Advice To Z List Celebs

Orange is the natural colour of the flesh of the fruit called an "Orange", not the natural colour of human flesh.

Happy Autmun Statement Day!

Today is Autumn Statement Day, be still my beating heart!

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

Don't eat the string binding that was used to hold the smoked ham in one piece whilst I boiled it yesterday, you will end up with indigestion!

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

When you think you are about to have a fur ball, please go into the garden for a "breath of air" rather than sit on our Chinese rug looking queezy.

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving to my American friends.

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

The new cat neighbour, who now visits our garden, is no danger to you. He/she is just extremely large, but appears to be very passive.

Shouldn't vs Wouldn't

There is a world of difference between "shouldn't happen" and "won't happen".

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

Please don't stick your head into the sour cream pot on the dining table, when we are still using it!

Strategy

Those who proudly proclaim that they are "managing a problem" actually mean that they have no policy or strategy for resolving that problem.

Advice To Self

Chili loaded potato skins followed by chicken curry is an unwise combination!

Advice To The BMA

Look to your own unhealthy habits, before telling others how to live their lives.

Advice To Morrisons

"Zesty lemons" (as per your description of them) are all very well, if it is only the zest that you want. However, most people want a lemon that actually produces some juice.

Another Week

Another week crashes upon us imposing a feeling of grey, chilling foreboding.

Today's Word

Today's word is "clusterfuck".

Advice To "Chefs"

Don't "pre portion" your food and use that as an excuse not to be able to serve customers with the food combination that they actually want.

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

Please dry your paws before you walk on my head when I am sleeping in bed.

Advice To Olympus

Just because you are named after a location in Greece, there is no need to emulate the fraudulent business practices of that country!

Question To Eurozone "Leaders"

What fresh instabilities will you be inflicting on the markets and the global economy this week?

Advice To George Papandreou

Leave office with some dignity, before you are pushed out.

Advice To The G20

Given worldwide economic meltdown, was Cannes (the symbol of all that is opulent and extravagant) such a wise choice of venue for your meeting?

Advice To Eurozone "Leaders"

You can't impose economic policy on another country and its people by diktat or bureaucratic occupation of its ministries.

Advice To Trick and Treaters

When I turn off my doorbell it means that I don't want you to knock on the door either.