Title

Ken's Blue Blog
Musings on "the bleedin' obvious"; views on the meaning of life, or anything else that takes my fancy.

Monday, December 24, 2018

Merry Christmas


Friday, December 21, 2018

Facts vs Reality


Never let facts get in the way of your version of reality!

Thursday, December 20, 2018

Monday, December 17, 2018

The Pre Christmas Drinking Season Is Upon Us!


Closely followed by the Christmas, and post Christmas drinking seasons....

Friday, December 14, 2018

Leaders' Personalities

Organisations, countries and political parties tend to fall apart when the leader:

- dithers
- procrastinates
- is indecisive
- does not communicate with his/her colleagues
- does not tell others clearly what he/she wants
- backtracks

Thursday, December 13, 2018

Meanwhile, In Baghdad

Wednesday, December 12, 2018

Tuesday, December 11, 2018

Shenanigans


There are an awful lot of shenanigans going on in the world at the moment!

Monday, December 10, 2018

Today I Am Mainly...



Today I am mainly emulating my hair conditioner; namely I am being:

Smooth and Silky

Friday, December 07, 2018

Leaks Are Evil!

Leaks always mange to position themselves in the most awkward, unreachable part of the pipework.

Proof, if it were ever needed, that leaks are evil!

Thursday, December 06, 2018

Vlad Serves A Generous Portion of Pork Pie


Tuesday, December 04, 2018

Gordian Knots

Don't waste time by trying to untangle a Gordian knot, simply cut it and move on!

Monday, December 03, 2018

Monday Morning

Let's shift Monday morning to Tuesday!

Thursday, November 29, 2018

When Something Isn't Right...



When something isn't right..

FIX IT!

DON'T SIT ON YOUR ARSE WASTING TIME HOPING IT WILL RESOLVE ITSELF!

Wednesday, November 28, 2018

Dysfunctional Leaders

Dysfunctional leaders pass on their neuroses and dysfunctionalities to the people who they are leading.

Such individuals need to be removed from their positions of authority without delay.

Tuesday, November 27, 2018

Blood Red Christmas Trees? - NO! Really NO!

Monday, November 26, 2018

Advice To The Media

Your "love/hate" of, and addiction to, Trump will be your undoing!

He's playing you like a well tuned grand piano!

Thursday, November 22, 2018

Wednesday, November 21, 2018

Well Done Interpol!



I am glad that you took my advice, and didn't appoint the Russian!

Tuesday, November 20, 2018

Advice To Theresa May

Calling EU citizens who are legitimately residing and working in the UK "queue jumpers" was not your "finest hour"!

Monday, November 19, 2018

Advice To Interpol


Don't put a Russian in charge!

Thursday, November 15, 2018

Happy Beaujolais Nouveau Day!



Happy Beaujolais Nouveau Day everyone.

I, for one, will be downing a few bottles tonight!

Wednesday, November 14, 2018

Advice To The Prime Minister

Wasting two years on negotiating a "deal" that no one supports is not statesmanship.

Tuesday, November 13, 2018

Advice To Baraboo High School

Shut down your school and hang your heads in shame!

Monday, November 12, 2018

Monday Advice

Those of you who can't seem to function on Mondays should consider starting your weekend on Thursday and beginning the new week on Sunday; that way you will be bright eyed, bushy tailed and actually turn up to work on Monday!

Friday, November 09, 2018

Today I am Mainly Being...

Today I am mainly being:

A Great Moral Leader!

Thursday, November 08, 2018

Advice To HP

Change your "captcha" picture verification process for your printer set up.

I spent over twenty minutes this morning being forced to click never ending pictures of traffic lights, cars, buses and cycles before your Pro 6970 printer graciously allowed me to finalise the set up and use it!

Wednesday, November 07, 2018

Hobnobbing

Hobbing is fine, but I draw the line at nobbing!

Tuesday, November 06, 2018

Water

Water is cunning and patient, it will always find a way to get in to where it's not wanted!

Monday, November 05, 2018

Happy Guy Fawkes Night

Thursday, November 01, 2018

Advice To Personal Trainers

You should be less fat and more fit than the person you are training.

