Ken's Blue Blog
Musings on "the bleedin' obvious"; views on the meaning of life, or anything else that takes my fancy.

Thursday, August 31, 2017

Soft Cop vs Hard Cop

The soft cop vs hard cop routine only works if both the soft and hard cop are aware of their roles and had coordinated them beforehand.

Wednesday, August 30, 2017

A Watched Inbox Never Pings

True as it was for kettles boiling, so it is also true for email and text inboxes; watch them and they will never ping!

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

Always Check Your Red Stripe Cans For Wasps!

During this unexpected warm spell, I cannot emphasise too much the necessity of checking your Red Stripe cans for wasps!

Friday, August 25, 2017

Happy Bank Holiday Weekend!

Enjoy the Bank Holiday weekend everyone, and the unusually pleasant (non raining) weather!

Thursday, August 24, 2017

Advice To White Goods Retailers

Don't call me up after I have placed the order online to try to sell me insurance etc.

Had I wanted insurance I would have ordered it with the product, and had I wanted to talk to a salesman I would have ordered the product by phone!

Wednesday, August 23, 2017

Advice To Microsoft

Stop sending updates to my phone that don't work, screw the memory and performance up and force me to reset it!

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

Up and Atom!

Come on everyone, get off your backsides and tackle the day head on.

No procrastination!

Monday, August 21, 2017

Advice To The US Navy

Post lookouts who can actually see, and install ship's wheels on your vessels!

Oh, and train your crew to use a fucking sextant. Don't rely on GPS!

Thursday, August 17, 2017

Advice To The President of The United States

You cannot run a country, nor manage foreign policy, on anger alone!

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

It's Too Quiet

Beware when two blunderbusses stop throwing public insults at each other.

Something's brewing!

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Absurd Leaders and Absurd Situations

Sometimes absurd situations require absurd leaders in order to resolve them!

Monday, August 14, 2017

Monday Morning Sunshine

Beware today's pleasant sunny Monday morning, the weather gods are lulling you into a false sense of security!

Friday, August 11, 2017

Advice To Drivers Re Speed Humps

When approaching a speed hump, always ensure that you accelerate in order to maximise your chances of knackering your suspension and wrecking your exhaust pipe!

Thursday, August 10, 2017

The Nirvana of Paranoia

The nirvana of paranoia can only be reached when to tell your shadow to walk in front of you.

Wednesday, August 09, 2017

Wouldn't It Be Nice?

Wouldn't it be nice if one day the world could wake up to news headlines that do not include threats of destruction and annihilation made by one country's leader to another?

Tuesday, August 08, 2017

Threats As A Precursor To Negotiations

Threats, sanctions and sabre rattling are all well and good as a precursor to negotiations, maybe. However, negotiations will never commence without there being an "off ramp" from the threats!

Monday, August 07, 2017

Friday, August 04, 2017


Popularity is the hallmark of mediocrity.

Thursday, August 03, 2017

Summer 2017 - A Damp Squid

This summer is turning into a really large damp squid!

However, it is unwise to place the expectation of sunshine during summer onto a pedal stool.

Wednesday, August 02, 2017

Advice Re Shoes

Always, always check your shoes for venomous insects, reptiles and other assorted creatures before putting them on.

I cannot emphasise that enough!

Tuesday, August 01, 2017

Happy Yorkshire Day!

A very Happy Yorkshire Day to my chums from "God's own county"!