Politicians

Individuals who think themselves better than the rest of us.

They are happy to take our money (by way of taxes), and promise us the earth (at election time).

However, they are incompetent at their jobs and strangely unresponsive to the issues raised by the electorate.

I have yet to be convinced that they serve any useful purpose.

Ambition

Achieve all that is achieveable, then despise your achievements absolutely.

A Drinking Salutation

I commend the following salutation, use it whenever drinking with friends:

"Here's to those that wish us well

The others

They can go to hell!."

Relationships

If you want to maintain a loving, caring and stable relationship don't screw around.

If you must screw around, then use a condom.

Hunger

Hunger is the best spice.

Waste Not, Want Not

My parents lived through WWII, and were used to rationing and food shortages. Therefore, to them, wasting food is disgusting and abhorrent; their motto is “waste not, want not”.

I am pleased to say that they have instilled this splendid dictum in me. I do not waste a scrap of food; even cold Brussels sprouts are used in the traditional dish of bubble and squeak.

The Western world is currently gorging itself into a state of obesity; throwing away all that is deemed to be old and tired, craving instead all that is new and stimulating.

There will come a time when we will be consuming more than we can produce, and shortages will be commonplace.

In order to avoid this, I commend that you follow my parents’ dictum “waste not, want not”.

Obesity

The Western world is plagued by an epidemic of obesity.

People seek miracle “snake oil” cures, in the form of celebrity and fashionable diets. These “diets” range from high fibre to high protein low carbohydrate; you name it, the celebrities and companies market it.

Here is my solution to the obesity epidemic, neither sexy nor easy; eat less, exercise more!.

Governments and Taxes

A government’s prime role is to tax the individual.

Governments constantly look for new, and ingenious, methods to extract more money from the hapless voter.

If governments could, they would tax sex; this is the one area of taxation where avoidance measures would not be proactively sought.

After all who would publicly admit that weren’t “getting any”?

Bananas

Bananas are nature's fast food. They contain all the vitamins and nutrients necessary to cure a hangover, and to kick start your day.

They even come in their own biodegradable wrapper.

Ronald MacDonald and Colonel Sanders would do well to copy their example.

Flies

Where do flies go in the winter?

Life After Death

The answer to the question, "is there life after death" can only be answered when I die.

As I intend to live for ever, I don't expect to be able to answer this question.

So far so good!

God

God may well exist, and indeed may be the "first one" in the universe. However, how do we know that God created the universe?

We only have God's word for it, after all.