Tuesday, October 30, 2018

Advice To The Media

Stop reporting what Trump says and tweets, it will do you and the world a whole lot of good to ignore him for a bit!

Monday, October 29, 2018

Putting The Clocks Back

Putting the clocks back is such an utter waste of time, and it plays havoc with your biorhythms!

Thursday, October 25, 2018

Today I am Mainly Being...

Today I am mainly being...

The Oncoming Storm!

Wednesday, October 24, 2018

Advice To Government Departments

Saying that you "may or may not" have information on someone who may or may not still be employed by you doesn't really wash, if the internet shows many instances where that person was working for you!

Monday, October 22, 2018

Advice To Remainers

Comparing Brexit to the Holocaust is wrong on so many levels.

Just don't!

Friday, October 19, 2018

Playing For Time

Playing for time, and dithering over making a decision, in the hope the situation will magically rectify itself doesn't work in business or politics.

Those that dither end up being overcome by events.

Thursday, October 18, 2018

Advice To Theresa May


Dithering destroys lives!

Stop dithering, or step down!

Wednesday, October 17, 2018

Negotiations

Negotiations are best carried out shielded from the glare of the media and trouble makers.

Tuesday, October 16, 2018

Advice To Mohammed bin Salman bin Abdulaziz Al Saud (MBS)

Claiming the murder of Khashoggi was accidental, and brought about by a botched interrogation at the hands of unauthorised individuals, might have worked in the case of Thomas Ă  Becket.

However, this isn't the 12th Century and you aren't Henry II.

Happy Birthday Blue Peter

Monday, October 15, 2018

Negotiations

Negotiations tend to go to the wire.

However, if you keep moving the position of the wire you are in danger of achieving nothing that can be sold to others.

Friday, October 12, 2018

Thursday, October 11, 2018

Lists

A watched list never gets published!

Wednesday, October 10, 2018

Worry

Worrying about something that may, or may not happen, is usually more harmful than actually enduring that which you are worrying about.

Tuesday, October 09, 2018

#SnogGate

Can someone please tell me why #SnogGate is featuring on the BBC news?

Monday, October 08, 2018

Monday Gusto

Attack your Mondays as you mean to go on through the rest of the week, namely with:

GUSTO!

Friday, October 05, 2018

Advice To Shepherds

Don't publicly register your horse and cart details to your own flock!

Thursday, October 04, 2018

Troubled Bridges

Troubled bridges must always be crossed!

Wednesday, October 03, 2018

Words of Wisdom From Lord Ashcroft!

Ignore his advice at your peril!

Tuesday, October 02, 2018

Monday, October 01, 2018

The Internet Resembles The Wild West


Friday, September 28, 2018

British Judges vs American Judges



Whilst the British legal system, especially our judges, has been roundly mocked (and rightly so) by British satirists for centuries; I would not swap any part of it for the grotesque monster, and travesty of justice, that the Americans have created.

Let us be proud of our bonkers, eccentric, strangely dress judiciary; who do their best to dispense justice, in a calm and measured way, in a world that has lost sight of right and wrong!

Thursday, September 27, 2018

When You're Laughing, The Whole World Laughs With You...


Wednesday, September 26, 2018

Advice To Three UK Re Communications

 

You are a communications company, as a starting point I suggest that you resolve the communications barriers that exist between your Upgrade Department and your Complaints Department!

Tuesday, September 25, 2018

Spanning The Divide

When trying to span the divide, be careful you don't fall down the middle!

Monday, September 24, 2018

Friday, September 21, 2018

On This Day


On This Day

In This Place

At This Time

I am mainly being

INDOMITABLE

Thursday, September 20, 2018

Advice To "Models"

Don't fake your own poisoning just to get your boobs published in The Sun!

Wednesday, September 19, 2018

Reciprocity

Reciprocity is the name of the game in geopolitics, if you don't do that you will get diddly-squat!

Tuesday, September 18, 2018

Advice To The United States

You can be at peace with a country that has nuclear weapons, but if you choose to be at war with that country the chances are you will both end up having to use your nukes!

Use the peace to negotiate nuclear and conventional arms reductions.

Monday, September 17, 2018

Advice To Potential Assassins

You will have to aim your bicycle locks more precisely next time!

