Turning Points

Turning points are only useful, if you have somewhere to turn to.

Games

In order to win the game, you have to first know what game it is that you are playing.

Great Cons of Today

Tongue cleaning toothbrushes are sold with the promise that they will remove bacteria from your tongue.

Get real!

Your mouth is full of bacteria, scraping the tongue with an overpriced piece of plastic will avail you nothing.

Roses

Roses must be harshly pruned, if you wish them to flourish.

Is it not strange, that in order to create beauty, you must first destroy?

Advice To World Leaders

When an enemy of yours dies, always ensure that you attend the funeral; otherwise your living enemies will use the occasion to meet together and plot against you.

Weather Forecasts

Why is it that weather forecasts for rain are invariably correct, yet weather forecasts for sun are invariably wrong?

Airport Strikes

Isn't it a strange coincidence that airport workers always go on strike during the holiday season?

Gate Gourmet

Anyone who has ever flown BA will surely know that the use of the word "gourmet", in the name of their on board food supplier, is an absurd contradiction.

Nature

Nature is to be respected, but no to be interacted with.

The Good Old Days

Those in Britain who hanker after the so called "good old days", when shops shut on Sunday, should go and live in Germany.

There, many shops shut on Saturday at 2PM and don't open again until Monday.

Of course, this is extremely inconvenient for the consumer and has severely damaged the economy; so maybe the "good old days" are something best consigned to the dustbin of history.

Mad Dogs and Englishmen Go Out in The Midday Sun

"Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun", or so the saying goes. However, that is patently untrue.

As I pen this it is midday, and 30 degrees, yet I have seen one cat and two non English people already go out in the sun.

Great Lies of Today

"New improved formula"

The Dangers of Irish Coffee

Beware the sleep deprivation effects that an overindulgence in Irish coffees can have.

Yes, Yes, Yes

Beware the politician who readily responds to your request for help, by the phrase "yes, yes, yes"; it may only mean that he has heard what you have said.

Eat More Cheese

Cheese is not only an excellent source of protein and calcium, it is also ideal for lowering the acidity of your mouth and hence reduce the risk of tooth decay.

Eat more cheese.

Corporate Rebranding

Corporate rebranding is often carried out by companies that have run out of ideas.

Great Lies of Today

"Our endowment policy is designed to pay off your mortgage"

Great Lies of Today

Britsh railway timetables.

Great Lies of Today

"We really appreciate your call, one of our operatives will answer it as soon as possible"

TV Weather Presenters

Why do all TV weather presenters have to have such an inane fixed smile, even when the weather is awful?

Party Leadership

When an unseemly number of pretenders to the throne, scramble for the soon to be vacant post of a leader of a political party; look for the future leader amongst those who have not put their names forward.