Title

Ken's Blue Blog
Musings on "the bleedin' obvious"; views on the meaning of life, or anything else that takes my fancy.

Friday, July 31, 2009

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

My stomach is not a bouncy castle.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

The ATM receipts on my desk are not "prey".

Monday, July 27, 2009

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

Headbutting me in bed in the morning is not the most "emotionally intelligent" way to wake me up.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Friday, July 24, 2009

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

Why not try sitting in the middle of the litter tray, rather then at the very edge?

You might then manage to improve your aim!

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

The cat litter in your litter tray is best left in the litter tray, and should not be used as an improvised football for an impromptu game of kitchen floor football ("pawball"?).

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

The buttons on my shirt should not be regarded as food, nor indeed do they provide any form of useful nourishment.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Further Advice To Lord Myners

According to one of your ex colleagues from M&S, who writes in today's Times letters page, you once thought you were God; it may therefore be a little pointless finding "ethics".

Monday, July 20, 2009

Advice To Lord Myners

As laudable as it is that you have now discovered "ethics", and are appalled at the lack of ethics in the City.

I would have been more convinced by your conversion "on the road to Damascus", had this happened before your made £30M in the City and allowed Fred "The Shred" to run off with a £16M pension pot.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Advice To Restaurants

If you are foolish enough to run out of brandy, go to the nearest shop and buy a bottle.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Monday, July 13, 2009

Advice To The Media

Check the facts first, before blindly accepting "information" provided to you by state agencies.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Advice To Catholics

Don't pray to cut down trees that vaguely "resemble" the Virgin Mary, you really don't do the religion any favours.

Thursday, July 09, 2009

Afghanistan

Why exactly are we in afghanistan, and what constitutes a "victory" whereby our troops can come home?

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Rain

Why do the heavens always open and gush forth a biblical torrent everytime I say the magic phrase:

"Maybe I could do a barbecue this evening"?

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Advice To Leisure Club Members

Chairs are for humans to sit on, not inanimate objects such as water bottles, swimming goggles and towels.

Monday, July 06, 2009

Saying Sorry

The British sometimes say "sorry" when they actually mean:

- "You clumsy twat!"

- "Please get out of my way!"

Friday, July 03, 2009

Principles

Once "principles" are ditched, diplomacy and commonsense can raise their heads and real progress can be made.

Thursday, July 02, 2009

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Advice To My Cat

My PC keyboard does not work effectively if you sit on it when I am typing.