Friday, September 14, 2018

Bowel Movements

I cannot overemphasise the health benefits of a daily effective bowel movement, it sets you up for the day.

Indeed, the benefits are multiplied many fold if the bowel movement occurs when seated upon the toilet!

Thursday, September 13, 2018

Printers

Why do printers take so long to clear their throats before spewing forth what you have asked them to print?

Wednesday, September 12, 2018

Tuesday, September 11, 2018

Flattery

When dealing with certain individuals, flattery is far more effective at persuading them to take a certain course of action than threats and bluster.

When dealing with certain types of Presidents, flattery should be laid on with a trowel!

Monday, September 10, 2018

Europe's Lurch To The Right

Europe's lurch to the right is a symptom of the fact that voters feel alienated, afraid and have given up on the mainstream parties.

The solution?

The mainstream parties need to promote competent people who have principles, charisma, a sense ethics and who actually listen to the voters and engage with them (even if that means disagreeing with them).

Oh, and by the way, promising voters the moon really doesn't work anymore!

Thursday, September 06, 2018

Advice To Presidents

It is perfectly correct, and indeed advisable, to ask searching questions of those around you.

However, it is highly advisable that you listen to the answers!

Wednesday, September 05, 2018

Advice To Virgin Media



Given the fact that you are in the business of "ultrafast communications" may I suggest that you sort out your "helplines"?

I waited 45 minutes to talk to someone only to be cut off mid "help" session, I then had to wait another 45 minutes to get through again!

I know that I am not alone in having to endure this shambles, a cursory glance at the comments on your "help forum" proves this is a widespread issue.

Tuesday, September 04, 2018

Merchant Navy Day 3 September 2018

 


Yesterday was Merchant Navy Day.

Merchant Navy Day on 3rd September has honoured the brave men and women who kept our 'island nation' afloat during both World Wars, and celebrated our dependence on modern day merchant seafarers who are responsible for 95% of the UK's imports, including half the food we eat, plenty of the fuel we burn and virtually all the products and goods we take for granted!

Above are two photos; one of my granddad (shown wounded foreground after his Royal Navy ship -  HMS Goliath - was shelled on 28 November 1914 off Dares-Salaam) who went on to serve in the Merchant Navy convoys in both wars, and my dad who served in the Merchant Navy convoys in the second world war then continued to serve in the Merchant Navy until the 1970's.

Monday, September 03, 2018

Monday Morning Dawn Chorus

The week is gently ushered in by the sound of numerous police sirens in the city.

Ah bliss, another week starts!

Friday, August 31, 2018

Thursday, August 30, 2018

Question For The American People


You do realise that your president is off his rocker, don't you?

Wednesday, August 29, 2018

Sanctions



Sanctions do not bring a country or its leaders to "reason".

Instead they entrench attitudes, bring about a siege mentality and harm those least able to protect themselves (ie not the leadership of the regime being targeted).

In short, sanctions do not work!

Tuesday, August 28, 2018

America's North Korea Policy Explained

1 Contain North Korea 

2 Contain ROK 

3 Contain China, and finally 

4 Contain Trump 

Buckle up boys, it's going to get bumpy!

Friday, August 24, 2018

Thursday, August 23, 2018

Facebook Is Pissing Me Off

Dear Facebook

My posts are not spam, stop wasting my time by blocking them!

Wednesday, August 22, 2018

Tuesday, August 21, 2018

Advice To Cruise Liner Passengers



When "falling off" the back of a cruise liner, use your time in the water to think up a plausible explanation for you being in the water!

Monday, August 20, 2018

Truth

One man's "truth" is another man's "misunderstanding", especially if that "truth" is inconvenient!

Friday, August 17, 2018

Advice To Despots

When planning a military parade, do make sure you cost it first before telling all and sundry that you are going to hold one!

Thursday, August 16, 2018

Hmmm......

Not yet entirely convinced by this....

Wednesday, August 15, 2018

Advice To Seaside Public Toilet Contractors

It is advisable to have your facilities up and running to full capacity during the peak summer season!

Tuesday, August 14, 2018

Friday, August 10, 2018

Thursday, August 09, 2018

Weaponising The Dollar

Weaponising the Dollar is the most idiotic thing that the Americans have ever done, and my goodness me they certainly have done some stupid things.

