Ken's Blue Blog
Musings on "the bleedin' obvious"; views on the meaning of life, or anything else that takes my fancy.

Thursday, December 31, 2015

Happy New Year!

A peaceful and happy New Year to everyone!

Tuesday, December 29, 2015


Belief is the antithesis of reason and logic.

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Merry Christmas

A Merry Christmas and Happy and Peaceful New Year to you all!

Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Facebook Friends

Just because you are "friends" with people on Facebook, it doesn't mean that they are not psychopaths.

Monday, December 21, 2015

Advice To Southern Trains

People do travel over Christmas you know, the country doesn't grind to a shuddering halt just because you can't be arsed to run a decent service over the Christmas period!

Thursday, December 17, 2015

Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Monday, December 14, 2015

Friday, December 11, 2015

Global Contingency Planning

The world needs to start planning now for the possibility that the USA might elect an utter doofus as President next year.

Wednesday, December 09, 2015

Tuesday, December 08, 2015

Thoughts of Wisdom

Sadly my thoughts of wisdom for today have been interrupted by the delivery of my Christmas vodka supplies.

Friday, December 04, 2015

The Ultimate Power Drink

Avocado, celery, parsley, watercress, spinach, garlic, tomato, ginger and water when all blended together make a most efficacious breakfast drink!

Thursday, December 03, 2015


Let truth be your guiding star.

Wednesday, December 02, 2015

Mild For The Time of Year?

Regarding last night's cheery Channel 4 weather forecaster who informed us all that it will be "mild for the time of year", may I suggest that he pops down to the South coast and has a wee walk along the seafront?

Tuesday, December 01, 2015

Green Drinks

Healthy superfood green vegetable and herb blended drinks are an excellent start to the day, wrt vitamins and fibre.

Unfortunately they have an annoying habit of leaving unsightly green bits stuck in your teeth, and a less than healthy green stain around the lips!

Monday, November 30, 2015

Black Monday

It is now Monday, yet the phrase "Black Friday" is still being used ad nauseam on both social media and in mainstream advertising.

FFS, when will it ever end??

Thursday, November 26, 2015

Happy Thanksgiving

A happy and peaceful Thanksgiving to my American friends.

Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Taking Offence

Those people who take offence on a regular basis at the slightest little thing, would do well to avoid reading books/newspapers, watching TV, listening to the radio, using the internet or indeed interacting with other human beings.

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Advice To NATO Members

Don't shoot down Russian fighter planes engaged in bombing ISIS.

We are, allegedly, on the same side in the fight against ISIS!

Monday, November 23, 2015


Lockdowns can be effective, if you manage to arrest the person(s) that has/have necessitated the lockdown. However, in the event that he/she/they evade you how do you climb down from a lockdown?

Friday, November 20, 2015

Advice To Businesses

Do not be quick to spend money you haven't got, in order to resolve someone else's fuck up!

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Corned Beef

Corned beef is a most excellent staple to have in your cupboard, not only does it make excellent sandwiches it also serves well in a hash or equivalent!

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Regime Change

Not one of the USA's most successful foreign policy initiatives.

Maybe the US should take a leaf out of the Federation's book, and adopt a policy of non interference?

Monday, November 16, 2015

Advice To Customers and Suppliers

It helps if you don't dick each other around, and are upfront at the beginning of a business relationship.

Thursday, November 12, 2015

Leaf Blowers

Leaf blowers are without a doubt one of mankind's least useful inventions.

Not only are they noisy, but instead of sucking up leaves they blow them hither and thither; thus moving the problem from one place to another!

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

War and Forgiveness

The cycle of war and bloodshed can only end when there is forgiveness.

Monday, November 09, 2015

Question For Andrex

What on earth do I need vitamin E enriched toilet paper for?

I am not going to eat it!

Sunday, November 08, 2015

Remembrance Sunday

They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old.

Friday, November 06, 2015

Art and Pain

Only true art is born out of pain.

How do we know this?

"Pain" is part of "painting"!

Thursday, November 05, 2015

Domestic Building Projects

When embarking on domestic building projects, in order to avoid absolute chaos (financially and physically), always ensure that they are carried out in bite size portions rather than a shock and awe one off mega project!

Wednesday, November 04, 2015

Advice To Chefs

Portions are meant to be sufficient in quantity to be classified as a meal, and not be so small that they can only be classified as a "sample".

Tuesday, November 03, 2015

What Lurks Behind the Kitchen Unit?

