Thoughts and Prayers With The Gendarmerie Tonight!

 

Advice To Footballers

 

 Don't stamp on the other players!

ZZZZZZZ...

 

Apparently we are still meant to be up in arms about football!

ZZZZZZZZ................

The European Super League

 

I know next to nothing about football, and care about it even less.

As such I am at a loss to understand why the media, politicians et al are jabbering about the ESL as though it were the end of the world!

FIFA's Masterclass In Buck Passing

When passing the buck, always pass it to a dead person.

Advice To The Premier League

£750M in transfer fees??!!

Irrespective of the fact you will try to recoup that money by screwing the fans via extortionate ticket prices and selling t shirts and other shite with redesigned branding, are you farking demented?

Advice To People Bitten By Suarez

Have a blood test taken, you don't know where he's been!

The World Cup Explained

I understand that there is some form of football tournament going on?

Advice To FIFA

Learn to recognise a crisis when you are embroiled in one.

Question For The Media

Why on earth are you so surprised that Russia won the right to host the 2018 World Cup?

They were the favourites from the start.

Advice To FIFA

When selecting the next England team and manager, opt for those who are paid considerably less than the current "stars". That way they will have the incentive to actually try to play/manage, in order to better their chances of future wealth.

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

The cat litter in your litter tray is best left in the litter tray, and should not be used as an improvised football for an impromptu game of kitchen floor football ("pawball"?).

Football

I see no logic, nor have I any empathy, for the passions and tribalism aroused by this game.

Footballers

Celebrity footballers are paid a small fortune to kick a ball around a field.

Nurses are paid a small sum to care for the sick.

Something is very wrong with our sense of values.