Cat Constipation

A watched cat never poops!

Cat Videos

Having just watched a video of a cat sniffing a snail, my day is now complete!

Stress Advice

When stressed look at pictures of cats doing soppy things.

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

Breakfast service does not commence before 7:00AM!

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

Maybe if you ate your breakfast a little more slowly, you wouldn't have to need to throw it up ten seconds after consumption all over the kitchen floor?

Ongoing Advice To Our Cat and Visiting Cats

Please conduct your cat races up and down our wooden stairways during the daytime, not in the middle of the night!

Cats

Cats are put on earth the distract humans.

Advice To Neighbourhood Cats

We are not a cat restaurant/hotel!

Question For My Cat

You are happy enough to use your cat flap to come in, but won't use it to go out why?

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

When after Dreamies may I suggest that you ask a human to serve you, rather than trying to nick them in the middle of the night and knocking over the knife block (causing it to smash your bowl) in the process?

Advice To Neighbourhood Cats

We are no longer offering free food and accommodation.

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

When you throw up in the kitchen during the night, please could you place a warning sign near the puke so that we don't step on it in the morning.

Advice To Neighbourhood Cats

Please conduct your fights outwith our garden.

Ongoing Advice To My Cat and Her Friends

I am trying to work, please could you conduct your shenanigans outside of the house!

Happy Friday 13th

Kudos To My Cat

Kudos to my cat for vomiting her food back into her bowl, thus ensuring that there was no mess on the floor and enabling her to eat it later.

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

You will get piles if you keep pressing your bottom against the radiator.

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

When you feel you are about to throw up, please vacate the duvet on our bed (especially when we are still sleeping underneath it).

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

It is rude, and not ladylike, to fart in my face at 4am when I am in bed trying to sleep.

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

The morning cat parade and circus on our bed is all very entertaining and "spectacular". However, please could you reschedule it from 4am to something a little closer to 7am?