It will bring about not only the demise of the Dollar as the global reserve currency of choice, but also the destruction of the American economy.

Tuesday, August 07, 2018

Advice To The Media and Human Beings re The Met Office

When the Met office says that the weather will be warmer than average up until October, please be aware of the following:

1 The Met office's forecasts are invariably wrong

2 "Warmer than average" does not mean heatwave!

Monday, August 06, 2018

Advice To President Nicolás Maduro


You might want to hire more professional/brave troops!

Friday, August 03, 2018

It's A Funny Old World!

It's a funny old world when the declining mental health (and associated verbal/twitter outbursts) of one man can set the entire world on edge!

Thursday, August 02, 2018

Wednesday, August 01, 2018

Happy #YorkshireDay



A very Happy Yorkshire Day to my chums from Yorkshire!

Tuesday, July 31, 2018

The New £5 and £10 Notes

The new "plastic" notes are springy and slippery, as such they are very prone to pop out of your pocket.

In order to lessen the risk of losing them, apply a small coating of glue to the notes; thus ensuring they will stick to the inside of your pocket and won't fall out.

Monday, July 30, 2018

Fear, Anger and Hatred

The negative emotions of fear, anger and hatred can spread like a virus through a community or country.

Leaders, politicians and media who use these emotions for their own ends, or act as conduits for these emotions, should bear in mind that they will be consumed by the consequences!

Friday, July 27, 2018

The 65th Anniversary of The Korean Armistice Agreement

Today is the 65th anniversary of the signing of the Korean Armistice Agreement.

As we are currently experiencing a rare period of relatively low level tensions, it would be in everyone's interests if the relevant parties in the region moved forward from an armistice to a full and complete peace treaty. 

Thursday, July 26, 2018

Today I Am Mainly..

Today I am mainly taking charge of the Brexit negotiations, whilst running through a field of wheat contemplating which recipe from my 150 cook books I will cook.

Wednesday, July 25, 2018

Today I Am Mainly..



Today I am mainly:

THINKING IN BLOCK CAPITALS!

Monday, July 23, 2018

Twitter Diplomacy

Twitter diplomacy is more effective when the "Caps Lock" button is off!

Thursday, July 19, 2018

Today I Am Mainly Saying

Today I am mainly saying:

No

As to what I am saying "No" to is subject to interpretation.

Wednesday, July 18, 2018

Tuesday, July 17, 2018

Advice To MPs

When you finally get round to voting yourselves a few extra days off, please don't bother coming back ever!

Monday, July 16, 2018

Monday Morning Motivation

Monday morning has crashed into our lives, and another week is upon us.

I urge you all to gird your loins, as it will be a roller-coaster ride!

Friday, July 13, 2018

Thursday, July 12, 2018

Trump's 4% NATO Demand


A 4% GDP contribution from every NATO member (a doubling of the current 2% target) seems akin to a wartime budget.

Does Trump know something that NATO doesn't, are we about to go to war?

Just saying!

Wednesday, July 11, 2018

Friday The 13th

Judging by the way the week is currently going, by the time Friday the 13th arrives we are going to be well and truly in it!

Friday, July 06, 2018

Today I Am Mainly...


Today I am mainly...

nodding sagely in response to my own wisdom.

Thursday, July 05, 2018

Weather Apps Are Bastards

Weather apps are bastards, they lull you into a false sense of security over good weather and scare the bejesus out of you re bad weather.

Yet, when push comes to shove, at the very last minute their predictions change dramatically.

Bastards!

Wednesday, July 04, 2018

Happy 4th of July



A very happy Independence Day to all of my American friends.

Should you ever change your minds and want to end the concept of a presidential republic and return to the motherland and to the monarchy, just drop us a message!

Tuesday, July 03, 2018

The Weather

The two days of moderately warm weather have subsided to a windy cool 24 degrees, and yet people are still moaning that it is hot and the rail companies still claim it is bending their rails!

Monday, July 02, 2018

The "Success" of Regime Destabilisation

It is "ironic" that destabilising an established regime, instead of making things safer, in fact makes the world a more unstable and less manageable place.

