Friday, December 24, 2021
Ken's Christmas Crackers - Merry Christmas!
Thursday, December 23, 2021
Ken's Christmas Crackers - Stuff Your Bird!
Remember to give your bird a good stuffing this Christmas!
Wednesday, December 22, 2021
Ken's Christmas Crackers - Mind Your Nuts!
Tuesday, December 21, 2021
Monday, December 20, 2021
Friday, December 17, 2021
Ken's Christmas Crackers - The True Meaning of Christmas
Thursday, December 16, 2021
Ken's Christmas Crackers - The Joy of Gift Giving
Wednesday, December 15, 2021
Ken's Christmas Crackers - Get Your Brasso Out!
Get your Brasso out, and polish your artefacts.
Christmas isn't Christmas without a shiny artefact on the mantelpiece, or in front of the fire!
Tuesday, December 14, 2021
Monday, December 13, 2021
Ken's Christmas Crackers - Decisions Made at Christmas
Important decisions (eg personal, business, financial, political etc) made or authorised in the fortnight before Christmas always come back to bite you on the arse in the new year!
Friday, December 10, 2021
Ken's Christmas Crackers - Christmas Lights
Thursday, December 09, 2021
Wednesday, December 08, 2021
Ken's Christmas Crackers - Sanity Clause
Tuesday, December 07, 2021
Monday, December 06, 2021
Ken's Christmas Crackers - The Big Bastard Ham Pot
In order to ensure that you have the means to cook a decent sized ham for Christmas, ensure that you have a big bastard pot to cook it in.
Mine is 37 litres, and measures over 14 inches in diameter!
Friday, December 03, 2021
Ken's Christmas Crackers - The Traditional Christmas Cucumber
Christmas isn't Christmas until you have erected the traditional Christmas cucumber and decorated it with some really crap lights!
Thursday, December 02, 2021
Ken's Christmas Crackers - How To Deal With a Threadbare Tree
In the unfortunate event you have a threadbare tree, distract people's attention by placing a large stone statue of Nelson on the top of it.
Wednesday, December 01, 2021
Tuesday, November 30, 2021
Ken's Christmas Crackers - Guide To A Covid Free Christmas
1 Don't listen to politicians or "experts"
2 Don't watch BBC News
3 Don't read the papers
4 Mute Peston
5 Spurn Stalin's Nanny and FAKE SAGE
6 Turn off Twitter
7 Don't share fake Covid news on Facebook
Monday, November 29, 2021
Question For Nicola Sturgeon
Now that 6 cases of Omicron have been detected in Scotland (despite your mask mandates and vax passports), will you be closing your border to protect the English?
Friday, November 26, 2021
Advice To The French Police
If you slash a hole in the dinghies before they enter the water, they won't be able to go in the water and you will save lives!
Thursday, November 25, 2021
Ken's Christmas Crackers - Sprouts
Given that Christmas is only one month away, it is vital that you start boiling your sprouts now.
Remember to add lots of salt to the water and ensure that they are hard boiling, in order to ensure that every last morsel of goodness, flavour and texture is destroyed.
Wednesday, November 24, 2021
A Path Well Trodden
Tuesday, November 23, 2021
Monday, November 22, 2021
Friday, November 19, 2021
Advice to Wannabe Celebs, Sports People and Influencers etc
Gaining the media spotlight may not be everything that you had hoped for.
Once the media have built you up, it will most assuredly tear you down and expose every wart and indiscretion!
Thursday, November 18, 2021
Question for The SNP
Exactly what constitutes "only a small number of beheadings"?
This young woman has been prevented by returning home by a heartless Tory government.— Callum Bruce SNP 🏴 (@CallumBruceSNP) November 14, 2021
She witnessed only a small number of beheadings, and with our independence, Scotland would welcome her and allow her to vote.
She has apologised, it’s time to move on! https://t.co/9m1KNnRn4Q
Wednesday, November 17, 2021
The Arc of History
Tuesday, November 16, 2021
Twitter Finally Abandons Its Auto Refresh Feature
After countless complaints from its users over the past few months, Twitter appears to have finally abandoned its absurd auto refresh feature that it foisted onto its hapless users a few months ago.
About bloody time!
Monday, November 15, 2021
Advice To Priti Patel
When hiring the replacement for the departing head of the UK Border Force, don't hire someone who thinks that borders are a "pain in the arse"!
Friday, November 12, 2021
Nice Weather if You're a Duck!
The phrase "nice weather if you're a duck" is often used when the weather if wet and miserable.
However, I have yet to see a duck that looks happy in wet miserable weather;, they are clearly happier when the sun is shining!
Thursday, November 11, 2021
Lest We Forget
Wednesday, November 10, 2021
Remember folks it's not proper Pesto if it's not made from olive oil, pine kernels, garlic and DOP Parmigiano Reggiano!
Tuesday, November 09, 2021
Mitigation of the effects of climate change is a far better strategy than the current Canute strategy of reversing it!
Monday, November 08, 2021
Friday, November 05, 2021
Happy Guy Fawkes' Night
Thursday, November 04, 2021
24 Hours is a Long Time in Politics!
Pleased to be reappointed to my role as PPS to Michael Gove. Busy department and work to get on with. #LevellingUp— Angela Richardson MP (@AJRichardsonMP) November 4, 2021
Wednesday, November 03, 2021
Advice To Inseminate Britain Activists
Instead of gluing yourselves to roads, thereby stopping ordinary people from going to work or hospitals, why not glue yourself to Bezos's rocket?
Tuesday, November 02, 2021
George Smiley Nails It!
We could replace the police with scarecrows. https://t.co/c8HOdPcxoV— George Smiley (@364690) November 2, 2021
Monday, November 01, 2021
Advice To Jon Snow
Friday, October 29, 2021
BLACK SWAN ALERT - North Korea
Kim Jong-un tells starving North Koreans to feast on 'delicious' black swan https://t.co/S4SBUbITHG— The Sun (@TheSun) October 29, 2021
Wednesday, October 27, 2021
Revenge is Sweet!
Tuesday, October 26, 2021
Egg Delivery Day Today - Let Joy Be Untrammelled!
Get a free £10 credit for The Good Egg Fellas. Use coupon: REFFKUF2B7RY9 https://t.co/viYI3PB2Br— Ken Frost (@ken_frost) October 25, 2021
Monday, October 25, 2021
The Universe Reveals Its Secrets To Me - The Vacuum Hose Clip
Until last week I didn't know that there are hose clips on my vacuum cleaner, one on the side and one on the bottom.
Ever so slowly the universe is revealing its secrets to me!