Weather Apps

Instead of relying on weather apps, simply look out of the window; a far more reliable means of checking the weather.

Wishes

It's not "I wish", it's "I will!".

Fissures

Fissures are never that obvious until the system/structure collapses.

Government Timetables

Government timetables inevitably fail.

Enemy Proximity

When you are far away convince your enemy you are close to him, when you are close convince him you are far away.

The Russian Reset

As Britain attempts to reset its relations with Russia, the question is will her colonial cousins allow such an independent foreign policy initiative?

History

History is malleable and subjective, not set in stone.

Say Boo To a Goose!

Start your day as you mean to go on, find a flock of geese and say "Boo!" to them!

The British Summer

An early August morning and, even though the sun is shining, the wind is icy.

The British summer, ushering in the chill winds of October!

Advice To Southern Rail and The RMT

Grow up and stop inflicting your dispute on the hapless commuters who have to get to work.

Insurance Premiums

Insurance premiums don't buy you restitution for an accident or cock up, they merely buy "peace of mind" until something goes wrong.

Pain

In order to overcome pain, you need to punch your way through the barrier that gives you pain.

Changing Looks

Don't change the way you look, change the way you change.

In The Shit

When you are in the shit, ensure that you maintain mental and physical discipline in order to avoid being totally engulfed by the shit.

Making an Impression

You have two opportunities to make an impression on people:

1 Your entrance, and

2 Your departure.

Never neglect the latter.