Christmas

Christmas is for wants, not needs.

Delusion

Increasing the number of troops on the ground to try to quell a foreign civil war merely makes matters worse.

Talking Heads

Beware talking heads, who claim to be "experts" on life and events, they are disembodied with no substance,

Faith and Ignorance

Policies driven by faith based analysis and ignorance are doomed to failure.

Head On

Sometimes an issue is best addressed head on, avoiding the issue merely exacerbates it.

Great Lies of The 21st Century

"Mission Accomplished!"

Great Lies of The 21st Century

Extended warranties.

Plumptuous

Plumptuous is a word that is not used nearly enough, I commend it to you.

Audit Committees

Audit committees function best when the members are awake, and do not doze off.

Pig Headedness

Pig headed people reap what they sow.

Great Lies of The 21st Century

Organic produce.

Great Lies of The 21st Century

High speed broadband.

Limits

Limits are there to be stretched.

Waiting

Contrary to the hype surrounding the "instant gratification" society that we live in, waiting for something is in fact good for you.

Great Lies of The 21st Century

"New Improved"

Fat People

Why can't fat people be allowed to be fat?

Stigmatising part of the population, because they do not fit in with current theories as to what constitutes human physical perfection, is wrong.

Sanctions

For a real insight into the effectiveness, or otherwise, of sanctions just ask Fidel Castro.

Conquest vs Control

Conquest is easy, control is not.

Walk The Extra Mile

The people who do the actual fighting and dying are those who would walk the extra mile to avoid war.

Bold Moves

Bold moves make history.

Mocking Politicians

The mocking of politicians' vanity, habits and competence by the media is the sign of a healthy democracy.

Reminding politicians of their failings keeps them on the straight and narrow.

Great Lies of Today

24 hour customer service for IT problems.

Freezers

No matter how large a freezer, it is never large enough; especially in the run up towards Christmas.

Democracies

Democracies are not perfect.

However, they work because people know that no matter how bad an administration may be, it can be voted out of office come the next election.

The Advancement of Society

The only way for a society to advance and improve itself is for every rock to be kicked over, and every dark dingy place to have a bright light focused on it; so that the unpleasant nasty little creatures, that inhabit that twilight world, are exposed for all to see.

Second Guessing

Do not try to second guess past decisions and actions, it is waste of time and resources.

Past Decisions

Past decisions are dead decisions, and should not be revisited.

Face Saving

Offering an enemy a face saving alternative is a just as an important weapon in a country's arsenal as bombs and guns.

Great Lies of Today

Deep fill sandwiches.

The Future

We all have a stake in the future, yet there are many who still prefer to live in the past.

Bleeding

Never let people see you bleed.

Playing The Victim

People, races and religions that seek to engender public support by playing the victim should think again.

It is a policy that loses them people's respect, and makes them forever the victim.

These "professional" victims should get off their knees!

Leadership

A good leader often has to ask people to make sacrifices to achieve goals.

The best leaders sometimes have to sacrifice themselves.

Riding The Bus

Most people spend their lives riding the bus, when in fact they should be driving the bus.

Hearing Voices

When one man claims that he hears voices in his head, he is called mad.

When millions of people claim that they hear God talking to them, they are called religious.

Inquiries

Never set up a public inquiry if you don't know the outcome in advance.

Failure

Have the courage to fail, and you will climb mountains.

Advice To Event Organisers

When organising a public event, such as a conference, make sure that you have sufficient funds to pay the suppliers/caterers etc.

Footprints

A footprint doesn't look anything like a boot.

Weakness

A weak man will always take extreme actions to prove himself.

Leaving Things To The Last Minute

Do not leave things to the last minute.

Inevitably you will not have time to deal with them properly, and it is unfair on those around you who you end up asking to help you out.

Missed Deadlines

Unforgiveable!

Unprofessional!

Unacceptable!

Playing The Victim

Some groups wallow in the succor and comfort of playing the victim.

They should stop this, and earn people's respect by standing up for themselves rather than relying on others to do it for them.

Fights

It is inadvisable to get involved in a fight with someone who has nothing to lose.

