Ken's Blue Blog
Musings on "the bleedin' obvious"; views on the meaning of life, or anything else that takes my fancy.

Wednesday, June 30, 2004


One of the many failings of modern society, is the failure to teach its offspring that for every action taken there are consequences.

Without understanding that actions give rise to consequences, future generations are woefully unprepared for life; and all that it has to throw at them.

Tuesday, June 29, 2004


Swamps and political parties are much alike.

Build a swamp, and watch the poisons hatch out; the same applies for political parties and their "inhabitants".

Monday, June 28, 2004

The Flame

The flame is always at its brightest just before it is extinguished.

Thursday, June 24, 2004


Have you ever considered how different the world would have been if Sir Walter Raleigh, when he brought back tobacco and potatoes to Britain in the 16th century, had told people to eat tobacco and smoke potatoes?

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

The Undiscovered Country

The future is the undiscovered country, towards which we should set our sights.

Do not dwell in the past, it has nothing to offer.

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

Old vs Young

There is a very simple reason for the age old battle between the young and the old.

The young don't know or care about what it is like to be old, and the old have forgotten what it is like to be young.

Monday, June 21, 2004

The Wheel

The wheel is one of mankind's most outstanding inventions.

Why is this?

Simple, it is one of the few ideas man has had which he did not copy from nature.

After all, how many animals do you see with wheels?

Sunday, June 20, 2004

How to Eat Spaghetti

Many people are confused as to how they should eat spaghetti. I am happy to make a ruling on this matter.

Spaghetti should be eaten by twisting it around a fork, and slurping it into your mouth.

A plentiful supply of generously proportioned napkins should be on hand.

All clear?

Saturday, June 19, 2004

Yorkshire Pudding

Yorkshire pudding should be cooked under the joint, in a roasting tray. This way it will absorb the juices and flavours of the meat, and remain flat like a pancake.

Yorkshire puddings that are cooked in individual moulds, separately from the meat, puff up and are bland and tasteless.

Friday, June 18, 2004


The world would be a far more civilised place if people would say "pardon", instead of "what".

Thursday, June 17, 2004

Peace in The Middle East

Peace in the Middle East will never be achieved, as long as the occupants of that troubled land are settling old scores from battles that ended several thousand years ago.

Knock it off guys; look to the future, and get on with your lives.

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

The Solution to Drunken Yobbery

I have thought long and hard about how to tackle the current epidemic of drunken yobbery, seen in many of our city centres each weekend.

I have now come up with the solution, which I ask to be implemented without delay.

Those convicted of drunken antisocial behaviour should have their foreheads stamped with an indelible ink message, for a period of time to be determined by the courts.

The message would read:

"I am a drunken yob"

Those people with this sign on their foreheads would be refused admission to pubs and clubs. Those pubs and clubs that were found to be allowing them access, would have their licences revoked.

At the end of the punishment period, the sign would be removed.

Simple, cheap but 100% effective!

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

Green Leaves

As much as I may like the colour green, I find the preponderance of this colour in nature to be excessive.

I would like to see a more pleasing selection of colours.

Arrange this someone please.

Monday, June 14, 2004

Time Waits for No Man

Time waits for no man, or so the saying goes.

However, if this is the case, how is it that my alarm clock has stopped working?

Sunday, June 13, 2004

Reality TV

The explosion of reality TV shows, featuring third rate wannabee celebrities with limited intellectual and social skills, clearly demonstrates that there is a dearth of creative talent in network TV.

The shows, their participants and their creators should be banished from our lives immediately.

Saturday, June 12, 2004


Legs are a brilliant invention.

They are an economical, environmentally friendly and efficient method of getting from A to B.

Use them more often, instead of your car.

Friday, June 11, 2004


Supermarkets stock overpriced "plastic" food that, in the case of meat, is far too fresh.

Use farmers' markets, and good butcher's shops, instead.

Thursday, June 10, 2004

Wednesday, June 09, 2004

The Essence of Man

What does it take to change the essence of man?


Tuesday, June 08, 2004


Reality is to be faced, not avoided.

Pull your heads out of the sand, and walk boldly and confidently towards your destiny.

Monday, June 07, 2004


Pigeons have the entire planet to fly around, and use as their toilet; yet they choose Trafalgar Square as their defecation point of choice.


Sunday, June 06, 2004


Make sure that you include plenty of fibre in your diet. This is of great benefit, and assistance, to your bowels.

Healthy bowels mean a healthy life, and a sunny and cheerful disposition.

Saturday, June 05, 2004

The Cornish Pasty

Let us sing the praises of the Cornish Pasty. A pastry pillow parcel filled with meat, potatoes, onions and vegetables.

One of the world's first fast foods; and infinitely more nutritious, tasty and wholesome.

Eat one today!

Friday, June 04, 2004


Water finds its own level, or so the saying goes.

If that is the case, why is it that it is always raining in the UK but never in the Atlantic?

Thursday, June 03, 2004

The Perfect Exam Answer

A candidate, sitting a history exam, was asked to write all that he knew about Henry III.

He wrote nothing.

Now that is the perfect answer, and deserves a score of 100%.

Wednesday, June 02, 2004

The Perfect Exam

Educational experts, businessmen and politicians constantly bicker about what constitutes a good method of examining and grading students.

Forget about three hour structured tests and case studies, that focus on peoples' abilities to regurgitate "crammed" facts.

Put the candidate in a room for 24 hours, with an unlimited supply of paper. Ask the candidate to write all he/she knows about absolutely everything.

Now that's the perfect exam.

Tuesday, June 01, 2004


It is often said that patience is a virtue.

However, there are those who seek to take advantage of this by relying on peoples' natural reluctance to complain about poor service and late deliveries.

So don't always be patient, stand up and complain.