Woodworm Holes

Woodworm holes are not necessarily such a bad thing. The holes indicate that the worms have taken flight and departed.

Wood with no holes may in fact conceal far greater horrors.

Advice to Presidents

When you are telling Russia that it is "infra dig" to invade other countries in the 21st century, do remember that you did the same.

Unanswered Emails

Emails that remain unanswered fester like a pus filled scab.

Advice To Gordon Brown

Don't allow the meltdown in your party and infighting between the Treasury and Number 10 to cause a meltdown in the economy.

Relationships

Never take any lover for granted, always tell them how you feel for them.

Home Offices

Home offices only work when those who live in the home realise that they are a place of work, not idle chit chat.

Bullshit Phrases of the 21st Century

"We appreciate your concern..."

Advice To Estate Agents

Note down your client's mobile phone number if you expect to make that sale!

The British Summer

Complete bollocks!

Advice To Departing Presidents

Legacies are not built on end of term farewell world tours.

Stars

Stars, to achieve thier destiny in the heavens, must burn themselves out; so it is with some humans.

Forecasting

The secret of forecasting is to do it often!