Barefoot

The man who walks barefoot should have no fear of the man wearing shoes.

Who is to say that the man wearing shoes does not find them restrictive and uncomfortable?

Making an Offer

When negotiating the purchase of an item, irrespective of your price limit, it is important to have the money to hand to fund the transaction.

Failure to complete on a deal makes you look unreliable and dishonest.

Competition

The only person that you should compete against is yourself.

Dull

One can never be dull in one's own company.

Wisdom

Wisdom is never gained by one bite of the apple. The entire orchard must be harvested first, before wisdom can be truly achieved.

Challenging Deadlines

Businesses stand a better chance of success when management and staff are set challenging deadlines and tasks, which push them to find the best within themselves.

Walls

When a wall obstructs your progress, if you can't go around it then knock it down.

Do not let things get in your way.

Food

It's not the food that you eat that is bad for you, but the variety and quantity.

The Fiery Pit

Into the fiery pit of despair let us plunge our hands, and draw forth a
nugget of gold forged in the crucible of flames.

Bold Gestures

Bold gestures can give history a nudge.

Life

Is there a cure for life?

Shouting

Those who shout the loudest may find that their message is obscured, and maybe even not heard, because of the noise that they are making.

People Management

Managing people without their knowing that you are managing them is a very valuable, and rare, skill.

Leadership

A good leader never shies away from tough decisions.

Great Lies of The 21st Century

Airline reward schemes.

Great Lies of The 21st Century

"This stock will fly!"

Power

Countries and individuals with power over others should exercise that power with humility and sparingly.

The more the power is used, the less effective it becomes and one day the situation may well be reversed.

Great Lies of The 21st Century

"There will be a slight delay to your journey."

Losing Office

Losing office gives one the taste of freedom that presidents and CEO's can only dream of.

Ignorance

It is wise not to display your ignorance on a bulletin board.

Deadlines

Deadlines are the liberators of human drive and energy.

Scales

Scales can lie, trousers cannot.

The Yoke

The yoke on the oxen feels no guilt.

Laughter

Laughter is the shortest distance between two people, and is the best way to break down barriers.

Laughter

Laughter is the shortest distance between two people, and is the best way to break down barriers.

Expunge The Past At Your Peril

Those who seek to change the present and enhance their own power by expunging comments, people and actions from history are in danger of themselves being expunged.

Carpe Diem

It is quite possible that some people, because of their parsimonious attitude to life, will die without ever having been alive.

Political Parties

Beware political parties or leaders that make repeated emphasis of the words "the people" (a loathsome expression), they do not seek to serve the citizens who vote for them but their own self interest and the self interest of a chosen elite.

Emperors

It is not usually an emperor's privilege to hear the truth spoken to his face.

People

The best laid plans, and well thought through strategies, will often "come a cropper" as a result of the one unpredictable element essential to all of them...people.

Were it to become possible to remove people from a plan, then you would be assured of success.

Hope

A regime or government that offers it subjects no hope of better things to come, but merely offers them a perpetual struggle against a state hyped "threat", is destined to be consigned to the funeral pyre of history.

Advice To Rail Passengers

Seats are for people, not; feet, bags or any other assorted crap that you choose to try to isolate yourself from other passengers with.

With regards to mobile phones; no, we are not at all interested in hearing about Chloe's latest date or what John said during that urgent business meeting. In short, keep your voices down when talking on mobile phones.

Alarm Clocks

Beware alarm clocks, their shrill early morning tones can be injurious to your health and mental well being.

Great Lies of The 21st Century

High speed high capacity broadband for domestic users.

Politicians and The Media

Politicians who leak policy announcements and related information to the media, without using the normal political channels (eg parliament) have nothing but contempt for the political and democratic system within which they operate.

These politicians should be removed from office immediately.

Slouching

Advice to teenagers.

Do not slouch, a slovenly and lazy posture adds nothing to your "status" in the world.

Leaders

Leaders with sick minds tend to pass on that sickness to those that they lead.

Sick leaders should be removed from office immediately.