Beware pulling out kitchen units, in order to access pipes, all manner of hidden long forgotten horrors are lurking there!

Monday, November 02, 2015

Friday, October 30, 2015

Chili Eating

When eating chili it is advisable to try to aim for the mouth, rather than splatter it in your hair.

Thursday, October 29, 2015

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Tactics and Strategy

To employ tactics without strategy is a policy doomed to fail.

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Advice For Power and Water Cuts

When your power and water are cut off temporarily, and you can't use the computer or make a cup of tea, go for a walk.

Monday, October 26, 2015

Sod's Law

The phone will always ring, or the door will always knock when you are in the bathroom.

Friday, October 23, 2015


It being Friday, you now have my permission to start drinking.

Thursday, October 22, 2015

Tuesday, October 20, 2015


It's always fun finding a selection of last night's takeaway chips secreted within and under the sofa the next morning.

Monday, October 19, 2015

Monday Mornings

What better way to start your week than to sleep through Monday and start the week on Tuesday?

Friday, October 16, 2015

The Customer Is Always Right

The maxim of "the customer is always right" is indeed valid when running a business. However, sometimes the following caveat applies:

"The customer can be an indecisive, time wasting moron"

Thursday, October 15, 2015

Lost Battles

When the battle is lost, regroup and move on lest you lose the war by continuing to fight the lost battle.

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Enforced Regime Change

So how's that been working out then?

The world feels so much "safer" and more "stable" since it has become de facto foreign policy of certain countries to destabilise others, in the hope of "encouraging" regime change.


Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Waste Not, Want Not

Waste not, want not or so the old saying goes.

However, that is not always applicable.

The other day I found a half consumed can of lager in the street, and duly saved it. However, today I really don't want to drink it!

Monday, October 12, 2015

Friday, October 09, 2015

Wednesday, October 07, 2015


Q: When is a terrorist not a terrorist?

A: When he is a third party asset.

Tuesday, October 06, 2015

Monday, October 05, 2015

Tired Old Camels

Tired old camels really don't appreciate extra straws being placed upon them.

Those who have luxuriated in positions of power and authority over the years might want to bear this in mind when they place extra burdens upon their subservients.

Friday, October 02, 2015

Regime Change

How much the safer the world is now that Muammar Gaddafi and Sadam Hussein are dead, and that Bashar al-Assad's regime has been destabilised by outside agencies.


You mean it isn't safer, but is in fact more dangerous?

How could that be??

Thursday, October 01, 2015


May the enemies of one's friends die screaming!

Wednesday, September 30, 2015

London Jobs

London jobs for London people.

Now there's a challenge!

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Monday, September 28, 2015

Love vs Hate

It is mooted many that love and hate are two sides of the same coin.

This is not true, it is easy to hate someone because it requires no effort or risk and is a default setting for many humans when confronted with a disagreement or clash of views. However, it takes courage to love someone because it is a leap of faith in the future.

Friday, September 25, 2015

Thursday, September 24, 2015

Don't Worry

Don't worry about what people think of you, just treat people with kindness and decency.

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Get Over Yourselves

Those of you who whinge when they see something that "offends" them on twitter, facebook or other social media should get over yourselves, ignore it and get on with your life.

Monday, September 21, 2015

Advice To Aspiring Politicians

Don't allow yourself to be photographed putting your private parts into dead animals.

Friday, September 18, 2015

Cat Videos

Having just watched a video of a cat sniffing a snail, my day is now complete!

Thursday, September 17, 2015

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Cold Calling

Nancy of "online support", your unsolicited phone calls are not welcome.

Kindly go away!

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Battle of Britain Day

On this day 75 years ago, the Luftwaffe launched its largest and most concentrated attack against London in the hope of drawing out the RAF into a battle of annihilation.

Around 1,500 aircraft took part in the air battles which lasted until dusk. The action was the climax of the Battle of Britain. RAF Fighter Command defeated the German raids.

The Luftwaffe formations were dispersed by a large cloud base and failed to inflict severe damage on the city of London. In the aftermath of the raid, Hitler postponed Operation Sea Lion.

Monday, September 14, 2015

Today's Weather

I pronounce today's weather to be absolute bollocks!

Happy Monday to you all!

Friday, September 11, 2015

Thursday, September 10, 2015

You're Nuts!

Most people are nuts.

However, many try to disguise that fact by trying to make others feel as though they are the only ones who are nuts.

