Ken's Christmas Crackers - Merry Christmas!

 

Ken's Christmas Crackers - Stuff Your Bird!

Stooge Stuffing GIFfrom Stooge GIFs

Remember to give your bird a good stuffing this Christmas!

Ken's Christmas Crackers - Mind Your Nuts!

 

Ken's Christmas Crackers - The Queen's Christmas Broadcast 2021

 

Ken's Christmas Crackers - Improvisation Is The Key!

 

Ken's Christmas Crackers - The True Meaning of Christmas

 

Christmas is for wants, not needs!

Ken's Christmas Crackers - The Joy of Gift Giving

 

Choose wisely!

Ken's Christmas Crackers - Get Your Brasso Out!

 

Get your Brasso out, and polish your artefacts.

Christmas isn't Christmas without a shiny artefact on the mantelpiece, or in front of the fire!

Ken's Christmas Crackers - When You Realise Santa Isn't Real

 

Ken's Christmas Crackers - Decisions Made at Christmas

 

Important decisions (eg personal, business, financial, political etc) made or authorised in the fortnight before Christmas always come back to bite you on the arse in the new year!

Ken's Christmas Crackers - Christmas Lights

 

Ken's Christmas Crackers - Christmas Puddings Last Forever

 

Ken's Christmas Crackers - Sanity Clause

 

Ken's Christmas Crackers - The Santa Surprise

 

Ken's Christmas Crackers - The Big Bastard Ham Pot

 

In order to ensure that you have the means to cook a decent sized ham for Christmas, ensure that you have a big bastard pot to cook it in.

Mine is 37 litres, and measures over 14 inches in diameter!

Ken's Christmas Crackers - The Traditional Christmas Cucumber

 

Christmas isn't Christmas until you have erected the traditional Christmas cucumber and decorated it with some really crap lights!

Ken's Christmas Crackers - How To Deal With a Threadbare Tree

In the unfortunate event you have a threadbare tree, distract people's attention by placing a large stone statue of Nelson on the top of it.

Ken's Christmas Crackers - Only 24 More Variants Until Christmas!