Excess Wealth

Those people who have "excess wealth", a subjective term I know, despite the trappings of wealth and their ability to do whatever they want have little happiness.

Look into their eyes, there is no sparkle of joy or happiness there.

Only when you face, and overcome, adversity and challenges do you achieve completeness and inner peace.

Weather Forecasts

I am fed up with seeing, and reading, weather forecasts that are consistently wrong.

Let us end this uncertain science once and for all, by fining the forecasters everytime they make a mistake.

That will be a spur to improve accuracy.

Computers

Computers and IT are a wonderful creation, when they work.

However, when they don't work they really know how to screw you up.

How To Spot a Lie

The following is an example of a lie, often used by criminals:

"I would like to state categorically that I have never taken the money"

The liar is not saying that he/she did not take the money, merely that he/she would like to say that he/she did not take the money.

Clever eh?

Watch out for this lie, it is used a lot.

Graphologists

The number of companies using graphologists, to assess job interview candidates, has been increasing steadily.

The companies believe that the study of handwriting can lead to a meaningful insight into a person's character and mental state.

Utter tosh!

They would be just as well served by hiring an astrologer to conduct a palm reading.

My advice to those of you attending job interviews is simple; if the company uses graphology as part of their interview technique, walk out and don't waste your time, the company clearly has no idea how to asses people and doubtless has a lousy HR record.

Snow

Snow is wonderfully scenic and attractive to look at.

However, it becomes distinctly less attractive when you have to venture outside in order to go somewhere.

Blackheads and Clogged Pores

Those of you who suffer from blackheads and clogged pores may well be thinking of going to an expensive health club, to have them treated in the steam room.

Why waste money?

Simply pop into your nearest Indian restaurant and order a Vindaloo, the spices in that fine dish will open your pores and sweat those blackheads away.

Growth

Growth can only be achieved through; struggle, adversity, failure and challenge.

Great Marketing Cons of The 21st Century

Tooth paste manufacturers stack the shelves with multi purpose pastes, all claiming to be different, in order to sell these potions they have to create a demand for them.

One way to do that is to create a non existent condition, then claim that their product remedies that condition.

Sensitive teeth is one such example of a non existent condition. Mankind has survived for centuries without the sensitive teeth; yet, within the last few years, we are being bombarded with adverts telling us that we suffer from this non existent condition.

Utter nonsense, there is no such thing!

Bread Rolls

May I ask, what is the purpose of serving bread rolls at dinner?

Consuming a filler, such as bread, serves no purpose other than to fill the diner.

A good restaurant, or host, should serve sufficient food to staunch their guests' appetites; without the need to resort to the chicanery of bread rolls.

The Propeller

The propeller can teach us much about life.

In order to be effective, when lifting a plane into the skies, the propeller must face into the wind; only then will it attain sufficient lift.

Such is the case when one is confronted with adversity, in order to overcome and rise above adversity one must face it; do not hide away and avoid it.

The Powerful and The Stupid

The powerful and the stupid have one thing in common.

They both alter the facts to suit their view of reality.

Call Centre Operatives

I realise that it is now the norm for calls to major corporations to be handled by "call centre operatives", the 21st century equivalent of sweat shop labour.

However, I would ask this of the corporation, could you please hire operatives who speak clearly and into the telephone mouthpiece?

That at least would mean that I could understand and hear what they are saying, when they try to sell me an unwanted service/product.

Gravity

Much is made by people about the force of gravity.

To my view gravity is much overhyped, it is in fact a rather weak force. You can prove how weak gravity is for yourself; pass a magnet over a pin, the pin attaches itself to magnet thereby overcoming gravity.

The reason that gravity is so weak is that, in fact, it is leaking into our universe in waves from another universe.

Waves of gravity are focused, like a magnifying glass focuses the rays of the sun, by masses such as the earth; the focused gravity gives rise to a force, that we sloppily call "weight", which can be felt in our universe.

Diet

It is no coincidence that 75% of the word diet is "die".

When Things Go Wrong

When things go wrong follow this simple mantra.

Never complain, never explain.

Excuses

Don't make excuses.

No one ever believes them.

Airline Reward Schemes

What, may I ask, is the point of airline reward schemes; if the airlines never have an available seat for you to book with your points?

Sex Scandals

History is littered with the shattered corpses of politicians' careers, destroyed by their sexual peccadilloes.

The solution is simple, castrate all politicians when they take office.

Ready Made Meals

People who eat ready made meals, on a regular basis, make a number of excuses for this unhealthy habit; they claim that:

• The meals are non fattening, if they have chosen the "good for you" ranges pumped out by the supermarkets



• They are quick and easy to cook



• They are inexpensive



• They taste better than home cooking

My response to the above can be summed up in two words, "utter drivel".

Ready made meals, in comparison to freshly cooked food, are expensive and unhealthy.

The real reason that people eat these products, is because they are too lazy to cook for themselves.

My advice, get off your backsides and cook something fresh of a change; I have no sympathy for the lazy and indolent.

TV Adverts

Why is that TV adverts are broadcast at a higher sound volume than the programmes that they interrupt?

Political Correctness

When I hear the phrase "political correctness", I instinctively reach for my sick bag.