Happy New Year

I would like to wish you all a happy, peaceful and fulfilling 2017!

Merry Christmas

A Merry Christmas to you all!

Advice To Southern Commuters

Club together and charter your own trains, then send the bill to Southern.

The Statistical Correlation Between The Proximity of Christmas and Puke

As Christmas draws ever nearer, there is a statistically significant increase in the amount of puke encountered on the pavements and verges.

Advice To Businesses In The Pre Christmas Period

As sure as eggs are eggs, any major decision taken in the hectic and "jolly" days leading up to Christmas will inevitably turn sour in the New Year.

Postpone all major decisions until the sober reality of January.

The Mystery of The Avocado

Why do people buy avocados, only to leave them to ripen for so long that by the time they try to eat them they have gone rotten?

What is it about avocados that causes such aberrant behaviour?

Advice To Banks

Hiding behind call centre queues of 25 minutes or more won't save you from the wrath of your customers!

Wealthy People

Wealthy people remain wealthy because they care about every penny.

Shopping Online For The Elderly

When shopping online for an elderly person, leave the placement of the order until the last minute so as to allow time for the twenty or so phone calls asking for changes to be made to the order.

Happy 1st of December

25 days until Christmas.

Panic in the streets!