Runny Porridge

Curses!

My porridge was too runny this morning!

Advice To Economists, Analysts and Politicians

The markets will always outsmart you!

Advice To Idiots

Don't take photos of yourselves and your kids by the corpses of beached whales.

Would you take a photo of yourself by road kill?

Use some common sense for heaven's sake!

Happy Burn's Night!

Happy Burn's Night to all my Scottish friends.

Advice To Avast and Microsoft

Please fix the conflict between your two systems, as I am fed up with seeing "start and Cortana critical error" when I activate Windows 10.

Wanting vs Willing

There is a vast difference between wanting to do something, and willing to do something.

Advice To The BBC Re Top Gear

When hiring new presenters of Top Gear, make sure they don't suffer from car sickness!

The Twitter Outage

Did the sun fail to rise?

Did the earth stop spinning on its axis?

No!

Get over the Twitter outage!

Blue Monday

The media would have us believe that today is "Blue Monday", the most depressing day of the year.

In the event that you feel this to be the case the solution is simple, stay in bed and sleep your way through it until Tuesday dawns.

Simples!

Porridge

Never disturb me when I am eating my porridge!

Advice To The U.S. Navy

Use compasses and oars when sailing small craft in the Persian Gulf.

Porridge

On such a chilly day, it is advisable to increase your porridge consumption.

Weakness vs Playing Politics

Weakness and playing politics are two sides of the same coin.