Insanity

It is unwise for an insane man to hold high office, whether he is a CEO or prime Minister.

When insanity becomes apparent, it is the duty of those around him to remove him from office.

Press Releases

It is unwise to issue press releases when suffering from a hangover.

Playing The Victim

Those who play the victim, will always be the victim.

Get off your knees, and earn people's respect.

Manners

Manners, like water, tend to evaporate in the heat.

In order to restore the equilibrium, tip a bucket of cold water over the ill mannered individual.

God and Religion

God, if he exists, does not need a flawed man made religion to validate his existence.

Stupidity

Never underestimate man's capacity for stupidity.

Companies, Governments and Buckets

Companies and governments are like buckets with holes, they leak.

Risk

Risk is the spice that gives life flavour.

Hearing

Hearing is not the same as listening.

Looking

Looking is not the same as reading and understanding.

Brinkmanship

Brinkmanship can be an effective tool in negotiations. However, those who seek to employ this tool must take care not to tip over the brink.

Altruism

Beware the colleague who claims altruism when he says:

"I am only suggesting this for your own good"

He is lying, the suggestion is in fact for his private benefit.

Updates

Why do pc's chose the most annoying times to download updates, which invariably slow the workings of the pc down to a snail's pace?

Advice To Owners of Pushchairs

Pushchairs are not battering rams or instruments of aggression, they are designed to convey an infant from A to B in a safe and efficient manner.

Using them as anything other than a means of conveyance puts the safety of the child at risk, and greatly irritates other pedestrians.

Control

To exercise control over a company, you do not always need to have 51% of the shares.

Joining The Dots

Beware the politician that seeks to join the dots, and seeks "connectivity", between threats and events.

Invariably the "connections" are not as strong as the politician would have you believe, more often than not the dots are being joined to promote the particular political fetish/objective of the politician.

Joining the dots is a dangerous political simplification, and should be treated with extreme caution.

Eagles

You will not be able to soar like an eagle if you mix with turkeys.

Water

The purest water is rarely inhabited by fish.

Assumptions

Never assume that people know what you know.

News

Beware that unverified gossip and "opinion" become news and accepted fact.

Politicians

Beware the politician that tries to use military force against a faith or an idea. Faith can no more be killed by force of arms, than the earth be stopped from revolving around the sun.

The only way to negate a faith is to expose those who follow it to other ideas and cultures, thereby allowing them to come to their own conclusions about that faith/idea and follow their own paths.

Politicians who seek to use force of arms merely strengthen the faith/idea which they attack, and demonstrate their own intellectual shortcomings.

Invasions

Military invasions and aggressive military operations can only succeed if the invading force has critical mass. Those that subscribe to the modern doctrine of "invasion light" are fools.

Air Conditioning

Excessive air conditioning is worse than no air conditioning, it is a great waste of resources and a threat to health.

Religion

If there is a God, and if he is perfect, the interpretation of his will on earth by man in the form of religion is inevitably flawed, given that man is a flawed being.

As such, people should not live their lives by rigidly adhering to religious teachings.

Holidays

Holidays are the best time to do business and make money.

Continental Europe should take note, unless it wants the Anglo Saxons and Asia Pacific to continue to steal the march on it.

Doing Nothing

Doing nothing is not an option.

Eggs

You can never have too many eggs in your fridge.

Nature

It is illogical to fight against one's own nature.

Ethics

Ethics cannot be applied selectively, to suit your mood or the circumstances, either in business or in foreign policy.

Diplomacy

In order for diplomacy to actually work and be effective, it is necessary for countries to have both formal and informal contacts with each other, as well as diplomats actually placed in situ.

Countries that do not have these arrangements, do not have a hope in hell of resolving issues diplomatically.

Offices of State

It is entirely correct and proper that Offices of State such as; the President, the Prime Minister, the King/Queen etc should be respected.

However, it is not always the case that those people who hold these offices are, or indeed should be, respected.

War By Proxy

Those nations that conduct war by proxy, in the hope of avoiding becoming directly involved, are living in a fool's paradise.

