Ken's Blue Blog
Musings on "the bleedin' obvious"; views on the meaning of life, or anything else that takes my fancy.

Thursday, December 22, 2022

Ken's Christmas Crackers - A Well Buttered Bird


Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without a well buttered bird, ready for a bit of stuffing, being the highpoint of the day!

Tuesday, December 20, 2022

Ken's Christmas Crackers - Stocking Up


Even though most shops are only closed for a few hours over Christmas, it is the law of England that you buy enough booze, fags and food to last you for a month!

Monday, December 19, 2022

Ken's Christmas Crackers - The Christmas Cock Up


As sure as eggs are eggs, any major decision/project undertaken/authorised in the last few days before Christmas will inevitably blow up in your face in the new year.

Friday, December 16, 2022

Ken's Christmas Crackers - Sour Faced Shop Staff


Always wish a sour faced shop assistant a very "Merry Christmas", and take pleasure in their grimaced attempt at wishing you the same.

Thursday, December 15, 2022

Advice To Fraudulent Charities


Don't publish photos of your associates enjoying their brand new tech, that you have bought using funds bilked from people who thought that they were donating for a worthy cause!

Tuesday, December 06, 2022

Advice To The Douches of Sussex


The Monarchy IS hierarchical, you know that perfectly well; so don't feign astonishment about the hierarchy in your bollocks arsed self promotion movie!

Tuesday, November 29, 2022

Monday, November 28, 2022

Advice To Crypto "Investors" and Small Business Owners


In the event that your "financial bucket" leaks, either plug the holes or get a new bucket.

Under no circumstances continue to fill it in the vain hope that the extra liquidity will somehow plug the leaks!

Friday, November 25, 2022

Black Friday is Bollocks!


Black Friday is utter BOLLOCKS, an American import we could well do without!

Don't get me started about Cyber Monday!

Thursday, November 24, 2022

Happy Thanksgiving


A very happy and peaceful Thanksgiving to my American chums, and the good people of the USA.

Wednesday, November 23, 2022

Happy 59th Birthday Doctor Who - #DoctorWhoDay


Monday, November 21, 2022

Advice To Lycett


Shredding £10K will have piss all effect on inflation, you will need to shred billions in order to reduce the money supply and make a dent in inflation.

Friday, November 18, 2022

Qatar Bans Beer - Who Knew?


FIFA have announced: 

"Following discussions between host country authorities and FIFA, a decision has been made to focus the sale of alcoholic beverages on the FIFA Fan Festival, other fan destinations and licensed venues, removing sales points of beer from Qatar's FIFA World Cup 2022 stadium perimeters."

A tweet from the official Budweiser account on Friday morning simply said: 

"Well, this is awkward..."
Let's see what else Qatar bans at the last minute!

So who took the bribes then when the FIFA gave Qatar the World Cup?

Thursday, November 17, 2022

Advice To Jeremy Hunt


It is better to shelter or change course from a storm, rather than face into it!

Wednesday, November 16, 2022

Advice To The Media re NATO


Article 5 is not the only Article in NATO's playbook!

Monday, November 14, 2022

Advice To Lavrov


 Insist on a ground floor hospital room with no windows!

Friday, November 11, 2022

Schroedinger's Kherson



Wednesday, November 09, 2022


Technocrats do not make good leaders or Prime Ministers!

Tuesday, November 08, 2022

Advice To Politicians


Outsourcing jobs and importing virtue is not the way to run the country!

Monday, November 07, 2022

Forged In Fire


Great men are forged in fire, it is the privilege of lesser men to light the flame.

Monday, October 31, 2022

Advice To Central Banks


Inflation did not come out of "nowhere"!

It came from a.o.:

- QE arising from the 2008 crash

- Putin's war of aggression causing energy and food price spikes

- Covid lockdowns 

- Central banks' inability and unwillingness to address the issue

Tuesday, October 25, 2022

Solar Eclipse and Rishi Sunak


By happenstance, the UK was experiencing a partial solar eclipse at the very moment Rishi Sunak was appointed Prime Minister by the King.

