Happy Waterloo Day!

Two hundred years ago the Duke of Wellington defeated Napoleon, and saved Europe from dictatorship.

Advice To Tsipras

Calling the IMF "criminals" probably won't help secure extra money from them!

Wi-Fi

Will someone please develop a Wi-Fi system that doesn't fall over every time a neighbour turns their router on, and drop because of interference from other systems!

Question For The Manufacturers of Scented Toilet Tissue

Is one meant to smell your product before, or after, use?

Advice To Launderettes

Clean your lint traps often, lest they become a fire hazard!

Ongoing Advice To Our Cat and Visiting Cats

Please conduct your cat races up and down our wooden stairways during the daytime, not in the middle of the night!

Advice To Advertisers of Acid Reflux Potions

The word "new" is pronounced "new" not "noo".

Cats

Cats are put on earth the distract humans.

Credit Lines

A man's credit line outranks his cash holdings, in the eyes of the capitalist world, even if he ends up never paying back money borrowed on that credit line.

Advice To Septic Bladder

Resigning from FIFA won't save you from jail.

You had best take up residence in a country, one of your friends from your FIFA days, that doesn't have an extradition agreement with the USA

FIFA's Masterclass In Buck Passing

When passing the buck, always pass it to a dead person.

Weather Forecasts

The weather forecasters have over the last month firstly predicted a hot summer for Britain, then a cold wet one and are now again predicting a hot one.

Their forecasts may be crap, but at least they have covered all of their bases!