Here are a few of the countries that the "West" (USA mainly) has tried to destabilise, none of them can be called stable and the world is far less safe:

- Syria
- Lybia
- Iran
- Afghanistan
- Lebanon
- Ukraine
- Yeman
- Nicaragua (in fact many/most South American countries)
- Panama etc

Need I go on?

Friday, June 29, 2018

Today I Am Mainly Being...



Today I am mainly being...

Wise beyond my years.

Thursday, June 28, 2018

Advice To The Bathroom Spider

I keep taking you out of the bath in order to stop you being drowned, please stop going back into the bath!

Wednesday, June 27, 2018

A Forest of Laws and The Devil

Those who would cut down a forest of laws in order to imprison the devil, should ask themselves that once that forest has been cut down what will they use to protect themselves from the devil when he comes after them?

Tuesday, June 26, 2018

Hammers

When you hold a hammer, everything is a nail!

Monday, June 25, 2018

Have It Large!

I suggest you all have it large today!

Friday, June 22, 2018

Thursday, June 21, 2018

Needles In Haystacks

Searching for needles in haystacks may be all very well and good, but how the hell are you meant to find the needle if you can't fin a haystack to search?

Seriously, when was the last time anyone saw a haystack??

Wednesday, June 20, 2018

Tuesday, June 19, 2018

NHS Reality Check

The NHS is not "free", it is paid for by taxing people.

Monday, June 18, 2018

On This Day..

 
ON THIS DAY

AT THIS TIME

IN THIS PLACE

I am mainly being the burning centre of the sun shining like a diamond in the dark starlit sky at the bottom of the deepest ocean, standing firm against the oncoming storm of my own force of personality and intellect!

Friday, June 15, 2018

Today I Am Mainly Being..

Today I am mainly being both:

The rock, and the hard place!

Thursday, June 14, 2018

Wednesday, June 13, 2018

Tuesday, June 12, 2018

Hotel and Leisure Complexes


As hotel and leisure complexes go, this one could well be quite fascinating!

Monday, June 11, 2018

Monday Morning Weather

Monday morning weather is always so indecisive!

Friday, June 08, 2018

Twitter

Twitter should be regarded as an arrow in the quiver of tactics for those who campaign for change, or simply seek to promote themselves or their business.

Wednesday, June 06, 2018

Happy Swedish National Day!



A very Happy Swedish National Day to all my Swedish chums.

In honour of the occasion here is a photo of a Falukorv that I recently cooked and ate.

Tuesday, June 05, 2018

Limited Expectations

Those who have limited expectations achieve sweet FA!

Monday, June 04, 2018

Opinions

Never let facts stand in the way of a firmly held opinion!

Friday, June 01, 2018

Advice To The MSM Covering Asia Pacific

Family names are the first name, and given names come AFTER the family name.

Get it?

Got it?

Good!

Wednesday, May 30, 2018

The Dawn of The New Age of Burger Diplomacy

When all else fails, rely on your gut instincts and use burgers as bargaining chips!

Tuesday, May 29, 2018

Mediators

Mediators don't take sides.

Will someone please tell the Wall Street Journal that!

Friday, May 25, 2018

Diplomacy

Useless gobshites should not conduct diplomacy, or be allowed to have contact whatsoever with representatives from other countries.

Thursday, May 24, 2018

White House Gift Shop Changes Post Summit Coin Details


Can you spot the difference children?

On Wednesday they said this:
"Not Identical to the WHCA Pre-Summit Coin & Features Post Summit Icons"
Today they now say this:

"The Coin Will be Made Whether or Not the Summit Occurs as Scheduled


Because the Theme is

Coming Closer to Peace and Celebrates the Act of Communication Among Countries


If Summit Does Not Occur You can Request a Refund but Most Supporters Have Said They Want This Heirloom of

Political History Regardless of Outcome."

Crooks!

The Kim Trump Post Summit Coin



Given the uncertainty hanging over the summit, should we buy the post summit coin or short it?

Wednesday, May 23, 2018

Post Summit Coin Available For Pre Order



It seems that the Donald Trump fully intends to hold a summit with Kim, as the White House gift shop is already selling (on pre order) post summit coins:
"Not Identical to the WHCA Pre-Summit Coin & Features Post Summit Icons"
There's confidence for you!