Wednesday, September 09, 2015

Raise a Glass To The Queen

Today the Queen becomes Britain's longest serving monarch.

The Queen will have reigned for 63 years and seven months - calculated at 23,226 days, 16 hours and approximately 30 minutes at about 17:30 BST today.

Cheers Your Majesty!

Tuesday, September 08, 2015

Advice To Microsoft

Just because you have downloaded updates to Windows 10, it is impolite of you to restart my computer without asking my permission first!

Monday, September 07, 2015

Friday, September 04, 2015


Beware the sleepers buried in the midst of a crowd.

Thursday, September 03, 2015

The Law of Sod

It is the law of sod that just as you need to make an urgent edit to your website, both your computer and the hosting company server decide to run extremely slow or freeze completely.

Wednesday, September 02, 2015

Toothpaste Adverts

Toothpaste adverts lose what little credibility they have, by having people smile inanely and gormlessly in them.

Tuesday, September 01, 2015

Stress Advice

When stressed look at pictures of cats doing soppy things.

Thursday, August 27, 2015

Blunt Knives

A blunt knife can cut deeper than a sharp one.

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

Breakfast service does not commence before 7:00AM!

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Unfulfilled Dreams

Don't let yesterday's unfulfilled dreams become today's depression!

Monday, August 24, 2015

Thursday, August 20, 2015

Advice To Idiots

Throwing your toys out of your prams does not help you resolve whatever it is you are whinging about.

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Advice To Dell

Compare your website claimed delivery time to that on your order tracking information.

Then decide whether your website of your order tracking information is misleading, and take the appropriate remedial action!

Monday, August 17, 2015

Friday, August 14, 2015

A Good Night Out

When you can't remember paying the bill, then you know you had a good night out!

Thursday, August 13, 2015


The Battle of Britain began 75 years ago today.

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Where's Summer Gone?

Can someone please tell me where the fark summer has gone?

I am wearing my summer kit to no avail at the moment!

Monday, August 10, 2015


When hiring a dog, don't do the barking yourself.

The same applies to using lawyers, wrt ignoring their advice!

Thursday, August 06, 2015

Wednesday, August 05, 2015

Advice To Dishonest Businessmen and Rigged Arbitration Hearings

Those who think that they have shafted us, be aware there will be a reckoning!

Monday, August 03, 2015


- Computer responding at a snail's pace?

- Wifi shite and repeatedly dropping?

- Websites taking ages to load?

Then it must be a Monday!

Friday, July 31, 2015

Thursday, July 30, 2015

The Channel Tunnel

Shut the farking tunnel until the French have regained control of Calais!

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

The Channel Tunnel

Until the chaos on the French side of the Channel Tunnel in Calais is sorted out, it should be closed and losses incurred by British business be billed to the French authorities!

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Vacuum Cleaners

The noisiest vacuum cleaners are not always the suckiest!

Monday, July 27, 2015


Courage is something that you don't know you have until you are tested. Then you can never be sure that you will have it in the future, when you are tested again.

Friday, July 24, 2015

The Failure of WiFi

WiFi has failed to meet expectations, a service that repeatedly drops connection because of atmospherics and interference from other networks is fark all use to man and beast!

Thursday, July 23, 2015


Always keep your bowels well hydrated!

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

How To Look Good In Photos

- Stomach in

- Chest out

- Don't slouch 

- Remove any extraneous cabbage leaves from your teeth!

Tuesday, July 21, 2015


Never have a Jonah on a ship, aircraft or in a small business.

Monday, July 20, 2015

Friday, July 17, 2015


A pox upon Hotmail's slowness and clunkiness!

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Thinking vs Knowing

Thinking you know something is not the same thing as knowing something for sure.

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Advice To The Greeks

Get out of the Eurozone for your own good!

Monday, July 13, 2015

The British Summer

Summer 2015 appears to be turning into a damp squib (although I would say "squid" seems more appropriate!).

Friday, July 10, 2015


Set yourself up for the day ahead with a banana.

Thursday, July 09, 2015


Get the most out of networking events, by having a few stiff vodkas beforehand!

Wednesday, July 08, 2015

The British Summer

The British summer is temporarily in abeyance.

Please stand by!

Tuesday, July 07, 2015

Advice To Juncker

Don't send SMS's (especially to Tsipras) when you are drunk!

Monday, July 06, 2015


Believing something is not the same as knowing something!

