Macaroni Salad

Does anyone actually like macaroni salad?

What is the point of this abomination?

Fitness

Given the fact that we are bombarded on a daily basis with propaganda about the "benefits" of exercise and being fit, by the government, the media, the medical profession and "pseudo health experts", would someone care to tell me exactly what "fitness/being fit" actually means?

Storms

Don't fear the storm, go out and play in the rain!

Advice To Politicians

Don't lecture the rest of us about the dangers of drink, when it is quite clear that you cannot handle it yourselves.

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

The fireside log basket is not a cat house.

A Man's Shadow

A small man can last a very large shadow.

Happy Shrove Tuesday

Get tossing those pancakes folks!

Advice To The BBC

Don't try to educate the financially illiterate about how to buy and sell shares in the two minute "financial" segment on your Breakfast "news" show.

Online Etiquette

It is ill mannered for long lost "friends" to suddenly make contact online only by means of a message saying that they have updated their CV.

How To Ask a Question Politely

Don't send the text of your query in the subject line of an email, whilst leaving the body of the email blank.

Advice To Academics

Don't pass the hard work of others, who are not academics, off as your own.

Ongoing Advice To My Cat

The bacon on my plate is my food for me to eat, not for you to nick then eat on the Chinese rug!

Annoying Little Dipshits

People who pester you for something - often money - who then bugger off once you have sent it/done it, and don't contact you again even to say thank you.

Pebbles

Once the avalanche has begun it is too late for the pebbles to vote!

Pigeons

My compliments to the pigeon that so accurately, and with devastating effect, crapped on my head this morning as I was drawing money from an ATM!

Bullshit Management Speak

"I relish the challenge".

Bullshit Management Speak

"I want you to give 110%".

Diamond Jubilee

Happy Diamond Jubilee!

Advice To PPI Claims Firms

Stop cold calling me you odious money grabbing *****!

Question For My Cat

Where the hell did you get to last night, only to amble home at 10:00AM this morning?

Question For My Cat

Since when did you start to enjoy eating pancakes with jam?