la tra la la la la la la
Tra la la la la la la tra la la la la la la
Tra la la la la la la tra la la la la la la
Tra la la la la la la tra la la la la la la

Thursday, May 16, 2019

Tomorrow


Tomorrow is promised to no one, therefore don't sit on your arse waiting for something to happen that may in fact never happen!

Wednesday, May 15, 2019

Advice To PayPal


When handling your customers' disputes with suppliers, please ensure a human being actually reads and answers your customers' emails; as your bots are shit, and are seriously pissing your customers off!

Tuesday, May 14, 2019

Advice To Government Agencies

via GIPHY


Tankers that are laden with oil sit lower in the water than empty tankers, please bear this in mind when conducting your next false flag "blow a hole in a tanker" operation!

Monday, May 13, 2019

The Wind


The wind is most keenly felt in the dark!

Friday, May 10, 2019

Today I Am


Today I am mainly:

Sucking on a lemon!

Tuesday, May 07, 2019

Team


There is no "I" in "team", hence the fact I never use the word!

Friday, May 03, 2019

Shadows


Don't fear what is in the shadows, fear the person that casts the shadows!

Thursday, May 02, 2019

Wednesday, May 01, 2019

Bloody Marys


Drinking Bloody Marys is an effective means of getting both booze and food into your system at the same time.

Tuesday, April 30, 2019

Meetings


Always end your meetings on a high!

Friday, April 26, 2019

Plans


Plans are excellent, until you try to execute them!

Thursday, April 25, 2019

Wednesday, April 24, 2019

Basking In False Hope


Allow a man a few hours to bask in the sunshine of false hope, and come the night he will have a far better appreciation of the hopelessness of his situation.

Friday, April 19, 2019

Question For Emma Thompson


How many air miles did you rack up in first class, to attend the eco demonstration?

Thursday, April 18, 2019

Advice To ISPs


Using the word "hope", in a message about repairing my crashed broadband service does not fill me with "hope"!

Friday, April 12, 2019

Advice To Wannabe Embassy Sanctuary Seekers


Don't smear the interior walls of the embassy with faeces!

Thursday, April 11, 2019

Hope


When anyone uses the "hope" in a sentence relating to a possible future outcome, event, plan etc it means they know fuck all about what will happen.

Tuesday, April 09, 2019

Politics


I have never seen politics, the political system and for that matter the country's MPs in such a dismal and sorry state.

Beware that this sickness does not infect the rest of the country, or its people!

Friday, April 05, 2019

Kimchi


A spoonful of Kimchi for breakfast is a most efficacious way to start the day!

Thursday, April 04, 2019

Today's Weather


In honour of today's hail and other assorted shitty weather, I am sucking a lemon!

Wednesday, April 03, 2019

Handing Control To Others


Handing control to others, so that you can blame them when they screw it up, is not the act of a courageous leader!

Tuesday, April 02, 2019

Dithering Ends In Failure


Leaders who dither and procrastinate, always end up in the shit and usually take others with them.

Monday, April 01, 2019

April Fools - #AprilFools


Given the absurdity of what is happening in the world, and the clowns we have in government, the concept of April Fools Day this year is somewhat passé!

Friday, March 29, 2019

Thursday, March 28, 2019

FACT ALERT!


Westminster is inhabited by self serving, narcissistic clowns who are destroying the country!

Wednesday, March 27, 2019

Tuesday, March 26, 2019

Monday, March 25, 2019

Shenanigans Alert!


I foresee lots of shenanigans this week.

You have been warned!

Friday, March 22, 2019

Thursday, March 21, 2019

Advice To Prime Ministers


When making an "Address To The Nation", don't squander the opportunity by blaming the failure of your deal on those in Westminster who you want to vote for your deal!

Wednesday, March 20, 2019

Tuesday, March 19, 2019

Advice To Politicians Re Game Theory



Applying game theory when considering how to vote on something might be all well and good in a school debating society. However, in the real world, real people have real lives that they are trying to their best to manage under very trying circumstances.

When politicians apply game theory to important votes (instead of applying their conscience/beliefs) it fucks with real people's lives.

If you can't vote without playing games, then it is better you never vote at all!

Monday, March 18, 2019

Negotiations


In order to achieve the best possible outcome in negotiations, it is necessary for the parties involved not to know on whose side they are negotiating!

Friday, March 15, 2019

Portents


The sun may well be shining, but be aware that the ice is still slippery!

Tuesday, March 12, 2019

Politicians


I am rather sick to death of politicians now!

Monday, March 11, 2019

Monday Morning


A March Monday morning is accompanied by the icy gusts from Storm Gareth, and another week of Brexit shenanigans.

Oh what a time to be alive!

Thursday, March 07, 2019

Wednesday, March 06, 2019

Monday, March 04, 2019

Hammers


Everything looks like a nail to a hammer!

Friday, March 01, 2019

The Beating of a Butterfly's Wings...


The beating of a butterfly's wings can cause hurricanes, if the circumstances are right.


Thursday, February 28, 2019

Kudos To South Korea


Kudos to South Korea for making the most honest statement I have ever heard from a country in many years, wrt the Hanoi debacle, in which they basically said they didn't know what the fuck had just happened and were going to ask the Americans.

That very brief statement, apart from being remarkably honest, contains a hell of a lot of meat!

Tuesday, February 26, 2019

The Toad of Truth



In order to achieve an understanding and oneness with the universe and life you need to ask, and answer, the following question:

Where squatteth the Toad of Truth?


Monday, February 25, 2019

The Joy of Alcohol


When you are feeling happy, have a drink to celebrate,

When you are feeling sad, have a drink to cheer yourself up,

When you are feeling bored, have a drink to make something happen!

Friday, February 22, 2019

Wednesday, February 20, 2019

Deadlines

Deadlines focus minds, without deadlines things would never get done!