Money

Too much is never enough!

The Big Lie of The Consumer Society

The big lie being foisted on consumers, by finance companies, is the idea that you can borrow your way out of debt.

Absolute tosh, and guaranteed to place the hapless debtor in deeper financial distress.

Do not fall for it.

At some stage you will have to pay your debt back; the "ostrich" approach of burying you head in the sand and borrowing more, in the hope that the debt will go away, does not work.

Management Skills

It is widely assumed, by those outside of the world of business, that those in management are skilled individuals who are competent at their jobs.

Unfortunately, many are not.

They are merely sheep who follow the herd and the latest management technique gimmick, sold to them by management theory "experts".

Junk Mail

Do the people who create junk mail feel proud of what they do, given the fact that they know in advance that over 90% of their "product" is trashed immediately?

Vacuous Thinking

Genuine quote from a shopper interviewed on TV:

"I would quite like that bag, if I knew the brand name".

In other words, she only buys products for their brand name; the quality and style of the products are irrelevant.

The person has not the wit, or the confidence, to make up her own mind about the quality and design of the product; she needs the "crutch" of the brand name to help her make the decision.

My advice to you all is simple, break free from the tyranny of the marketing men and brand names; buy what you want, not what you are told to buy.

Shoes

Keep your shoes well polished.

Scruffy, unkempt, shoes are a sign of an unkempt and disorganised mind.

Marketing Con Tricks II

"Easy to open package"

Haah!

Marketing Con Tricks

"New Improved"

The above phrase actually means:

"We have tweaked the formula and design a bit; in order to justify raising the price, whilst trying to arrest the decline in sales".

Don't fall for this con.

Teenage Yobs

The only way to tackle the teenage yob element in society is for parents to act as parents, and not to let their offspring run wild like feral animals.

The trouble is that many of the parents of these teenage yobs cannot be bothered; as it would simply be too much effort, and would distract them from their prime raison d'etre namely watching TV.

Here's the solution, ban both the parents and the kids from watching TV.

The vacuum in their lives, produced by the lack of their TV sedative, would force them to address the issue of their failure to act as responsible parents.

Lies of Our Time

"I'll call you back"

"I will pay you at the end of the month"

"The troops will be home for Christmas"

Religion and Politics

Religion and politics do not mix.

Never trust, or vote for, a politician who prays regularly and invokes God in his/her speeches.

These people put faith above logic, argument and pragmatism. The are extremely dangerous; they are, in effect, as dangerous as fanatical terrorists.

They will lead you down the path of destruction, as they blindly follow their misplaced faith in their own moral certainty.

Cheese

Eat a lump of cheese on a daily basis.

It is an excellent source of protein; it also reduces the acidity level in your mouth, thereby lessening the chances of decay.

Consumerism

Consumerism, and all that goes with it such as; buying brand names purely for the label, marketing worthless products and changing products' functionality and appearance purely to stimulate more sales, is a con trick of staggering proportions.

The West's addiction to, and reliance on, consumption as the panacea for all ills is self destructive:

1 It absorbs scarce resources.

2 It pollutes the environment.

3 It is unsustainable.

4 It diverts peoples' money and attention away from necessities such as; health care and education.

5 It creates an addictive dysfunctional society, constantly looking for new thrills and experiences; never satisfied, or happy with their lives.

Cats

Cats are very wise; they do as little as possible for themselves, they sleep through most of the day whilst their human owners feed and pamper them.

This is the very lifestyle that many humans seek to emulate.

Promises

Don't make promises that you can't keep!

The Most Hated Phrase in The English Language

"We regret to announce the cancellation of..."

A Career in Dentistry

Not a suitable career choice for alcoholics with severe tremors.

The Tongue

We are born with:

-Two eyes, to see better with

-Two ears, to hear better with

-One tongue, to listen better with

Pensions

The solution to the current crisis over pensions is very simple.

Simply raise the retirement age.

Why should you expect to live for more than twenty years, without working to support yourself?

Advice To Politicians' Tailors

When tailoring suits for well known politicians, always allow room in the jacket for the following:

-A wire
-A bullet proof undergarment
-A brace to improve posture

Sloppy tailoring exposes these devices to the prying eyes of the press, and the hapless politician to the ridicule and contempt of the public.

Please and Thank You

Life would be made much more pleasant, and less fractious, if people remembered to use the phrases "please" and "thank you" more often.

Improve the quality of your life, and of those around you, use "please" and "thank you" today.

Life on Earth

Life on earth can be categorised into the following hierarchy, number 1 being the top:

1 Human beings
2 Animals
3 Plants
4 Bacteria
5 Estate agents
6 Recruitment consultants

Astrology

Bunkum and Balderdash!

Ginger

Ginger is a most marvellous substance.

It adds flavour and body to your food. Additionally, it is excellent for the digestion; soothing many stomach troubles.

Let's hear it for Ginger!

No More Excuses

When things don't go your way, and life serves you a plate of shit, don't blame others or society.

Identify the causes of the problem, and take the appropriate corrective measures.

Playing the "blame game" is merely an excuse to avoid addressing your own personal issue.

Commercial Space Travel

The prospect of "ordinary people" being able to travel in space, if they are rich enough, has moved one step closer.

You can count me out, travelling by plane is uncomfortable and inconvenient enough. The mere thought of being weightless in a cramped rocket, would render the inconsequential sick bag more than inadequate.

History

Those that ignore their history are very often run over by it.

Weather Presenters

A note of advice to those TV weather presenters who do outside broadcasts.

When you are reading your script, and telling the disbelieving viewer that the weather is sunny and bright, may I suggest that you take a look up towards the sky before you speak.

Invariably, you will see that it is grey and overcast.

Attending to "little details" like that will make all the difference to the credibility of your broadcast.

Honour

Those that don't honour agreements, made in good faith, are worthless individuals who deserve to be ostracised by society.

Cheating

We were always told at school that cheating in exams was wrong.

Yet, those who get away with it are in fact demonstrating creative thinking and above average intelligence.

Cheating should be encouraged by schools.

Celebrities

Celebrities are lauded in the media, and by their adoring fans; we are led to believe that their every action, and utterance, is of the utmost importance.

Yet what precisely is a celebrity?

Here is a simple definition:

A celebrity is an empty vessel, into which the media and public pour their unfulfilled dreams and ambitions.