Advice For Those Who Suffer From The Heat

Eat a large Eisbein with mashed potato.

This will assist the sweating process, and provide you with much needed protein and salt.

Good Leadership

A good leader does not leave his men on the beach.

PERIOD!

Advice To Call Centres

1 Employ people who speak English

2 Employ people who do not have heavy regional accents

3 Ensure that your staff place the phone close enough to their heads, so that they can actually be heard when they are speaking

4 Shrivel up and die

Advice To Mexican Restaurants

Minced beef flavoured with chili powder, does not constitute a chili con carne.

Crisis

Crisis always presents opportunity.

"Chances of a Lifetime"

"Chances of lifetimes" are often "offered" by buyers and sellers, yet the
person being offered this chance often rejects it, funny that!

Professionalism

Professional companies and organisations answer emails, letters and phone calls from their customers.

Amateurs, unprofessionals and failing companies don't.

Negative Emails

Sending negative sounding e-mails, when there is no need, is a bad habit.

It is to be avoided.

Advice To "Professional" Chefs

Check your egos and temperaments in at the front door, before you enter the kitchen.

When a customer asks you to fry an egg, do it; don't argue that you are too busy. The customer comes first, not your egos, vanity and arrogance.

Assessment

No one can ever hope to make a realistic assessment of a country's intentions, or capabilities, if they do not have direct contact with that country and people on the ground there.

Think About It

We have two eyes, two ears but only one tongue.

Think about it!

Post Vacation Depression

The cure for post vacation depression is to simply not come back from vacation.

Weather Forecasts

Weather forecasts are either hopelessly wrong, or a statement of the bleedin' obvious.

Loud Feet

Walk with loud feet to enhance your authority.

Hubris

As sure as eggs are eggs, nemesis follows hubris.

Pissing In Saunas

Pissing in the sauna is not to be recommended. It is unsanitary, and presents the pisser with the danger of steam burns in sensitive areas.

Judge Ye Not

Don't be so small-minded as to judge someone by the size of their car.

Money

The prospect of receiving a large sum of money is a remarkable incentive for hard work, endeavour and co-operation.

Convoys

Just as a convoy can only travel at the speed of the slowest ship, so it is in business where the business can only move forward at the speed of the slowest member of the board.

Democracy

The faults and failings of democracy are well known. However, far better for social order and humanity to be able to vote a deceitful incompetent government out of office than to endure the jackboot of tyranny.

Dicking People Around

Don't dick people around by constantly changing requests for information and quotes, it is really irritating and counterproductive.

Evergreen Trees

Nothing grows under a large evergreen tree. So the same can be said for dominant leaders in business and politics.

Ridicule

Ridicule is the most effective method of destroying a political career. A politician who is constantly ridiculed is as effective as a condom with a hole in it.

Pissing

When pissing into a lavatory bowl it is advisable to aim at the receptacle, rather than the seat or the floor.

Sauna

When taking a sauna, it is inadvisable to wear socks.

Leadership

A leader, in order to be effective, must stamp his authority and personality on an organisation within the first 100 days of taking power.

Up

Where do you go from up?

Emails

When sending an email be sure that you make it clear what you mean, most especially be careful not use the wrong subject heading in the title of the email.

Politicians

Politicians, much like ineffective business leaders, constantly feel the need to change the status quo.

This is not due to changing threats and circumstances, but due to the need to be seen to be busy.

Eggs

Do not use an egg to smash a rock.

Vision

A leader without vision is as effective, and useful, as a car without petrol. To speak in the vernacular, he ain't going nowhere.

Change

Change cannot be effectuated, if those who have to endure the consequences of change do not wish to change.

Democratisation

People and countries are less likely to be willingly "democratised", if they are staring down the wrong end of the barrel of a gun.

Research

When meeting a potential client, common sense and best business practice dictates that you should conduct some research about the potential client before meeting them.

The most obvious starting point being the client's website.

Going to a meeting unprepared is unimpressive and unprofessional.

Spell Check

When posting articles on the web, always spell check them first.

