Title

Ken's Blue Blog
Musings on "the bleedin' obvious"; views on the meaning of life, or anything else that takes my fancy.

Monday, September 20, 2021

Monday Morning

Monday morning can be brutal at times!

Friday, September 17, 2021

When in Doubt

 

When in doubt, charge full steam ahead and hang the consequences!

Thursday, September 16, 2021

Whiter Than a Swan's Feathers


 

A lady complimented me on my trousers in the park yesterday, noting that they were whiter than a swan's feathers (the park is home to several swans), she went on to ask how I keep them so white.

I have six identical pairs.

Simples!

Monday, September 13, 2021

Instinct


 

Always rely on your instinct, even if your brain tries to override it!

Wednesday, September 08, 2021

What If?


  "What if?" is not the way to run your life!

Friday, September 03, 2021

How NOT To Make a Speech!

Thursday, September 02, 2021

Witches


  Don't fear witches, fear those who burned and drowned them!

Wednesday, September 01, 2021

Biden's Dunkirk Spirit - Conveniently Forgetting...Ermm..Dunkirk!

 

Apart from Dunkirk, there was also the Berlin airlift during the Soviet blockade, the evacuation of Manhattan on 9/11, the safe airlift evacuation of about 170,000 Indians from Kuwait during the 1990 Invasion of Kuwait to name but a few that were also pretty bloody impressive!

Tuesday, August 31, 2021

Expertise Is a Transient Thing

 

A month ago, everyone on social media was an expert in virology.

A week ago, they were experts on Afghanistan.

Today, they are experts on the global road haulage industry.

Where will tomorrow take us?

Friday, August 27, 2021

RIP

 

Wednesday, August 25, 2021

How To Recognise a Shithole From Afar


 

How to recognise a shithole from afar......

When the country's spokesman says this:

"“Our security forces are not trained how to deal with women, how to speak to women … Until we have full security in place … we ask women to stay home,”

Tuesday, August 24, 2021

Dental Prep


 

At midday today I have to go to the dentist, in order to have the veneer that fell off one of my upper central incisors replaced.

I have as much love of going to the dentist as I do of having a jab. Therefore, in accordance with custom and practice, I am deploying the vodka!

Friday, August 20, 2021

Who Is Running The Taliban's PR Campaign?


 

The Taliban is running a sophisticated PR campaign on multiple platforms and in multiple languages, trying to soft soap the world that they are now "respectable" and that they are people that you can "do business with".

The question is, who is running/advising them on their campaign?

Tuesday, August 17, 2021

America First!


 

An angry, bitter and possibly senile old man has just thrown America, its allies and the rest of the world under the bus.

In the coming months he will step down because of "health reasons", leaving his successors to try to clean up the mess he has created.

Monday, August 16, 2021

Advice To Biden

 



Put your clocks right, the time difference between London and Moscow in Summer is 2 hours not 3!

Friday, August 13, 2021

Charity and Dignity

 

When offering an individual (as opposed to a charitable organisation of overpaid executives) a charitable act/contribution, be sure to wrap that offer in a generous layer of dignity.

Wednesday, August 11, 2021

Throwing The Toys Out of The Pram

In order to throw the toys out of the pram, the baby/third world dictator has to have them in the pram in the first place.

Thus, if you want to stop the toys from being thrown out of the pram, don't put them in the pram in the first place!

Tuesday, August 10, 2021

Covid Test Companies Are Shite


 

They are taking the piss!

Monday, August 09, 2021

Beware When Governments Use The Word "Temporary"


Beware when governments use the word "temporary".

"Temporary" tends to last for many years!

Friday, August 06, 2021

Printers


 

Why do printers take so long to clear heir throats before telling you that you have run out of paper/ink?

Thursday, August 05, 2021

The Right Track


 

Being on the right track is excellent, as far as it goes. However, you should be careful to avoid being run over by the oncoming train!

Wednesday, August 04, 2021

Advice To Government Ministers

 


Follow the example of the criminal community, and use burner phones when you want to keep those "special" messages private from the prying eyes of the police/parliamentary investigators.

Tuesday, August 03, 2021

Consensus Models Are Worse Than Worthless


 

Consensus models that combine optimistic and pessimistic models are worse than worthless, and most certainly should not be used for planning or forecasting.

Yet, these are the very models that the government have been using to manage the Covid outbreak!

Monday, August 02, 2021

Question for FAKE SAGE


 

You are normally very keen to hold doom laden press conferences highlighting your version of "facts" and your projections of an imminent apocalypse.

Yet, for the last couple of weeks you have been unusually quiet.

Will you be holding a press conference to apologise for your wildly incorrect projections and your fear inducing announcements?

Thursday, July 29, 2021

Rainy Day Tasks


 

Putting off tasks to a "rainy day" is the ideal way of ensuring that those tasks are never done, for on a rainy day you are always waiting for the rain to stop.

Wednesday, July 28, 2021

The Eight Levels of Wealth

 


1 Destitute

2 Skint
 
3 Barely making ends meet
 
4 Making ends meet
 
5 Comfortably off
 
6 Wealthy
 
7 Loads of money
 
8 Fuck off money

 

Tuesday, July 27, 2021

Advice To Wayne Rooney


 

Don't fall asleep when you have lady guests in your hotel bedroom; not only is it rude, it also paves the way for photographic shenanigans!

Thursday, July 22, 2021

Wednesday, July 21, 2021

Advice To The Douche of Sussex


 

Writing a book about your relatively short life to date is not the best way to avoid being in the media spotlight.

You are of course entitled to your own opinions, but not your own version of facts!

Tuesday, July 20, 2021

The United Pingdom - Pseudo Unlocking


 

Given that millions of adults and children are at home, because they have been pinged, Freedom Day isn't exactly what it says on the tin!

Monday, July 19, 2021

#FreedomDay = #ChoiceDay


 

Respect people's right to make choices today (eg wrt wearing/not wearing masks, clubbing/not clubbing etc).

Do not judge them or mock them because they have made a different choice to you!

Thursday, July 15, 2021

Advice To Those Suntanning


 

When suntanning it is advisable to remove your face mask from around your chin, otherwise you will end up with a a white mask shape on your chin and look even more of a twat than you did when you were wearing your mask in the sun!

Wednesday, July 14, 2021

Tuesday, July 13, 2021

The Covid Models are BOLLOCKS!


 

The above is taken from the Imperial model which the government uses to "foretell" the Covid future.

The mid range shows expected daily infections to hit almost 1 million.

This is beyond ludicrous, as there is no way that infections will ever hit that number.

It is little wonder that government has lost all confidence in the models being presented to it.

The models are utter BOLLOCKS!

Friday, July 09, 2021

A Broken Path

 

A broken path yields many flowers and weeds.

The trick is being able to distinguish between them!

Thursday, July 08, 2021

Wednesday, July 07, 2021

Advice To Students

If you are not given face to face lectures and tutorials with other students, there is little point in paying for and attending university!

Friday, July 02, 2021

Pundits


 

 One pundit's victory is another pundit's failure!

Thursday, July 01, 2021

Scraping Tartar


 

There's nothing like a bit of tooth tartar scraping to set you up for the day ahead!

Monday, June 28, 2021

Advice To Ministers


 

Make sure you know where all the cctv cams are in your office!