Friday, July 03, 2015

Facebook and IE

I suggest that the technical departments of Facebook and IE liaise with each other, because there is an issue wrt posting comments on FB when using IE.

In the meantime switching to Chrome resolves the issues!

Thursday, July 02, 2015

Populism and Democracy

Populism is not the same as democracy and, more often than not, erodes democracy.

Wednesday, July 01, 2015

Hot Weather

During hot weather always ensure that you have sufficient vodka to hand.

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Mutually Assured Destruction

Theoretically the doctrine MAD, be it financial or military, can act as a deterrent. However, the problem lies in the fact that the concept includes the words "mutually" and "destruction".

These two words come front and centre when someone actually presses the button.

Friday, June 26, 2015

Network Printer

How come it took me two hours to connect my new printer to my pc yesterday?

Two hours of my life I will never get back!

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

Maybe if you ate your breakfast a little more slowly, you wouldn't have to need to throw it up ten seconds after consumption all over the kitchen floor?

Monday, June 22, 2015


When sending documents ahead of an important meeting, make sure you send the right ones!

Thursday, June 18, 2015

Happy Waterloo Day!

Two hundred years ago the Duke of Wellington defeated Napoleon, and saved Europe from dictatorship.

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Advice To Tsipras

Calling the IMF "criminals" probably won't help secure extra money from them!

Tuesday, June 16, 2015


Will someone please develop a Wi-Fi system that doesn't fall over every time a neighbour turns their router on, and drop because of interference from other systems!

Monday, June 15, 2015

Friday, June 12, 2015

Advice To Launderettes

Clean your lint traps often, lest they become a fire hazard!

Thursday, June 11, 2015

Ongoing Advice To Our Cat and Visiting Cats

Please conduct your cat races up and down our wooden stairways during the daytime, not in the middle of the night!

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Tuesday, June 09, 2015


Cats are put on earth the distract humans.

Thursday, June 04, 2015

Credit Lines

A man's credit line outranks his cash holdings, in the eyes of the capitalist world, even if he ends up never paying back money borrowed on that credit line.

Wednesday, June 03, 2015

Advice To Septic Bladder

Resigning from FIFA won't save you from jail.

You had best take up residence in a country, one of your friends from your FIFA days, that doesn't have an extradition agreement with the USA

Tuesday, June 02, 2015

FIFA's Masterclass In Buck Passing

When passing the buck, always pass it to a dead person.

Monday, June 01, 2015

Weather Forecasts

The weather forecasters have over the last month firstly predicted a hot summer for Britain, then a cold wet one and are now again predicting a hot one.

Their forecasts may be crap, but at least they have covered all of their bases!

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Friday, May 22, 2015

Thursday, May 21, 2015


A pox upon the banal shite that is Eurovision!

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Advice To Language Students

Don't sit on the farking stairs to Brighton beach, eating your chips, blocking them from being used by everyone else!

Tuesday, May 19, 2015


Thinking people are a threat to the status quo.

Monday, May 18, 2015

Death and Stupidity

Death and stupidity are similar.

A dead person doesn't know that he/she is dead, and a stupid person doesn't know that he/she is stupid.

Thursday, May 14, 2015

Question For My Cat

You are happy enough to use your cat flap to come in, but won't use it to go out why?

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Advice To The Eurozone

Now that the world sees your system for what it is (as exemplified by Greece), namely a farcical shell game, it is time to admit that currency unions all end in failure!

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Monday, May 11, 2015

Advice To Internet Trolls

The wee bridges you live under are easy to trace.

Friday, May 08, 2015

VE Day

As people celebrate/commiserate the General Election results, remember we are only in a position to do this because of the sacrifice made by millions some 70 years ago!

Thursday, May 07, 2015

Happy Election Day!

Today is election day in the UK.

Given that it will end in abject failure for all the main parties, be prepared to go through the whole process again by Christmas.

Wednesday, May 06, 2015

The Election Looms

Less than 24 hours until election day, when everyone loses!

Tuesday, May 05, 2015

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

When after Dreamies may I suggest that you ask a human to serve you, rather than trying to nick them in the middle of the night and knocking over the knife block (causing it to smash your bowl) in the process?

Friday, May 01, 2015

Spring Bank Holiday

The UK Spring Bank Holiday is almost upon us, heralded by howling freezing winds and a leaden sky!

Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Advice To Neighbourhood Cats

We are no longer offering free food and accommodation.