Motivation

To motivate yourself, write your own obituary (as you would like to be remembered) then action all the achievements yet to be realised.

Depression

Depression, like the common cold, is infectious.

It is best to keep a safe mental distance from those who are depressed, lest you become infected yourself.

Military Forces

Military forces are lethal weapons designed to be used in times of war. They are not meant to be used for nation building or democratising other countries.

Hunger

In order to be truly motivated to earn money, one must be hungry.

IT Help Desks

Beware the phrase, used when there is a technical glitch, "engineers should be looking at this problem"; it means that the help desk has no idea whether the engineers have even been informed of the problem.

Legal Issues

Legal issues and morality are mutually exclusive.

Politicians

Politicians can survive most things, except ridicule; once they are deemed to be ridiculous in the eyes of the voters and their colleagues, they are finished.

Travelling By Plane

It is clear that many people who travel by plane, lack the basic skills necessary to embark upon such a journey.

First time travellers and the ignorant should be placed on mandatory training courses, which would cover the following:

1 Ensuring that they have all the relevant documents, eg passport tickets etc, to hand when checking in

2 Minimising conversation with the check in staff, so as not to delay those in the queue behind

3 Bringing only essential items onto the aircraft, rather than the kitchen sink

4 Turning mobile phones off when told

5 Ensuring that banned items, eg knives, are not brought through security

6 Doing as told by airline staff

7 Consideration for other travellers

8 Not talking to the person in the seat nextdoor, unless invited

Follow the above rules, and the journey will be far more pleasant and speedy for all.

Answering Machines

When confronted with an answering machine I strongly recommend that the caller leaves a message, rather then ring back a dozen times during the day.

The constant calling, and blank messages on the answering machine, merely serve to irritate the person being called.

Politicians

Why do we pay politicians?

The best person most suited to public service is someone who can afford to do this without a salary; ie someone who is doing it not for money or patronage.

Barbecues

As sure as eggs are eggs, you can guarantee that if you organise a barbecue even in the midst of a hot summer it will rain on the day of the barbecue.

The Law

The law, and those who seek to enforce the law, can only attain the respect of people if common sense is exercised when enforcing it.

Faith

Many a potentially successful project has failed, before it has even started, owing to a lack of faith.

Unanswered Emails

An email unanswered is an abomination.

History

History rewards those who demand the impossible.

Male Pattern Baldness

Why is that in science fiction shows, that portray a future where diseases are cured and mankind lives a long and healthy life, the cure for male pattern baldness has not been found?

Great Rip Offs of The 21st Century

The price of ink cartridges for printers.

Great Lies of Today

"We are very sorry to hear of your disappointment with our service".

Joint Ventures

Joint ventures do not succeed if one of the partners treats the other merely as a "cash cow".

Brands

Brands do not build themselves.

Great Men

Great men tend to be narcissistic.

Over Prescriptive Governments

An over prescriptive government is a weak government, anxious to try to prove its machismo.

Health Obsession

The Western world's current obsession with healthy eating and "turning the clock back" is not at all healthy, it reveals a self obsessed fearful culture that refuses to accept the inevitability of ageing and change.

Missed Deadlines

Missed deadlines are a clear warning sign that something is amiss.

Beware dealing with people and organisations that cannot meet a deadline.

Politics

Success and failure in politics is determined by momentum.

The Fickleness of The Sun

As sure as eggs are eggs, as soon as you are ready to go out into the sunshine a cloud will appear.

Extended Guarantees

Extended guarantees are the rip off of the century. The companies that try to sell these worthless products know full well that they are not worth the outlay.

They should be treated with the comtempt that they deserve.

Deadlines

People and organisations that miss deadlines, miss opportunities.

Money

Money is not a self replicating product, large quantities of it can only be amassed by hard diligent work.

Those that try to say otherwise are indolent idiots.

Surprise

By definition everything is new, therefore why are we surprised by events?

Kittens and Biscuits

A cat can have kittens in the oven.

However, that doesn't make them biscuits.

If The Shoe Doesn't Fit

If the shoe doesn't fit then, the chances are, it isn't your shoe.

