Morning Has Broken

When dawn's sweet light strikes your eyes, take the day by the scruff of its neck and beat its head against the wall until it submits to your will.

You now own the day!

Advice To Hotels

Don't shut down your Sunday brunch on the weekend before Christmas!

Black Friday Is Bollocks

Those of you who rush out today in the search of "happiness" derived from the purchase of a "discounted" foreign import made by underpaid workers in Asia Pacific, might care to reflect that after your purchase your lives will still be as empty and unfulfilling as they were before the purchase.

Happy Thanksgiving

A happy and peaceful Thanksgiving to all my American friends!

The "Better Nature" of Demagogues and Dictators

Appealing to the "better nature" or morals of demagogues and dictators is utterly pointless, as they don't have these human traits.

In order to deal with such people you need to use a combination of threats, bribes and flattery.

The "Good Old Days"

We are contantly being told by politicians and the medai that our air and water is polluted, and that the food we eat is jnk and killing us.

Yet go back a few hundred years in time, to the days before pollution and junk food, and you will find that people did not live much beyond 30.

There's irony for you!

Question For Three

When are you going to communicate with your customers about the hack?

Weather Apps

A pox upon all weather apps, they are worse than worthless!

Happy Beaujolais Nouveau Day!

Question For Microsoft

Why do your Windows 10 updates keep screwing up my pc?

Knife Fights

Knife fights are very unbecoming, especially when conducted in high political office, and invariably end with the wrong person winning.

Beware The Supermoon

Beware the supermoon, as social media will be awash with even more nut jobs than usual!

Lest We Forget

How Democracy Works

One party wins, the others lose and bide their time until the next election to try to win popular support.

Those people who cannot come to terms with an election result need to understand the above, and get over themselves.

Advice To Pollsters

Look for another job!

#TobleroneGate - Don't Fall For The Brexit Rumour

Toblerone is made in Bern (as per Toblerone), the myth that the change in shape is to do with Brexit cost rises is nonsense, this redesign and retooling of the product and production line is designed to increase profits.

Advice To American Voters

Whoever gets elected in the next 48 hours, do remember you will need to unite as a nation afterwards even if you cannot stand the President Elect.

Advice To Flat Dwellers Re Buildings Insurance

When the excess on your buildings insurance is in the thousands, don't kid yourself that you are covered; you're not!

Advice To Cold Callers

Mr Didcot does not live here, he has never lived here, nor will he ever live here.

FFS amend your fucking records!

Advice To The Republicans and Democrats

Had either of you chosen any candidates other than the ones you are fielding now, you would win by a landslide!

Clever People

Many clever people delude themselves into thinking that they are more clever than those around them, this delusion leads them to do foolish things that inevitably come back to bite them on their arses!