Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

 

Ken's Christmas Crackers - Incoming!

 

Ken's Christmas Crackers - Time To Mount The Fairy On Your Tree

 

Ken's Christmas Crackers - Stocking Up

 

Even though most shops are only closed for a few hours over Christmas, it is the law of England that you must buy enough booze, fags and food to last you for a month!

Ken's Christmas Crackers - 'Tis The Season To Blow The Fuses!

 

Ken's Christmas Crackers - Is Your Bird Ready?

 

One of the trickiest parts of cooking on Christmas Day is knowing when your bird is ready.

Simply prick your bird's thighs; if the juices run clear your bird is ready, if there is blood then your bird needs more time in the oven. 

Ken's Christmas Crackers - Stuff Your Bird This Christmas

 

Stooge Stuffing GIFfrom Stooge GIFs

Ken's Christmas Crackers - The Joy of The Traditional Nativity Scene

 

Ken's Christmas Crackers - Don't Overdose On Nuts This Christmas!

 

Ken's Christmas Crackers - A Gift for The Lady in Your Life

 

Ken's Christmas Crackers - Don't Even Think About It!

 

Ken's Christmas Crackers - Don't Forget To Stock Up On The Mayonnaise

 

Ken's Christmas Crackers - The Joy of Christmas Carols!

 

Ken's Christmas Crackers - Start Writing Your Letters To Santa

 

Ken's Christmas Crackers - The Sanity Clause

 

Ken's Christmas Crackers - The Joy of Birthdays on Christmas Day

 

Ken's Christmas Crackers - Choose Your Cards Wisely!

 

Ken's Christmas Crackers - Choose Your Lights Wisely

 

Ken's Christmas Crackers - An Elegant Sufficiency

 

 When you go Christmas drinking, and have had an elegant sufficiency, always ensure that your route home has plenty of lampposts to steady your progress.

Ken's Christmas Crackers - The True Meaning of Christmas

Christmas is for wants, not needs!

Ken's Christmas Crackers - The Pre Christmas Drinking Season Is Upon Us Have It Large!

 

Ken's Christmas Crackers - Who Doesn't Enjoy a Bit of Fanny at Christmas?

 

Ken's Christmas Crackers - Get Your Brasso Out!

 

Ken's Christmas Crackers - The Blue Peter Christmas Fire Hazard Advent Crown

 

 I have fond memories of trying to construct one of these out of coat hangers, tinsel and sellotape.

 Fortunately, for the sake of our home and its occupants, it never got to the "ignition" stage! 

Ken's Christmas Crackers - Brussels

 

Now that Christmas is just 25 days away; it is vital that you start boiling your Brussels sprouts immediately; in order to ensure that they are totally devoid of taste, texture, colour and goodness!