Tuesday, April 28, 2015


An individual's success, relative to those around him/her, is dependent not just on the actions of that individual but on those around him/her.

Those who have achieved success should be mindful that it is therefore partly dependent on those around them.

Monday, April 27, 2015


Porridge should be made with water, not milk, and should be eaten standing up.

Friday, April 24, 2015

Advice to Chefs

A piece of meat encased between two slabs of ciabatta is not a burger.

Wednesday, April 22, 2015


Psychopaths are intra species predators who tend to rise to the top of their respective feeding chains, eg business and politics.

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Live Dangerously

Live dangerously, never carry an umbrella!

Monday, April 20, 2015


Given that setting 3 brings a slice of bread to toasted perfection, why on earth do toasters need setting 6 which would clearly cremate anything put into the toaster?

Friday, April 17, 2015

Question For Charming Events

Regarding the 5 emails you sent me today wrt the following:

The best dates and venues always sell out early,
let us reserve your slot now

Christmas shared packages from just £129 pp + vat etc

Are you nuts?

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Sunshine and White Trousers

It is a fundamental law of the universe that as soon as I don my white trousers the sun becomes occluded by the clouds!

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Accurate Weather Forecasts

The weather forecasts for the last three days have been 100% accurate.

What the fark is going on??

Monday, April 13, 2015


For that authentic "reverse panda" look, never remove your sunglasses when out in the sunshine.

Thursday, April 09, 2015

Question For My Mobile Phone

Why do you run out of power at the very minute I need to use you?

Wednesday, April 08, 2015

Night Sweats

Night sweats are a most effective means of ridding the body of excess gin, whilst leaving the day free to consume more.

Tuesday, April 07, 2015

Weather Exuberance

Beware weather exuberance indulged in by the media eg "Britain set to be hotter than Athens", it is invariably bollocks!

Thursday, April 02, 2015

Easter Weather

As sure as eggs are eggs, the British Easter weekend weather looks like being absolute shite!

Wednesday, April 01, 2015

April Fool

Today being April Fools' Day, we have to endure the media thinking it is being very witty by inserting made up stories into the newsflow of reality.

Much like every other day of the week then!

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

National Hysteria

Beware national hysteria whipped up by politicians and the media.

Monday, March 30, 2015

Advice To Those Seeking Loans

When asking for credit ensure that you do it in the native tongue of those from whom you wish to borrow money.

Friday, March 27, 2015

Advice To The Weather Gods

All and sundry to whom I spoken this morning have said that it is really a lovely day, and it is indeed so.

Therefore I advise the weather gods not to fark it up by messing with the blue sky and sunshine, otherwise there will be a reckoning!

Thursday, March 26, 2015


You cannot hold a government to account, if you don't know what it is doing.

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

When The Chips Are Down

When the chips are down, cover them liberally in vinegar and salt to make life more palatable.

Tuesday, March 24, 2015


Shadows define your existence in the light of the sun.

Monday, March 23, 2015

Friday, March 20, 2015

Question For My HP Photosmart B110

Why do you always fark me around when I have an urgent scan/print to perform?

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

When you throw up in the kitchen during the night, please could you place a warning sign near the puke so that we don't step on it in the morning.

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Monday, March 16, 2015

Advice To Putin Conspiracy Theorists

Putin's staged "disappearance" is simple chaff, designed to divert everyone's attention from the Nemtsov murder.

Friday, March 13, 2015

Thursday, March 12, 2015

Advice To My HP Printer

Don't fark me around when I am in a hurry preparing for a meeting!

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Advice To Eden 4 Flowers

Fix your website!

In the run up to Mother's Day, it is "unwise" to redirect a customer to an error page when he/she attempts to pay for an order.

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Advice To Neighbourhood Cats

Please conduct your fights outwith our garden.

Monday, March 09, 2015


Always inspect your trousers for prominent gravy stains, before donning them.

Thursday, March 05, 2015

World Book Day

Happy World Book Day!

Do your brain and eyes a favour and read something in print, rather than online.

Wednesday, March 04, 2015

Tuesday, March 03, 2015

Conventional Exams

Conventional exams tend to favour those with conventional minds.

Monday, March 02, 2015

Advice To The Weather

Kindly make your mind up as to whether it will be rain or sun today!

Friday, February 27, 2015

Ongoing Advice To My Cat and Her Friends

I am trying to work, please could you conduct your shenanigans outside of the house!

Thursday, February 26, 2015

Flat Leaf Parsley

A pox upon flat leaf parsley, it neither has the flavour nor the longevity of curly leaf parsley.

