Advice To People Using a Lawyer

 

 Avoid lawyers who boast about their £1M car collection and their love of Lamborghinis!

Oh, and it would probably also be a red flag that they repeatedly lie.

Riddle Me This, Riddle Me That?

 

When is terrorism not terrorism?

When it's a "mental health episode".

Has Anyone Told Biden He's Not Standing?

 

Advice To Adidas

 

Find a small room, in a nondescript house in a nondescript part of town and hide there without saying a word for the next few years!

Advice To Emily Maitlis

 

  Think before you tweet!

You Can Vote Drunk

 

Next Episode of Long Lost Family Looks Shit!

 

Both appear to be suffering from foetal alcohol syndrome.

Hypocritcal Glasto CuXts!

 

Not to keen on saving the planet if it means they actually have to clean up after themselves,, pathetic virtue signaling cuxts pic.twitter.com/Qyj79tLEcb

— CRANNY 2🙈🙉🙊⚒️⚒️⚒️🇬🇧😁⛳🇬🇧 (@00sfield) July 1, 2024

Virtue Signalling Tea Towel Wearers Celebrate Mass Slaughter

 

It is more than little "ironic" that the virtue signalling middle class tea towel wearers at Glasto are displaying and celebrating the flag used by the murderous vermin who slaughtered 364 festival goers eight months ago at the Nova Festival.

Suffice to say Glasto goers feel safe because, unlike the Nova Festival attendees, they are hiding behind a 50 foot high metal security fence complete with watch towers.

Bring Your Carer To Work Day!

Dr Jill Biden is an enemy of the state. This is so disturbing. pic.twitter.com/dMUSXzgSMN

— Dan Wootton (@danwootton) June 28, 2024

The Consequences of Social Media

 

The apparent epidemic of stupidity, self entitlement, fanaticism and paranoia is because social media gives a disproportionate voice to those who are stupid/mentally ill/pushing an agenda. 

Coupled with the fact that humans are hard wired to need to believe in something (in the past it was god for most people), lest we go mad & end up like wolves howling at the moon!

Glad Midsommar!

 

Happy Summer Solstice!

 

Come On Dover, Move Your Bloomin' Arse - Happy Ascot!

 

#RoyalAscot is upon us, and there’s no better moment than now to celebrate its magic. Do you recall your first encounter with the splendour of Royal Ascot? #AscotRacecourse #HorseRacing pic.twitter.com/h3R1Lwwkh2

— Ascot Racecourse (@Ascot) June 18, 2024

The Human Gargoyle's "Peace" Proposal

 

This is standard Putin playbook. 

You have a fight, you lose, you go away and fight again later. 

He will simply use the time during any ceasefire to regroup and re-equip, he will then attack again.

Only when his army and his economy has been ground to dust will we have peace!

The Funny Bone

 

 The funny bone is clearly a misnomer, as mine has never cracked a joke once in its long life!

Russia

Russian group of cyber criminals who call themselves Qilin is behind the latest NHS ransomware attack.

As the NHS increasingly moves into the 21st century are we paying enough attention to these threats that can cripple our health systems and harm patient care? https://t.co/8VsHvjxeqb

— Shaun Lintern (@ShaunLintern) June 5, 2024

 

Russia is not a state, or even a failed state, it is a criminal enterprise!

Advice To Cretinous Students

 

When vermin such as this and Al-Qaeda support you, you are most very definitely on the wrong side of history!

Dear university students in the United States of America, you are standing on the right side of history.

— Khamenei.ir (@khamenei_ir) May 29, 2024

Biden Is a Twat!

 

Biden in 2019: “The idea that we would cut off military aid to Israel, our only true ally in the entire region, is absolutely preposterous. It is beyond my comprehension that anyone would do that.”
pic.twitter.com/7sP4v7TVqM

— Dr. Eli David (@DrEliDavid) May 9, 2024

Stewardess of The Year!

 

No Bagels - From Parody To Reality!

 

 Parody

 

WHO DID THIS?!!? pic.twitter.com/EbsHDXZymG

— Jayroo (@jayroo69) April 30, 2024

Reality 

The list of UCLA student demands. You will note they insist on NO BAGELS… pic.twitter.com/QYNxZ6JP2o

— leekern (@leekern13) May 1, 2024

These people are self entitled. self obsessed, feeble minded, spoilt wankers, time to take out the trash!