Monday, October 24, 2022



Decisions are best not run away from, as the consequences of running away will inevitably catch up with you.

Friday, October 21, 2022

Happy Trafalgar Day


England expects that every man will do his duty!

Wednesday, October 19, 2022

Why Are Pizzas Round?


Why are pizzas round, when the boxes they come in are square?

Tuesday, October 18, 2022

Advice To The Manufacturers of Processed Sliced Chicken Breast


Don't press the slices so firmly together, it is impossible to even peel them apart without them tearing!

Monday, October 17, 2022

Advice To The Chancellor


In order to save time and paper in the future, please present your budget on an Etch A Sketch; as clearly budgets are now a daily occurence!

Friday, October 14, 2022

Avoiding Reality


By all means avoid reality for as long as you want, and by whatever means that may distract you.

However, be aware that you can't avoid the consequences of avoiding reality!

Wednesday, October 12, 2022

How Not To Conduct a Military Briefing - Avoid Mentioning Gay Satanists!

Monday, October 10, 2022

Computers, The Internet and The Law of Sod


 You can guarantee that whenever you have something urgent to do on the pc, bot the pc itself and the internet will run at a snail's pace!

Tuesday, October 04, 2022

Trump Was Right About Nord Stream


Monday, October 03, 2022

Self Help Books


Bookshops abound with self help books that promise all kinds of improvements in your life eg; money, health, mental well-being etc.

Yet there is most decidedly a gap in the market for books that appeal to the most basic human instincts eg; laziness, sloth, greed, gluttony etc.

Where are the books that help people become more lazy, more greedy etc?

Monday, September 26, 2022

Ken's Christmas Tips - Brussels Sprouts


Now that Christmas is less than three months away, it is vital that you start boiling your brussels sprouts immediately; in order to ensure that they are totally devoid of taste, texture, colour and goodness!

Friday, September 23, 2022

BST To Stay


Unconfirmed reports are reaching me that British Summer Time is expected to continue, and that the clocks will not be put back next month.

Given that it is pissing down, this move is ironic, but welcome news!

Thursday, September 22, 2022

Let Joy Be Untrammelled!


Despite inflation in all manner of goods and service prices, my insurance quote for the coming year has fallen by a staggering £8.

Let joy be untrammelled!

Friday, September 16, 2022

Thoughts and Prayers for Jedward


Thoughts and prayers for Jedward, as dementia has clearly set in!

Monday, September 12, 2022

Energy Saving Tip


 Cut down your electricity usage by a third, by using two pin plugs instead of three pin ones!

Wednesday, September 07, 2022

Energy Saving Tip


Your smart meter uses electricity, turn it off to save money!

Tuesday, September 06, 2022



Don't forget, Cincinnatus returned from the farm!

Thursday, September 01, 2022

The 'Er Months Are Upon Us!


Today, 1 September, marks the beginning of the "'er months".

Wednesday, August 31, 2022

Poem For The Rat That Crosses My Path Every Morning Along The Seafront


Good morning Mr Rat,

Where are you at?

Lucky for you,

I didn't bring my cat!

The End

Tuesday, August 30, 2022

The Sunday Sport Nails It!


Thursday, August 25, 2022



A ship in a harbour is exposed to less risk than when it is at sea. However, that is not why ships are built!

Tuesday, August 23, 2022

Prepping For The Winter Energy Crisis


Remember to have plentiful stocks of tinned food that can be eaten without being heated up, and remember to have a tin opener in case the pull ring/can key breaks!

Monday, August 15, 2022

Save Money on Postage


How to save money on postage:

1 Address the letter to yourself.

2 Write the recipient's address on the back.

3 Do NOT put a stamp on it.

4 Post it.

The Royal Mail will then send it to the addressee on the back, saying insufficient postage!

Thursday, August 11, 2022

Kudos To The Labour Party


Kudos to the Labour party, they have held a secret leadership election and voted in Gordon Brown as their new leader in less than a week.

Something the Tories could learn from!