Ken's Blue Blog
Musings on "the bleedin' obvious"; views on the meaning of life, or anything else that takes my fancy.

Friday, December 24, 2021

Thursday, December 23, 2021

Ken's Christmas Crackers - Stuff Your Bird!

Remember to give your bird a good stuffing this Christmas!

Wednesday, December 15, 2021

Ken's Christmas Crackers - Get Your Brasso Out!


Get your Brasso out, and polish your artefacts.

Christmas isn't Christmas without a shiny artefact on the mantelpiece, or in front of the fire!

Monday, December 13, 2021

Ken's Christmas Crackers - Decisions Made at Christmas


Important decisions (eg personal, business, financial, political etc) made or authorised in the fortnight before Christmas always come back to bite you on the arse in the new year!

Monday, December 06, 2021

Ken's Christmas Crackers - The Big Bastard Ham Pot


In order to ensure that you have the means to cook a decent sized ham for Christmas, ensure that you have a big bastard pot to cook it in.

Mine is 37 litres, and measures over 14 inches in diameter!

Friday, December 03, 2021

Ken's Christmas Crackers - The Traditional Christmas Cucumber


Christmas isn't Christmas until you have erected the traditional Christmas cucumber and decorated it with some really crap lights!

Thursday, December 02, 2021

Ken's Christmas Crackers - How To Deal With a Threadbare Tree

In the unfortunate event you have a threadbare tree, distract people's attention by placing a large stone statue of Nelson on the top of it.

Tuesday, November 30, 2021

Ken's Christmas Crackers - Guide To A Covid Free Christmas


1 Don't listen to politicians or "experts"

2 Don't watch BBC News

3 Don't read the papers

4 Mute Peston

5 Spurn Stalin's Nanny and FAKE SAGE

6 Turn off Twitter

7 Don't share fake Covid news on Facebook

Monday, November 29, 2021

Question For Nicola Sturgeon


Now that 6 cases of Omicron have been detected in Scotland (despite your mask mandates and vax passports), will you be closing your border to protect the English?

Friday, November 26, 2021

Advice To The French Police

If you slash a hole in the dinghies before they enter the water, they won't be able to go in the water and you will save lives!

Thursday, November 25, 2021

Ken's Christmas Crackers - Sprouts


Given that Christmas is only one month away, it is vital that you start boiling your sprouts now.

Remember to add lots of salt to the water and ensure that they are hard boiling, in order to ensure that every last morsel of goodness, flavour and texture is destroyed.

Wednesday, November 24, 2021

A Path Well Trodden

  A path well trodden does not always get you to the place that you want to be.

Tuesday, November 23, 2021

The Fool

  The fool is the wisest man in the royal court!

Monday, November 22, 2021

Black Friday


It's only Monday, but I am already sick to death of Black Friday!

Friday, November 19, 2021

Advice to Wannabe Celebs, Sports People and Influencers etc


Gaining the media spotlight may not be everything that you had hoped for.

Once the media have built you up, it will most assuredly tear you down and expose every wart and indiscretion!

Thursday, November 18, 2021

Question for The SNP


Exactly what constitutes "only a small number of beheadings"?

Wednesday, November 17, 2021

Tuesday, November 16, 2021

Twitter Finally Abandons Its Auto Refresh Feature


After countless complaints from its users over the past few months, Twitter appears to have finally abandoned its absurd auto refresh feature that it foisted onto its hapless users a few months ago.

About bloody time!

Monday, November 15, 2021

Advice To Priti Patel


When hiring the replacement for the departing head of the UK Border Force, don't hire someone who thinks that borders are a "pain in the arse"!

Friday, November 12, 2021

Nice Weather if You're a Duck!


The phrase "nice weather if you're a duck" is often used when the weather if wet and miserable.

However, I have yet to see a duck that looks happy in wet miserable weather;, they are clearly happier when the sun is shining!

Wednesday, November 10, 2021

Proper Pesto


Remember folks it's not proper Pesto if it's not made from olive oil, pine kernels, garlic and DOP Parmigiano Reggiano!

Tuesday, November 09, 2021

Climate Change


Mitigation of the effects of climate change is a far better strategy than the current Canute strategy of reversing it!

Monday, November 08, 2021

Defined Paths


Defined paths are not always the best routes to take!

Thursday, November 04, 2021

24 Hours is a Long Time in Politics!

Wednesday, November 03, 2021

Advice To Inseminate Britain Activists


Instead of gluing yourselves to roads, thereby stopping ordinary people from going to work or hospitals, why not glue yourself to Bezos's rocket?

Tuesday, November 02, 2021

Monday, November 01, 2021

Advice To Jon Snow


 October is a windy month in the UK, trees do fall down; it's not the farking apocalypse!

Friday, October 29, 2021



Tuesday, October 26, 2021

Egg Delivery Day Today - Let Joy Be Untrammelled!


Monday, October 25, 2021

The Universe Reveals Its Secrets To Me - The Vacuum Hose Clip


Until last week I didn't know that there are hose clips on my vacuum cleaner, one on the side and one on the bottom.

Ever so slowly the universe is revealing its secrets to me!