The Interent

Is it me/my pc/Virgin, or is the internet running really slowly today?

Advice To The Republican Party

Now that you have won the House of Representatives, on the back of popular public discontent with the pace of change, you now have to come up with some policies that actually work.

Simply blocking every piece of legislation put forward by the Democrats, and saying that the deficit and taxes can be reduced at the same time are not policies that are viable or credible.

Agendas

Never allow others to set the agenda.

Advice To Businessmen

Beware doing business with people who, when asked a direct question, seek to lose you in a "wilderness of mirrors" via their answer.

Advice To Businessmen

Beware of doing business with politicians, they invariably "jump ship" at times of crisis in order to avoid being blamed for any problems that have arisen.

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

When you run upstairs at breakneck speed, please do remember that there is a wall at the top of the stairs. I am sure that you constantly running, head first, into that wall cannot be doing you any good at all.

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

I am still trying to enter your photo into the Gourmet cat portrait competition.

However, owing to the fact that the Gourmet site doesn't work properly, I cannot log in to upload your photo.

Gourmet advise me that their technical experts are now looking into it.

I will let you know if they ever fix the problem and I am able to upload your picture.

Advice To Train Companies

Those of you who are thinking of reducing costs, by removing toilets from some of your services, may care to remember that even cattle being transported by rail for slaughter are given straw to shit on.

What Goes Around

Those who revel in inflicting death and destruction on others, one day end up on the receiving end.

Put The Candle Out

There comes a time for those in mourning over the death of a loved one, the break up of a relationship or related life traumas (eg loss of a job) where they need to "put the candle out", before it uses up all the oxygen.

Question For The Government

Why have you increased the overseas aid budget yet, at the same time, cut back on the domestic budget?

Question

When is an aircraft carrier not an aircraft carrier?

Answer: When it has no planes that it can use.