The British Weather

Under no circumstances plan a barbecue more than 24 hours ahead, long term planning of more than 24 hours will always guarantee rain.

Obsession

Who is to judge what is obsession and what is genius?

Advice To Mobile Phone Users

Don't give your credit card details out when using a mobile phone in a crowded train.

God

If God exists, why was there a several billion year gap between the creation of the universe and the creation of man?

Advice To Politicians

Don't give your real name when using hookers.

Wisdom

Far too often wisdom comes to a man when it is too late in his life for him to be able to apply it, and redeem the mistakes of the past.

Should this be a cause for regret?

No!

It shows that he is still growing and adapting to life's challenges, ie it shows that he is still very much alive.

Advice To Hotels

When answering reservations enquiries, read the enquiry first before answering it.

Murder vs Assassination

Just how important do you have to be, before your murder is announced as an assassination?

The Snail

Do not despise the snail for its speed and shape, for it carries its sorrows in its shell with dignity and fortitude.

Advice To Restaurants

T bone steaks, for the description to be accurate, require a bone in them.

Deadlines

Never accept a deadline that you feel that you cannot meet. A missed deadline is an abomination.

Fish

Fish should not smell of fish.

Elitist

Elitist is a word used by the lazy and ignorant who find a subject too difficult to do.

Doomsayers

Those who foretell the end of the world (plague, war, famine, global warming etc) may, in the long run be proven to be correct. However, as John Maynard Keynes once said:

"In the long run we are all dead."

Mankind is best served by working on the assumption that we will still be here tomorrow. Those who plan for Armageddon are merely encouraging it, and wishing their lives away.

Networking Events

Generally these are a waste of time, all that happens is that a group of salesmen gather to sell each other their unwanted products and services.

The Dream

No matter how beguiling the dream there must come a day, after years of fruitless pursuit, when you must consider abandoning it.

Light

There is no light without darkness.

Politicians

Whenever I hear a politician say "I welcome this report", I instinctively reach for the sick bag.

People

Always keep your opinions of people apart from what they do.

Decisions

Retrospective analyses of decisions made will avail you nothing. The decision, once made, has been made.

Live with the consequences.

Religion

Mankind's need for religion will end when mankind evolves.