Dr Zachary Smith - Master of The Oneline Insult

Hardliners

Hardliners and zealots who choose to count and argue about angels on pinheads would do well to remember that other organisations and countries, whom they choose to "argue" with, also have their own hardliners and zealots who count angels on pinheads.

The Bank Holiday Displacement Theorem

Bank holidays cause disruption to the body and mind, today feels very much like Monday!

Things Are Going To Become "Interesting"!

via GIPHY

Advice To LinkedIn Contacts Who I Have Never Met

When spamming my inbox with sales pitches for your services that I am not interested in (nor did I ask for), don't sign off with your name followed by an "X"!

Advice To Liars

Don't use my name in the concoction of your web of lies.

You will be found out, and I will not be amused!

A Sign Of Age - Eggs and Milkshakes

I am so old that I remember a time when Ted Heath was egged, people didn't panic and assume it was the end of democracy as we knew it.

More to the point, people simply and calmly observed that the egg thrower was immature and rather silly to have done that!

Monday Conundrum

I honestly have no idea why my mother has done this. 🤔 pic.twitter.com/brEVFYSwhg

— Miss Wobble (@richie_rich77) May 19, 2019

The Friday Song

All together now...

One banana two banana three banana four

Four bananas make a bunch and so do many more

Over hill and highway the banana buggy’s go

Comin’ on to bring you the Banana Splits Show

Making up a mess of fun,

Making up a mess of fun

Lots of fun for every one

Tra la la la la la la tra la la la la la la

Tra la la la la la la tra la la la la la la

Four banana three banana two banana one

All the bananas playin in the bright yellow sun

Flippin like a pancake, poppin like a cork

Fleagle, Bingo, Drooper and Snork

Making up a mess of fun

Making up a mess of fun

Lots of fun for every one

Tra la la la la la la tra la la la la la la

Tra la la la la la la tra la la la la la la

Two banana, four banana, one banana, three

Swingin like a bunch of monkeys hangin from a tree

Hey there everybody won’t you come along and see

How much like banana splits everyone can be.

Making up a mess of fun

Making up a mess of fun

Lots of fun for every one

Tra la la la la la la tra la la la la la la

Tra la la la la la la tra la la la la la la

Tra la la la la la la tra la la la la la la

Tra la la la la la la tra la la la la la la

Tomorrow

Tomorrow is promised to no one, therefore don't sit on your arse waiting for something to happen that may in fact never happen!

Advice To PayPal

When handling your customers' disputes with suppliers, please ensure a human being actually reads and answers your customers' emails; as your bots are shit, and are seriously pissing your customers off!

Advice To Government Agencies

via GIPHY

Tankers that are laden with oil sit lower in the water than empty tankers, please bear this in mind when conducting your next false flag "blow a hole in a tanker" operation!

The Wind

The wind is most keenly felt in the dark!

Today I Am

Today I am mainly:

Sucking on a lemon!

Happy #EuropeDay!

Happy VE Day (74th Anniversary)

Team

There is no "I" in "team", hence the fact I never use the word!

Shadows

Don't fear what is in the shadows, fear the person that casts the shadows!

Advice To Politicians

It's the lie that gets you!

Bloody Marys

Drinking Bloody Marys is an effective means of getting both booze and food into your system at the same time.