Toilet Paper

You can never have too much toilet paper!

Sausage Advice

Always keep an emergency pack of sausages in your freezer, lest your local corner shop runs out of them.

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

Please, when you are purring very deeply, could you refrain from dribbling over me and the duvet.

I Forbid You To Read This

Keyboard Fluff

Do not distract yourself by trying to clean the accumulated fluff and dust that has accumulated beneath the keys of your keyboard, you will find that the morning has simply vanished before you complete your task.

Happy St George's Day

Post Bank Holiday Blues

The end of a four day weekend and another week (thankfully only four days until the next weekend) crashes into one's life.

Easter Bank Holiday

In keeping with the tradition of bank holidays, especially the Easter one, as they approach so the nice sunny weather that we have basked in recedes.

Advice To Builders

Scaffolding is charged for on a daily basis, therefore it is unwise once it is erected to let it stand idly by for days on end unused!

Advice To US Airways

It is unwise to post tweets that include pornographic images, especially when these tweets are in response to customer queries!

Monday Sunshine!

Sunshine, on a Monday morning!!!

Can this be true?

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

The newly erected scaffolding on our neighbours' house is for the purpose of renovation of their house, it is not a cat climbing frame.

Pertinent Information

Pertinent information is usually best ascertained by asking impertinent questions.

Advice To Celebrities and Their Worshippers

Irrespective as to whether celebrity status is earned, gifted/imposed via parents or artificially created via "reality" TV it does not impart immortality.

Advice To Weather Forecasters

Your forecast today tells me that the sun should be shining in my part of the world at this very moment in time.

It isn't!

It is in fact overcast and rather cold.

Either update the forecast to show reality, or stop making forecasts in the first place thus saving us the disappointment associated with failed forecasts that recurs with the depressing inevitability of an unloved season.

Monday Rain

Urgh...Monday morning has been heralded by a deluge of rain that is forecast to last all day.

All Hail The Wombles

Today's Word

Today's word is:

Groyne

Feed The Seagulls Day

Every Wednesday is bin bag day in our neighbourhood; or, more accurately, feed the seagulls day!

April Fools' Day

Another April Fools' Day has dawned upon us again, cue the deluge of tedious media and company April Fools' Day stories and PR attempts.