A Flood of Words

A flood of words rarely produces more than a few drops of common sense and value.

Early to Bed

Beware the politician who goes to bed early each day, by shutting the world off at such an early hour they betray a lack of understanding of the realities of life.

Consensus

Those who seek consensus are invariably disappointed and frustrated at the outcome.

It is a suboptimal solution, and will inevitably ensure that the issues that need to be addressed are in fact not addressed.

Kick Start

Kick start your day with an Irish coffee.

Failure II

Failure is the irresistible consequence of success.

Failure

There is no such thing as failure, it is merely a process of elimination.

The Light at The End of The Tunnel

Beware the light at the end of the tunnel, it may be an oncoming train!

To Know

To know is better than not to know.

Domain Names

When buying a domain name, make sure that you have spelt it correctly.

Democracies and War

Democratically elected leaders all desire the credibility and authority that a victory in war can bring them.

Office vs Power

Some labour under the delusion that gaining office is the same as gaining power.

It is not!

Family Businesses

Those with ambition and drive should avoid joining a family run business, if they wish to climb the corporate ladder on their own merits.

In a family business the only way up the ladder is via arse kissing, or marriage into the family.

Excuses

Excuses waste time.

Blocked Nose

If you are suffering from a blocked nose, chew a fresh clove of garlic.

It is highly effective at easing the blockage.

Survival

It is not enough to survive, you have to be worthy to survive as well.

Ready Made Meals

Ready made meals are the opium of the lazy and indolent. They are expensive, and awash with excess salt and fat.

They should be avoided at all costs.

Restaurant Kitchens

Beware restaurants where the kitchen has no banter or atmosphere.

Move With The Times

Move with the times, or the times will move you.

The Quiet Ones

The quiet ones are the ones who change the universe, the loud ones take the credit.

Time

Each day, each hour, each second in time is unique and should be savoured.

Integrity

Integrity is not an option.

The Immutable Laws of The Universe

The Immutable Laws of The Universe are as follows:

• It is impossible to achieve a state of zero risk



• The costs of trying to achieve zero risk are truly staggering, and are simply not economically viable



• Struggle gives life meaning



• Profit is the reward for risk.
  
  We live in a capitalist society, and rely on companies and individuals to earn money to make the economy work and grow. Without this growth we would still all be festering in caves.
  
  Zero risk means zero profit, which in turn means that no one would go into business and the economy would grind to a halt

Life

Life is the same now as it was when it first emerged from the primeval swamp.

The only difference between then and now being the forms that life takes.

Relying on The State

Relying on the state to act as arbiter in day to day situations simply turns people into mindless automatons, destined to decay and wallow in their own filth as they wait for the state to wipe their bottoms.

Man

Man is small when measured against the vastness of space and time.

However, his limitless dreams and vision transcend those parameters.

Old Man

Beware an old man in a hurry.

Dreams and Nightmares

Dreams and nightmares need to be fed if they are to be kept alive.

The Achievements of The Past

There is a tendency in the Western World to belittle and underestimate the achievements so the past.

This is a foolish, arrogant and dangerous notion; as it ignores the knowledge that our ancestors took generations to accumulate, and means that we do not learn from past mistakes.

Arrogance comes before a fall.

Coffee Centres

Does anyone actually like coffee centred chocolates?

Memory

Memory anchors us in time, and gives us perspective on our place in the universe.

Aspirations

In order for mankind to develop and improve it is important that people are not held back, in a misguided attempt by the state to "protect" those at the lower echelons, by those at the lowest level of society.

People need to be challenged, by aspiring to the standards set by those at the very top, in order to give of their best.

The resulting improvements and developments will be to everyone's benefit.

The Future

We live in a universe of infinite possibilities, every choice that we make takes us down a different path to a different universe.

The Past

You cannot change the past, but you can change the future.

The Dark Side

Mankind seeks to rid itself of its dark side, yet it is the dark side that gives us our strength, ambition and drive.

Without these qualities man would still be living in caves.

Spying

Those who breed a culture of spying and reporting the actions of others, eventually get spied on themselves.

