Thursday, August 31, 2017
Soft Cop vs Hard Cop
The soft cop vs hard cop routine only works if both the soft and hard cop are aware of their roles and had coordinated them beforehand.
Wednesday, August 30, 2017
A Watched Inbox Never Pings
True as it was for kettles boiling, so it is also true for email and text inboxes; watch them and they will never ping!
Tuesday, August 29, 2017
Always Check Your Red Stripe Cans For Wasps!
During this unexpected warm spell, I cannot emphasise too much the necessity of checking your Red Stripe cans for wasps!
Friday, August 25, 2017
Happy Bank Holiday Weekend!
Enjoy the Bank Holiday weekend everyone, and the unusually pleasant (non raining) weather!
Thursday, August 24, 2017
Advice To White Goods Retailers
Don't call me up after I have placed the order online to try to sell me insurance etc.
Had I wanted insurance I would have ordered it with the product, and had I wanted to talk to a salesman I would have ordered the product by phone!
Had I wanted insurance I would have ordered it with the product, and had I wanted to talk to a salesman I would have ordered the product by phone!
Wednesday, August 23, 2017
Advice To Microsoft
Stop sending updates to my phone that don't work, screw the memory and performance up and force me to reset it!
Tuesday, August 22, 2017
Up and Atom!
Come on everyone, get off your backsides and tackle the day head on.
No procrastination!
Monday, August 21, 2017
Advice To The US Navy
This is the ship that the USS McCain collided with: a 600-foot-long oil tanker with a deadweight of 50,000 tons https://t.co/UQKkEFQBCI pic.twitter.com/rEnCH54D9X— Anna Fifield (@annafifield) August 21, 2017
Post lookouts who can actually see, and install ship's wheels on your vessels!
Oh, and train your crew to use a fucking sextant. Don't rely on GPS!
Thursday, August 17, 2017
Advice To The President of The United States
You cannot run a country, nor manage foreign policy, on anger alone!
Wednesday, August 16, 2017
It's Too Quiet
Beware when two blunderbusses stop throwing public insults at each other.
Something's brewing!
Something's brewing!
Tuesday, August 15, 2017
Absurd Leaders and Absurd Situations
Sometimes absurd situations require absurd leaders in order to resolve them!
Monday, August 14, 2017
Monday Morning Sunshine
Beware today's pleasant sunny Monday morning, the weather gods are lulling you into a false sense of security!
Friday, August 11, 2017
Advice To Drivers Re Speed Humps
When approaching a speed hump, always ensure that you accelerate in order to maximise your chances of knackering your suspension and wrecking your exhaust pipe!
Thursday, August 10, 2017
The Nirvana of Paranoia
The nirvana of paranoia can only be reached when to tell your shadow to walk in front of you.
Wednesday, August 09, 2017
Wouldn't It Be Nice?
Wouldn't it be nice if one day the world could wake up to news headlines that do not include threats of destruction and annihilation made by one country's leader to another?
Tuesday, August 08, 2017
Threats As A Precursor To Negotiations
Threats, sanctions and sabre rattling are all well and good as a precursor to negotiations, maybe. However, negotiations will never commence without there being an "off ramp" from the threats!
Monday, August 07, 2017
Friday, August 04, 2017
Thursday, August 03, 2017
Summer 2017 - A Damp Squid
This summer is turning into a really large damp squid!
However, it is unwise to place the expectation of sunshine during summer onto a pedal stool.
Wednesday, August 02, 2017
Advice Re Shoes
Always, always check your shoes for venomous insects, reptiles and other assorted creatures before putting them on.
I cannot emphasise that enough!
Tuesday, August 01, 2017
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