War Memorials

To build a war memorial, first find a million victims.

Great Lies of The 21st Century

"We value your feedback"

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

It is very rude of you to barge past people on the stairs when you are going for your breakfast.

Save A Fly

It is good to save a fly from drowning in a drop of water.

For who is to say that one day you yourself may be that fly in need of rescue?

Heatwave?

Errmm excuse me Mr Weather Forecaster, but what happened to today's much vaunted heatwave, all I see from my window is rain?

Lifespans

Lifespans are relative, whether they are "short" or "long" is dependent on the observer's perspective.

Great Lies of The 21st Century

"A generous serving in every pack."

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

Apologies for the inconvenience caused to your lifestyle and daily routines by the fact that we have guests coming and going at the moment.

Advice To Our Neighbours' Cat

Please stop jumping into our lightwell, you know that you cannot get out once you are down there!

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

Fear not, the nice man from Sainsburys' will soon be here with your food delivery.

Train Companies Maintain 100% Punctuality

Kudos to the train companies for maintaining their 100% punctuality record for delivering inflation busting price increases.

Well done lads, keep it up!

Advice To My Neighbours' Cat

It is better to jump over our fence when you want to visit our cat, rather than punching a hole in it with your head!

Apologies To My Cat

Sorry, we forgot to celebrate World Cat Day on 8 August.

Talking Heads

Beware self appointed talking heads who claim to be experts on a specific topic. Invariably they are not experts and more often than not use their five seconds of fame to manipulate the narrative for their own ends.

It's A Wonderful Day For Pie

Comeback Sunshine

Come on sunshine, it's still early August you're not giving up on summer already are you?

Energy Drinks

Why do people who drink energy drinks rarely have the energy to put the empty cans in the bin?

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

My early morning cat breakfast feeding time call is not scheduled for 4:00AM!

Question For Microsoft Re Windows 8

What the fark were you thinking?

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

You do not eat curry!