Suppliers

The phrase "the customer is king" is only half of the story. Suppliers need to be treated with care and attention as well, piss them off and you will screw your business up.

Astrology

Utter bollocks!

Advice To Voters

Don't vote for politicians with religious beliefs.

Advice To Prime Ministers

Prime Ministers who have never seen military service should not be so relaxed about wasting the lives of their armed forces on foreign follies.

Turkey

A turkey is for life, not just Christmas.

Advice To Prime Ministers

Voters don't like ditherers.

World Class

Whenever I hear the phrase "world class", I instinctively reach for my sick bag.

Christmas

Christmas is for wants, not needs.

Ignorance

No matter how many "celebrities" would have you believe it, it is not clever to be ignorant.

Friends and Enemies

Be nice to your enemies, in case your friends turn out to be bastards.

Governments

Governments have experience of management, they only have experience of policy. That is why governments fail.

Meetings

Beware those who seek to hold important meetings at awkward times or awkward places.