Monday, May 21, 2018

Southern Rail's New Timetable Fails Spectacularly


Seemingly "logistical problems" are causing the new timetable to fail.

Call me old fashioned, but was not the new timetable meant to fix Southern Rail's "logistical problems"?????

Friday, May 18, 2018

Flush Your Systems

Keep fit and healthy by flushing your systems!

Thursday, May 17, 2018

Advice To Those About To Get Married

Weddings are excessively stressful and expensive, therefore reduce the cost and stress by not inviting your relatives!

Wednesday, May 16, 2018

One of Life's Little Mysteries



It is one of life's little mysteries that some draft dodgers of a previous generation are very shouty and loud in their calls for war, and the sending of young men of the current generation to their certain deaths to that hoped for new war.

Monday, May 14, 2018

America's Embassy In Jerusalem

According to some idiotic American, the opening of the US embassy in Jerusalem fulfils biblical "prophecy".

Has America so lost its way in the world that it can only function and make decisions based on "prophecies" contained within a collection of fairy tales published over 2,000 years ago??

Friday, May 11, 2018

Two Questions For America



You do know that now you have reneged on the JCPOA, you can't tell the Iranians to continue to accept nuclear inspections don't you?

If you didn't know that, then did you really understand what you were doing when you reneged on it?

Thursday, May 10, 2018

Personal Travelling Toilet

One day I dream of being rich enough to warrant my own personal, high security, travelling toilet!

Wednesday, May 09, 2018

The Morning Headlines

It would be nice to wake up one morning and read headlines that do not include the words "President Trump".

Tuesday, May 08, 2018

Advice To President Trump

In the event you throw the baby out with the bathwater today, at least refill the bath afterwards!

Friday, May 04, 2018

A Pox Upon The Politicians

As the politicians from all parties try to claim they had good results in yesterday's local elections, don't believe a word of it.

The voters loath you all!

Thursday, May 03, 2018

Luncheon

In view of the pleasant, but not boiling, weather today's luncheon will be a Cornish pasty!

Wednesday, May 02, 2018

Bank Holiday Weather Prediction



Despite the fact it is pissing down, our "reliable" weather forecasters promise us a sunny warm Bank Holiday weekend (HOTTER THAN IBIZA!).

Don't hold your breath Britain!

Tuesday, May 01, 2018

Damp Squid

Damp squid is hard to digest, especially when served in excess portions during a televised dog and pony show.

Monday, April 30, 2018

Friday, April 27, 2018

Advice To Cyclists

When you encounter a group of elderly people having to stand on the pavement cycle lane, as they are getting on a tour bus, shouting "please move" without lessening your speed or adjusting your direction of travel is not only rude but bloody stupid!

Thursday, April 26, 2018

The Alleged Macron Trump Bromance



Much nonsense has been written by the media about the so called Macron/Trump bromance.

There was of course nothing of the sort. However, Macron had I suspect briefly the ability and strength to persuade Trump to "think" a little about the possible consequences of his planned actions wrt eg Iran.

Unfortunately, once someone explains to Trump that Macron dissed him in his speech to Congress any such hope will be consigned to the dustbin of history. As Macron knows (or should know) Trump does not take kindly to being dissed, especially in public!

Wednesday, April 25, 2018

Advice To Wanabee Beachfront Bar Owners

Put windows into your premises, people want to see the sea!

Tuesday, April 24, 2018

Friday, April 20, 2018

Open Toed Sandals - Just Say No!

Now that the warm weather is upon us, there is the temptation for some to don open toed sandals or flip flops.

As I have noted before, such footwear is morally degenerate; feet should be properly shod.

JUST SAY NO!

Thursday, April 19, 2018

Leaders Today

I am beginning to think that many of our current world leaders have some serious shortcomings!

Are these people in power because there are no better candidates, or because the voters have lost the ability to tell wheat from chaff?

Wednesday, April 18, 2018

The Last Best Hope For Peace

When diplomats and politicians fail, the last best hope for peace rests with the professionals of intelligence agencies who have the integrity and skills to get things done.

Monday, April 16, 2018

This Is NOT The Dawning of The Age of Aquarius!

 
These four men currently hold the future of the world in their hands.

Tin hats everyone!