Advice To Neighbourhood Cats

Please conduct your fights outwith our garden.

Trousers

Always inspect your trousers for prominent gravy stains, before donning them.

World Book Day

Happy World Book Day!

Do your brain and eyes a favour and read something in print, rather than online.

Crochet Pants

An abomination!

Conventional Exams

Conventional exams tend to favour those with conventional minds.

Advice To The Weather

Kindly make your mind up as to whether it will be rain or sun today!

Ongoing Advice To My Cat and Her Friends

I am trying to work, please could you conduct your shenanigans outside of the house!

Flat Leaf Parsley

A pox upon flat leaf parsley, it neither has the flavour nor the longevity of curly leaf parsley.

I forbid you to use it!

Advice To Luvvies

Stick to acting, and keep your noses out of real world issues such as taxation.

Smoking

Smoking allegedly knocks a few years off of your life.

However, those years are at the tail end crappy part of your life. Hence, it is nothing to worry about!

Broken Clocks

Broken clocks are right twice a day.

Thus even the dimmest, most annoying individual can occasionally be correct.

Compromise

A compromise is not a compromise if the "compromise" agreed does not resolve the differences between the parties involved, but instead gives them freedom to continue to pursue their own individual opposing agendas.