Halloween

Halloween is a perverse occasion, as it is the one time of the year that parents encourage their kids to wander the streets at night in fancy dress, demanding sweets from strangers.

Farewell Vine

Farewell Vine, until the announcement of you demise I had never heard of you or knew what you did.

Fog and Sunshine Working In Harmony

Today's sea fog was brought to you courtesy of today's sunshine, which then burned it off.

Reclining Office Chairs

Reclining office chairs are all very well and good, until a crucial screw pops out at the moment of maximum recline!

Innocuous Lies

Sometimes something innocuous, such as someone lying about why they didn't bring you something from duty free, points to deeper issues.

Happy Trafalgar Day

Question For Southern Rail

You claim that the currently curtailed timetable will be restored in full by the end of the month.

That being the case, what was the point of curtailing it in the first place?

Bananas

Start your day with a banana, and you will conquer the world!

Question For The American People

Are Clinton and Trump really the best candidates that a country with a population of 319 million can produce to run for President?

Toilet Flushing

Start your day as you mean to go on, by giving your toilet a good powerful flush!

Advice To Multinationals

When complaining about the fall in value of Sterling:

1 Don't forget what goes down, does also go up

2 Ask your hedging department why they failed to provide sufficient hedge.

3 Marmite is made in the UK!

Advice To "Celebrities"

You can only apologise on behalf of yourself, and those that have given you express permission to apologise on their behalf.

You cannot apologise on behalf of an entire country!

Advice Re Using Professionals

When you hire a dog, don't do the barking yourself.

The same principle applies to the use of professional services and heeding advice from lawyers, property management companies and insurance companies.

Avoid Monday Mornings

Avoid Monday mornings by sleeping in until Tuesday.

Advice To Virgin Media and Mobile

FFS merge your online portals!

A Fistful of Pens

A fistful of pens, yet not one of them works!

Why are non functioning pens never disposed of?

Effort

Some things just aren't worth the effort, don't waste time and energy on them simply move on to something else.

Question For Southern Rail

Are we to assume that your strategy (wrt buggering up the schedules, cancelling trains, firing staff and your idiotic request for commuters to tweet complaints to the RMT) is in fact part of a cunning strategy to force the government to rid you of your rail franchise?

Cheerful Monday Mornings

Beware cheerful, bright Monday mornings; the week is setting you up for a fail big time!