The Market

Let the market decide where to allocate resources, not the five year plan.

Capitalism

Capitalism transcends all ideologies and geographical boundaries.

The Rush To Legislate

Beware politicians who rush to legislate, without thinking through the consequences of their legislation, it will be the people that they govern who pay the price for the sloppy legislation.

Progress

Progress and pain are synonymous with each other, that is why they both begin with a "P".

Capital Expenditure

Before committing yourselves to a major piece of capital expenditure, always ensure that you actually know what you want your "bright, new, shiny" machine to do; and make sure that it can actually do it.

The Iron Content of Liver

Liver reputedly has a high iron content, yet you cannot pick it up with a magnet.

Why?

Rich or Poor

It doesn't matter as to whether you are rich or poor, so long as you have enough money.

Darkness

Those that deny their inner darkness, deny their own existence.

Hotel Quotes

Always double check the quotes that you receive for hotel accommodation against the amount actually charged on you bill.

Eating an Elephant

The best way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time.

As it is for an elephant, so it is for the problems that life throws at you.

They should be taken one bite at a time.

Start Small

Start small, think big!

Families

Tricky things are families.

They know exactly where your weak spots are, and know exactly how to exploit those weak spots.

The one saving grace is that this technique works both ways!

Change and Adaptation

The evolution of species provides us with a very important lesson about life. Those organisations and individuals that do not adapt to change, will die out.

The same can be said for those religions that do not grow and adapt to the changes that take place in society.

Hot Tubs

Hot tubs are unhealthy and unsanitary.

They should be avoided.

When Things Go Wrong

It is a law of the universe that when things go wrong, they go wrong in threes.

Politicians and Their Families

Beware the politician that pushes his family life to the forefront of his political campaign.

The chances are that he is hiding a deep, dark secret that would expose the "happy family" as a total fiction.

Can such a person be trusted?

No!

The Cure For Unhealthy Celebrity Fixations

One very unhealthy aspect of modern society is the obsessive fixation that the media and some individuals have with celebrities.

There is an easy cure for this unhealthy fixation, simply visualise your favourite celebrity on the toilet.

Problem solved!

Respect

Respect for individuals or groups can only be earned, it cannot be created or enforced by legislation.

Those who seek to use legislation, to enforce respect, are immature and lacking in self respect.

Optimism

There is a fine line between optimism and delusion.

Moods

It is a fact of life that the more someone tells you to cheer up, when you are down, the worse your mood will become.

The best cure for a bad mood is to be left in peace and quiet, to work through it by yourself.

Deadwood

Business associates who bring nothing to the table in terms of; money, contacts, skills or ideas should be treated as deadwood and removed.

Albatross

Better to have an albatross around your neck, than nothing at all.

Morality

Morality comes from your genes, not from a holy book.

Staff Toilets

The state of a business can be assessed by the state of the staff toilets.

Parents and Children

Parents and children spend their lives making each other feel guilty, they then continue to do it from beyond the grave.

Dying

When someone is dying, everybody loves them.

Size

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog that counts.

Turnover

Turnover is vanity.

Profit is sanity.

Fate

Perhaps you cannot cheat fate.

However, nonetheless, you should not stop trying.

Knowledge

I know what I know.

However, the question is, what don't I know?

Initiatives

Beware the politician or business leader that introduces new "initiatives" on a regular basis.

None of these will ever be implemented in an effective or efficient manner.

The person introducing them does not have the patience, or the ability, to manage their effective introduction.

Do Not Cosset Your Children

A crucial part of growing up is about learning how to handle accidents and mishaps.

Children who are wrapped in cotton wool grow into immature pathetic adults who are incapable of looking after themselves, and who rely on the state for every little thing.

Do Not Cosset Your Children.

Waiters

Treat your waiter with respect, whilst they are serving your food, even if he or she is an utter shit.

Remember, the waiter is responsible for conveying your food from the kitchen to the table; a lot can happen in the short space of time.

Pride vs Principle

There is a fine dividing line between pride and principle.

Care should be exercised when taking a stand.