Advice To Home Secretaries

Don't fiddle your expenses.

Vacuum Cleaners

It is unwise to have sex with vacuum cleaners in public!

"A man police caught performing a sex act with a car wash vacuum has been sentenced to 90 days in prison.

Jason Leroy Savage must also submit to drug testing.
The 29-year-old from Michigan, was sentenced at Saginaw County Circuit Court.
Savage pleaded no contest to indecent exposure last month.

Police said Savage was arrested after a resident called officers early on October 16 to report suspicious activity at a car wash in Thomas Township, about 90 miles north-west of Detroit.

Savage's lawyer, Philip Sturtz, didn't immediately return a message seeking comment."

Source MSN

Silence

Silence is sometimes a very effective means of communication.

IT As A Panacea

IT is the not the universal panacea for the world's problems.

IT and Governments

Governments don't do, or "get", IT.

PERIOD!

Advice To Lord Myners

Give up now, before you suffer further humiliation and dishonour.

Advice To A Certain Waitress

Learn to smile.

NHS Foundation Trusts

A contradiction in terms!

Personal Data

Voters should never allow the state access to excessive amounts of personal data. The state will always misuse the data for its own ends.

Targets

Targets encourage greed and cheating, and they stifle initiative and creativity. In the case of the NHS, they also kill people.

Advice To Workmen Who Charge By The Hour

Turn your mobiles off when you start a job and only turn them on to check them when you are on a break; rather than conducting your love life, placing bets and running half a dozen other jobs during the course of your paid by the hour assignment.

Procedures II

Procedures stifle risk taking and creativity.