I forbid you to use it!

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Advice To Luvvies

Stick to acting, and keep your noses out of real world issues such as taxation.

Tuesday, February 24, 2015


Smoking allegedly knocks a few years off of your life.

However, those years are at the tail end crappy part of your life. Hence, it is nothing to worry about!

Monday, February 23, 2015

Broken Clocks

Broken clocks are right twice a day.

Thus even the dimmest, most annoying individual can occasionally be correct.

Friday, February 20, 2015


A compromise is not a compromise if the "compromise" agreed does not resolve the differences between the parties involved, but instead gives them freedom to continue to pursue their own individual opposing agendas.

Thursday, February 19, 2015

Happy Lunar New Year

A very Happy Lunar New Year!

Today marks the year of the sheep or goat or even ram (depending on your translation).

The Chinese word yáng refers both to goats and sheep, with shānyáng specifically goats and miányáng sheep. In English, the sign may be called either. The interpretation of sheep or goat depends on culture.In Vietnamese, the sign is mui, which is unambiguously goat. In Japan, on the other hand, the sign is hitsuji, sheep; while in Korea and Mongolia the sign is also sheep or ram.

The sheep is an auspicious animal, and the Year of the Sheep, therefore, heralds a year of promise and prosperity.

吉慶有餘 Jíqìngyǒuyú - "May your happiness be without limit"

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Dead Flies

A room looks so much tidier when a dead fly that has lain undisturbed for a year or so is removed.

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Wednesday, February 11, 2015


Quarrels must be buried when the quarrellers are yoked together to the plough.

Tuesday, February 10, 2015


Beware mules who pose as men with principles.

Monday, February 09, 2015

Question For My Walls

Why the hell do you make it so difficult for us to hang pictures on you?

Friday, February 06, 2015


One flake of snow and the UK goes into doomwatch mode!

Thursday, February 05, 2015

Proxy Wars

Proxy wars are all very well in theory, if the side that you are funding/supplying and training is:

- competent
- trustworthy
- reliable
- not fanatical
- likely to win etc.

However, as is most often the case, those that are the proxies are never any of the above.

Wednesday, February 04, 2015

Kudos To My Cat

Kudos to my cat for vomiting her food back into her bowl, thus ensuring that there was no mess on the floor and enabling her to eat it later.

Tuesday, February 03, 2015

Rocks and Hard Places

When caught between a rock and a hard place, pick the rock up and bash the crap out of the hard place.

Monday, February 02, 2015

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

You will get piles if you keep pressing your bottom against the radiator.

Friday, January 30, 2015

Advice To My Never Ending Cold

Begone of your own free will, lest I take extreme measures and smite you with extreme prejudice!

Wednesday, January 28, 2015


Humans will always react to a situation in a human way (ie unpredictably). The reaction of animals is far easier to predict and manage.

Monday, January 26, 2015

Complex Systems

The more complex a system, the more prone it is to abuse.

Friday, January 23, 2015


War is the mother of all invention.

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Eyes Closed

Sometimes it is best to speak with one's eyes closed, so that one may see more clearly.

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Fark Off Windows!

Another day, another pc slowing Windows download!

Tuesday, January 20, 2015


Whiteboards are the tools of dictators.

Monday, January 19, 2015

The Joy of Windows

How kind of Microsoft to be forever tinkering with their current releases of Windows, by downloading regular updates onto my pcs that slow them down.

How I look forward to Windews10 which, I assume, will be error free and not require updating?

Friday, January 16, 2015

Thank You Windows

Thank you Windows for choosing to download stuff onto my pc, the process of which not only slowed the machine down to a snail's pace but caused my wireless connection to drop!

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Stained Trousers

It is a fundamental principle of the universe that stained trousers only become apparent at the precise moment you are leaving the house for an appointment/event.

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Spaghetti Bolognese

The sign of a quality spaghetti bolognese is a sauce spattered shirt and face after eating it.

Monday, January 12, 2015

Thursday, January 08, 2015

Advice To The Middle Aged

Don't shroud yourself in a self constructed shell of your own disappointment with your life.

Tuesday, January 06, 2015

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

When you feel you are about to throw up, please vacate the duvet on our bed (especially when we are still sleeping underneath it).

Monday, January 05, 2015

New Year's Resolutions

New Year's resolutions are a thoroughly pointless exercise and an utter waste of time!