Advice To American Universities

 

When facing an occupation by your tantrum throwing toddlers who claim to be students, do the following:

1 Shut off all power and water

2 Stop food being brought in

3 Shut off the WiFi

4 Jam their mobile phone signals

Make sure the FBI are in attendance in order to photograph them and take their prints when they emerge a few hours later!

Post Office Board Succumbs To Dementia

 

A Russian Asset Hiding In Plain Sight!

 

Marjorie Taylor-Greene's amendments to the foreign aid bills:

1. Members who vote for Ukraine aid must conscript in the Ukrainian Army

2. Israel aid will be used for the development of "space laser technology" on the Southern border pic.twitter.com/cJRdGXxa48

— Kareem Rifai 🌐 (@KareemRifai) April 18, 2024

The Iran Israel Standoff Explained In Terms of a Flat-roofed Pub

 

On Saturday night Iran went into a flat roofed pub in a council estate and tried to punch the local hard man (Israel), it missed and spilled some of Israel's pint.

Everyone else in the pub is holding their breath waiting for the inevitable, except for Biden who is saying:

"Leave it Dave, he's not worth it!"

Advice To MPs

 

When a complete stranger sends you intimate photos, don't reciprocate!

Happy Easter

 

IRONY KLAXON - Russia's Police State

It is more than "ironic" that despite the Crocus Hall atrocity occurring in one of the most surveilled society's on the planet, being next to the Pavshyno police department and a short distance from a National Guard Base neither the police nor the security services bothered to turn up until after the attackers had left and set fire to the building!

There's irony for you! 

The Only Effective Form of Sanctions

 

BREAKING:

A Ukrainian drone strike has destroyed the Kaluga Oil Refinery south-west of Moscow.

Ukraine continues its new strategic campaign to systematically destroy Russia’s oil and gas industry.

Ukraine has launched plenty of “sanctions” over the past 3-4 weeks pic.twitter.com/iKwoxO3NCH

— Visegrád 24 (@visegrad24) March 15, 2024

The only effective form of sanctions are those that physically destroy a country's industrial and economic base.

The Past, The Present and The Future

 

Those that manipulate the past in order to suit the present, end up destroying the future!

Oops!

Like many amateur photographers, I do occasionally experiment with editing. I wanted to express my apologies for any confusion the family photograph we shared yesterday caused. I hope everyone celebrating had a very happy Mother’s Day. C

— The Prince and Princess of Wales (@KensingtonRoyal) March 11, 2024

Tax Cuts

 

When a government makes a tax cut, it's not giving you more money it's simply reducing the amount of money (temporarily) it is taking from you via headline figures.

Advice To Jan Marsalek

 

When the authorities finally catch up with you, plea bargain your way to a lighter sentence by handing over all the evidence that you have on Scholz being a Russian asset.

When Is a Threat Not a Threat?

 

When it's an urge!

Advice To Henry Staunton

 

 Name the civil servant!

Advice To Congress

A brief and very short history lesson:

-Murder of Alexander Litvinenko with polonium 2006 

-Invasion of Georgia 2008 

-Invasion of Ukraine 2014 

-Skripal poisoning with Novichok in Salisbury 2018 

-Invasion of Ukraine 2022

-The murder of Alexei Navalny etc

You don't do deals with Putin!

You don't call for a ceasefire in Ukraine!

You give Putin a very bloody nose and make him crawl back under the stone from where he came from!

Happy Valentine's Day!

 

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

NATO says screw you two!

Happy Pancake Day!

 

Happy Lunar New Year

 

Happy Australia Day

 

Happy Australia Day to the good people of Australia.

Happy Burn's Night

 

Happy Blue Monday!

 

"Captain" Voldermoan

 

Given that Voldermoan is currently bemoaning the fact that the UK is taking action in the Red Sea, it is high time that she either voluntarily resigns her honorary RAF rank of Captain, or it is stripped from her.

Rewarded For Failure

 

 Why does this woman still have a CBE?