Ongoing Advice To My Cat

Having successfully chased and killed the flies that you so love to hunt, please could you either eat the corpses or throw them away.

Snow

Why does the UK react with total shock, and grind to a halt every time it snows?

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

Pussycat!

Did you not read my advice of yesterday, wrt your 3AM morning parade?

This morning's addition to the 3AM routine, of jumping on and off the bed with your toy moose, was really OTT!

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

As endearing as the "morning parade" is (where you jump up on the bed, walk up and down purring and pat my nose in the expectation that I will get up and feed you), holding the parade at 3AM this morning was a tad too early.

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

I know I that I have spoken to you before about this, but there really is nothing up our fireplace chimney that could be of the remotest interest to you.

Honestly!

Rail Upgrades

Promising upgrades in train rolling stock that will not be in situ until 2019 is taking the piss, even by the lousy standards that the long suffering rail traveller has had to endure over the decades.

Question For The Government

Why, if we are already contributing to the IMF (which in turn is partly contributing to the Irish bailout), do we need to offer a separate bilateral loan to Ireland?

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

Please be advised that my nose is not a "servants' bell" to be pushed when you are hungry, most especially when I am asleep in bed.

Question For The Pope

If condoms are now deemed by the church (under certain circumstances) to help reduce the spread of HIV, how is it that they weren't deemed to be of any use before?

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

Please wear slippers when running up and down our wooden stairs in the middle of the night.

Advice To Businessmen

Beware those who proffer a "solution" to a business issue that provides the "least grief to everyone".

Invariably those who proffer such a "solution" are only thinking of reducing their "grief".

Advice To BBC Headline Writers

Re "World Delighted at Royal Engagement Announcement", most of the people of the world are blissfully unaware of the announcement and have no idea as to who Prince William and Kate Middleton are.