Marketing Con Tricks

"New Improved"

The above phrase actually means:

"We have tweaked the formula and design a bit; in order to justify raising the price, whilst trying to arrest the decline in sales".

Don't fall for this con.

Teenage Yobs

The only way to tackle the teenage yob element in society is for parents to act as parents, and not to let their offspring run wild like feral animals.

The trouble is that many of the parents of these teenage yobs cannot be bothered; as it would simply be too much effort, and would distract them from their prime raison d'etre namely watching TV.

Here's the solution, ban both the parents and the kids from watching TV.

The vacuum in their lives, produced by the lack of their TV sedative, would force them to address the issue of their failure to act as responsible parents.

Lies of Our Time

"I'll call you back"

"I will pay you at the end of the month"

"The troops will be home for Christmas"

Religion and Politics

Religion and politics do not mix.

Never trust, or vote for, a politician who prays regularly and invokes God in his/her speeches.

These people put faith above logic, argument and pragmatism. The are extremely dangerous; they are, in effect, as dangerous as fanatical terrorists.

They will lead you down the path of destruction, as they blindly follow their misplaced faith in their own moral certainty.

Cheese

Eat a lump of cheese on a daily basis.

It is an excellent source of protein; it also reduces the acidity level in your mouth, thereby lessening the chances of decay.

Consumerism

Consumerism, and all that goes with it such as; buying brand names purely for the label, marketing worthless products and changing products' functionality and appearance purely to stimulate more sales, is a con trick of staggering proportions.

The West's addiction to, and reliance on, consumption as the panacea for all ills is self destructive:

1 It absorbs scarce resources.

2 It pollutes the environment.

3 It is unsustainable.

4 It diverts peoples' money and attention away from necessities such as; health care and education.

5 It creates an addictive dysfunctional society, constantly looking for new thrills and experiences; never satisfied, or happy with their lives.

Cats

Cats are very wise; they do as little as possible for themselves, they sleep through most of the day whilst their human owners feed and pamper them.

This is the very lifestyle that many humans seek to emulate.

Promises

Don't make promises that you can't keep!

The Most Hated Phrase in The English Language

"We regret to announce the cancellation of..."

A Career in Dentistry

Not a suitable career choice for alcoholics with severe tremors.

The Tongue

We are born with:

-Two eyes, to see better with

-Two ears, to hear better with

-One tongue, to listen better with

Pensions

The solution to the current crisis over pensions is very simple.

Simply raise the retirement age.

Why should you expect to live for more than twenty years, without working to support yourself?