Great Lies of Today

24 hour 7 day a week service guarantees on domestic appliances.

You try and get a service engineer to come out on a Sunday evening, and listen to the lies and "tall stories" from the so called "customer care operative" as to why they can't come.

Advice To Businessmen Turned Politicians

When you make the move into politics from the boardroom, remember to check your ego in at the door.

Advice To Actors

It is better to be type cast, rather than not cast.

School Meals

There is a lot of fuss in the British media at the moment, about the quality of school meals.

People are pressing schools to serve children better quality meals, and remove the chips and fat from the menu.

The riposte from the schools is that the kids won't eat healthy options.

My riposte is simple; hunger will force them to eat the meals put in front of them, if they have no choice but the meal that is offered.

Don't give in to a spoilt child.

Business and Politics

Business and politics is much like a home made stock. The scum and impurities often rise to the top.

In order to ensure that the stock is tasty and useful, it is best to skim the surface at regular intervals in order to remove the impurities.

New Age Cures

The preponderance of "new age" cures that infest "lifestyle" magazines and the media, such as "crystal healing" and "ear candles", have provided a whole new source of income for the modern day "snake oil" salesmen.

Many people are now conned into buying these worthless products, in the mistaken belief that they will find a cure for what ails them.

However, as with their predecessors, these salesmen offer no tangible or effective cures for people's ills.

These "cures" should be treated with contempt, and avoided like the plague.

Where Are You From?

To know where you are from, you must first identify where it is that you are going.

Once you have done that, you can then trace your route back to where you have come from.

Great Lies of Today

"Thank you for your suggestion, I will pass it on to my supervisor".

Using The Washing Machine

When using the washing machine, it is usually best to remember to add the detergent.

The Past

By all means remember that past, and learn lessons from it. However, do not wallow in the past; that is very unhealthy, and will curtail your ability to face the challenges of the future.

Food Fadists

Food fadists are a serious threat to civil liberties, they should be ostracised by society.

The Media

Why does the media report the same news?

Wash Your Hands

I cannot emphasise too strongly the benefits of washing your hand regularly, especially when you are about to handle food.

Many cases of food poisoning, and hospital infections, could have been avoided if people had made regular hand washing part of their daily routine.

Remember, wash you hands; you don't necessarily know where they have been!

The Benefits of Limes

Freshly squeezed limes are an excellent source of vitamin C.

The British Royal Navy discovered several hundred years ago that if they gave their crews a regular dose of lime juice, the scurvy that had been blighting the crews for generations all but disappeared.

Hence the nickname "Limeys", bestowed on the Brits by the Americans.

I too commend the health giving properties of limes. I have three freshly squeezed limes every evening after exercise.

I commend that you do the same.

The Paperless Office

The advent of the IT age was meant to herald the dawn of the paperless office.

Some 40 years, or more, on; has anyone actually noticed less paper?

Garlic

The health giving properties of fresh garlic cannot be over emphasised.

Eat a clove or more of raw fresh garlic everyday and, so many claim, you will:

-Lower your blood pressure

-Reduce the risk of heart trouble

-Reduce the risk of cancer

-Reduce the risk of stomach ulcers

-Improve your auto immune system

-Ward off sore throats and colds

Needless to say you will smell of garlic. However, eating fresh parsley will reduce the smell; it is a small price to pay for improved health.

Trees

If you want to hide a tree, where would you hide it?

In a forest.

Liens

The imposition of a lien over the property of a tardy debtor, is a remarkably effective method of extracting the monies owed.

I commend it.

Power Naps

An excellent way to refresh and reinvigorate the brain.

I wholeheartedly recommend them.

Central Heating

We live a very cosseted life in the West; we can, at the touch of a button, increase the temperature of our homes without a thought to the consequences.

Central heating is expensive in terms of using scarce resources, and environmental damage.

Many of us waste these, by running our homes at unnecessarily high temperatures.

The next time you are feeling cold, instead of reaching for the heating control panel, put a jumper on and eat a bowl of hot soup.

You will save money and the environment.

Memory Suppression

One of the brain's most effective mechanisms for self healing is its ability to suppress painful memories.

Those analysts that encourage their patients to relive painful experiences are doing them more harm than good.

Avoid these people.

Excessive Introspection

Excessive introspection is dangerous, it can lead to self doubt and a crippling lack of self confidence.

It is to be avoided at all costs.

Procrastination

Beware those that procrastinate unduly, they have something to hide.

How To Spot a Lie II

Liars will often use generalisations, to avoid answering a question. For example, if you ask:

"Did you drive your car to work today?"

The liar will respond:

"I normally drive my car to work every day".

The liar has avoided the question with a generalisation, be on your guard for these.

The Last Bit of Cheese

Why is it that the last bit of cheese in the fridge, has always been eaten by someone else?

Ideas

When you have an idea that you feel is useful, make a note of it before you forget it.

Sometimes the best ideas pop into your head, just as you are going to sleep; make sure that you keep a dictaphone by the side of your bed, so that you can record these ideas as they occur.