Ongoing Advice To My Cat

Pussycat!

Did you not read my advice of yesterday, wrt your 3AM morning parade?

This morning's addition to the 3AM routine, of jumping on and off the bed with your toy moose, was really OTT!

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

As endearing as the "morning parade" is (where you jump up on the bed, walk up and down purring and pat my nose in the expectation that I will get up and feed you), holding the parade at 3AM this morning was a tad too early.

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

I know I that I have spoken to you before about this, but there really is nothing up our fireplace chimney that could be of the remotest interest to you.

Honestly!

Rail Upgrades

Promising upgrades in train rolling stock that will not be in situ until 2019 is taking the piss, even by the lousy standards that the long suffering rail traveller has had to endure over the decades.

Question For The Government

Why, if we are already contributing to the IMF (which in turn is partly contributing to the Irish bailout), do we need to offer a separate bilateral loan to Ireland?

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

Please be advised that my nose is not a "servants' bell" to be pushed when you are hungry, most especially when I am asleep in bed.

Question For The Pope

If condoms are now deemed by the church (under certain circumstances) to help reduce the spread of HIV, how is it that they weren't deemed to be of any use before?

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

Please wear slippers when running up and down our wooden stairs in the middle of the night.

Advice To Businessmen

Beware those who proffer a "solution" to a business issue that provides the "least grief to everyone".

Invariably those who proffer such a "solution" are only thinking of reducing their "grief".

Advice To BBC Headline Writers

Re "World Delighted at Royal Engagement Announcement", most of the people of the world are blissfully unaware of the announcement and have no idea as to who Prince William and Kate Middleton are.

The Future

The future beckons, so do not remain stuck in the past.

Advice To The British People

Avoid "recreational grief", it is neither becoming nor healthy.

The Measure of a Man

The measure of a man's life can be gauged by the effect that he has on others.

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

Please, during one of your extended purring and biscuit making sessions, could you pause and wipe your mouth before you dribble over me.

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

The wind is not a threat to your health and safety.

Advice To The Manufacturers of Toilets

Please adjust the sensitivity (downwards) of motion detection flush mechanisms.

Mistakes

Those who never make mistakes, never achieve or produce anything.

The Interent

Is it me/my pc/Virgin, or is the internet running really slowly today?

Advice To The Republican Party

Now that you have won the House of Representatives, on the back of popular public discontent with the pace of change, you now have to come up with some policies that actually work.

Simply blocking every piece of legislation put forward by the Democrats, and saying that the deficit and taxes can be reduced at the same time are not policies that are viable or credible.

Agendas

Never allow others to set the agenda.

Advice To Businessmen

Beware doing business with people who, when asked a direct question, seek to lose you in a "wilderness of mirrors" via their answer.

Advice To Businessmen

Beware of doing business with politicians, they invariably "jump ship" at times of crisis in order to avoid being blamed for any problems that have arisen.